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Numby the Rookie Soothsayer

So I see that Numby over there at the Post pulling cards out of his proverbial Swami hat, trying to predict the future of our rookies based on a pre-training camp performance, oh that’s intelligence right there.

Numbnuts Woody Paige

Remind us for the umpteenth time oh Swami Numby, remind us how many Broncos practices you’ve been to in the past. Unfortunately, that don’t matter squat–that don’t prevent you from being perennially wrong. Like the great Ditka says, you live in the past, you die in the past. If you people want a look into the mind of P.P. just study Ditka, Ian McShane and Sun Tzu.

Based on Swami Numby’s pre-training camp assessments of Ryan Clady and more recently the great Chris Simms and other foibles (such as Moreno a no-no, that one hasn’t quite come into fruition yet, but it will) I wouldn’t sweat Numby’s pre-training camp assessments one bit. Oh yeah, Orton just throws the ball into the stands every play, that was a brilliant assessment last year.  Same kind of sea cucumber brain that spurts out the Broncos are gonna go 8 and 8 this year back in January. Numby’s sordid reality rarely comes into fruition–thankfully for us, while I am reality. How many times have I been right and that Numby’s been perennially wrong? I don’t even have near the access this buffoon has yet my premium acuity is on display for all to see.

He’d bankrupt the whole team for a head case and a Huckdort who never won nothin. Oh yeah run right down there to Nashville, home of the wooden pinball machine, run right down there and give Huckdort some toys to make him feel better. He’d probably fire McDaniels after one year and make Nolan coach. “Maybe the wrong coach left in January,” did you hear that one?His  Chris “Double Rainbow” Simms would have led us to a true 4 and 12 mockery last season.

I went to see this travesty of an article where Numby predicts the future of some of our rookies, downplaying the great Zane Beadles–how dare he mock this man.  I also noticed someone on that Denver Post bemoaning the loss of Jay Huckdort Cutler. Unbelievable. Trying to say Jay Huckdort Cutler sucks with the Bears but he was great in Denver. I don’t care if he threw for 5,000 yards for us, that Huckdort ain’t no winner, ain’t no way no how. Throwing the ball around all crazy, flubbing around like a chicken with its head cut off in the fourth quarter–flubbing around when the game was on the line, getting picked left and right when it mattered most.

Shanahan should’ve known that Huckdort didn’t look right. Remember how great it was when Huckdort took over for Jake Plummer? That was genius wasn’t it. Don’t get me wrong, Shanahan brought us to a couple Super Bowls, there is some credit to be given there even though he rode the coattails of John Elway, but Shanahan stayed on too long and his whiny, me first prima donna players had to go.

I heard that Klis saying the offense will be impacted cause we got rid of Marshall and Scheffler. Scheffler? Are you kidding me? You’re kidding right? A guy that can’t stay on the field and a guy we rarely even used last year? Not to mention a Marshall supporting rogue who “couldn’t wait for the season to end.” Good riddance. We don’t know what the offense will be like this year, forget this “hard to imagine being more than mediocre” nonsense, we don’t know. We won’t know until we’ve seen some actual game situations, some preseason games.

We could run the ball a lot better this year, and that’s big for the offense right there.  I’ll tell you what if we ain’t running the ball in preseason, we ain’t gonna in the regular season that’s for damn sure. But we don’t know just how well and how quickly these new receivers are going to contribute, and we don’t know how this new offensive line will gel. Could be sooner, later or never. I sure as hell ain’t making my predictions for rookies or the season record until we’ve seen a couple preseason games–not January that’s for sure like some Numby did, or base the contributions of a rookie on how well he reacts to pre-training camp garbage can practices. I have a feeling about this Beadles, and as far as Tebow goes I know his role. Whether he performs it well remains to be seen, but I ain’t gonna do the ridiculous thing and tell you who’s going to get cut before training camp even begins–talk about arrogance. You have to see these guys play in preseason, then you can base your opinion on something tangible.

That elitist Numby, living in his own sordid world, I bet he thinks he can tell the future Broncos without basing his derelict assumptions on facts. Remember last year, Numby practically hoping for us to lose games, hoping Orton blew it so his foul predictions could come into fruition.  Conduct detrimental to the team I say, get him out of there.  Get that Numby out of there. Now he’s sitting there probably fresh off a gin bender, sitting there ranking on our rookies, probably based on what some stumble bum said at a bar before camp even officially starts. He ain’t serious, he ain’t a serious journalist, just someone’s crazy uncle throwing out lies and distortions.

The audacity to scribe “Broncos need to pull trigger on Orton trade,” before we even figure out if our other QB’s can play. That would have been brilliant, trade away our one proven QB going into this year.

I’m hoping we get that Thomas signed up and ready to go, we need our new, faster Brandon Marshall out there–minus the rap sheets, touchdown gloves and McDonalds bags.

Tim Tebow Agrees to 5 Year Deal with Broncos

Tebow agrees to five year deal between 11.5 and 12 million with the Broncos. Get ready people, it’s only a couple days until Tebow Time, Elvis has entered the building folks.

Tim Tebow Broncos

What’s this I hear? Timmy Teebs playing hardball and is missing the first day of rookie camp? Didn’t Numby take him to John Elway’s birthday party? What’s going on here? Numby ought to get on the phone right now and do something about it.

“You’re missing time and you can’t afford to miss it,” McDaniels told Tebow, according to ESPN NFL Live’s Ed Werder. “You’re not going to get these snaps back.”

Earth to Teebs: The balls on this guy, you’re lucky you got drafted in the first round.

Called up DirecTV today after reading about all these deals for new subscribers. Taking care of the newbies and giving us veterans the shaft, eh? What a joke that is, I called up and made a mistake, I made the mistake of talking to a normal CSR over there. Didn’t know nothing, didn’t do nothin’–was pretty much good for nothin’ and was an absolute waste of oxygen. pissed me off, I hadn’t called in a while, didn’t have to since my last outburst. So I slammed the phone down, redialed and said “customer retention” at the prompt, then I said “cancel.” Damn right, that’s the only word they know over there at CSR: Cancel.

Got all fired up, talked to a decent human being Jason, even gave me his badge number to reference. Told him I’ve been with them since 2001 and I’m looking at all these new deals, making my damn head spin, so what the hell? I got 20 bucks off my Sunday Ticket each month, ten bucks off HD for two years, free Skinemax and Showtime for 6 months and free HD receiver and HD DVR upgrades (I’m buying them myself, I am a professional consumer who demands the latest technology, not gonna wait around for hit or miss installation crap). This is a lesson for some of you people out there and for kids out there, when you walk into a store, act like you own the damn place. The customer is always correct–I repeat, the customer is always correct. Reminds me of the time I went to the track at Saratoga and the raviolis ended up on the ceiling. That waitress will never forget the mantra the customer is always correct.

Writing a letter of commendation for that Jason over there pronto. You’ve got to reward the ones who know what time it is.

Tebow Now Peddling Jockey Brand Tighty-Whiteys

Somewhere, a Denver Post writer is probably bouncing off the walls at this announcement…

Tim Tebow Woody Paige

Zane Beadles Broncos

The acuity and the capacity

I believe the offensive line just got upgraded by the signing of Zane Beadles, he’s got the acuity and the capacity, got a feeling he’s gonna be a diabolical tactician out there.

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