Tom Brady Jumped the Shark

brady-hair

What do you call that hairstyle? A ploof? A floof?

A Sea Cucumber?

She’s the one dressing him, that’s for damn sure.

Hard to root for this guy anymore. I think New England’s on a path to the beautiful letdown, after all those Super Bowl runs… You people up in New England can blame the Giselle-ification of Brady.  Holy hell.

In other news, the Broncos must draft a running back in the 3rd to 4th rounds at the latest. Otherwise, they ain’t even serious about revamping the running game. It doesn’t just need tweaking, it needs revamping. Wouldn’t bother me to see them take an offensive lineman in the first round neither.

C’mon Elway and company, surprise me… Otherwise I’ll start calling for Gary Busey to replace you.

Clearly, Big Daddy Elway is reading P.P.

Remember all the talk the past two years about some “great defense” in Broncos land?

Big Daddy just signed three All Pro caliber defensive players. Pretty big overhaul to something that wasn’t broken to begin with. I’ve said all along we’re three to four players short of a good defense.

Defense isn’t the only problem, the running game is abysmal against good teams. This at least shows they are well aware of the problem. I don’t want to see 55 touchdowns through the air next year. “Greatest passing attack of all time ..”

What did that get them?

Meanwhile in La La land at the Denver Post, ol’ Woody Paige says bring back Mike Shanahan as an “aide.”

Probably one of the dumbest things I’ve ever skimmed.

Broncos Sign Demarcus Ware — Still Need Linebacker

Demarcus Ware BroncosThe Broncos made yet another big splash in free agency signing ex-Cowboys defensive end Demarcus Ware to a three year deal. This signing officially makes Broncos free agent DE Shaun Phillips expendable, although he’s welcome back if its a bargain. If they stay healthy, the Broncos added three Pro Bowl caliber players to their 2014 defense. It seems Mr. Elway is finally doing what I wanted and is heeding the iron words of P.P. Dublinski. I didn’t want to hear the Broncos were a “great defense” with such gaping holes, but the proverbial ship is getting caulked.  The Broncos defense still needs to fill a spot at linebacker beside Danny Trevathan and Vonn Miller.

I originally called for an All-Pro caliber Safety, Linebacker and Cornerback. With the signing of Ware, the new linebacker just needs to be solid, somebody tough who hits hard. I don’t see Nate Irving or Paris Lenon filling that role at middle linebacker.

Broncos Sign CB Aqib Talib, Safety T.J.Ward

Aqib Talib Denver Broncos

Two down, two to go.

Well there you go folks, two out of the four signings I wanted on the first day of free agency. Clearly the Broncos realize their needs in the secondary and they netted a playmaking cornerback in Aqib Talib as well as a hard hitting safety with a mean streak in T.J. Ward.

Now the Broncos need a very good linebacker and a running back. Another running back unless they absolutely, positively believe Montae Ball can be the guy. They’ve recently said they aren’t looking for a RB in free agency, so I’d expect them to acquire one in the early rounds if they smartly become serious about running the ball more.

Of course, signing a Demarcus Ware wouldn’t hurt any either.

In other news, I heard Woody Paige cut a hellacious dusty boofart and had to be escorted out of the Denver Post newsroom.

An Open Letter to John Elway

Elway Teeth

Big Daddy Elway better pony up for a Safety.

I have assurances that this missive will reach Broncos General Manager John Elway, so here goes.

As most of you people may know, I P.P. Dublinski did not approve of the Peyton Manning signing from the start and here is why:

First, I liked the direction the team was headed in. The Broncos had a run-first mentality. Run-first, play good defense and pass well enough to win. It worked at times, but much of the blame was cast on the quarterback who was in reality only deserving of some of it. The team as a whole was mediocre and could be upgraded to perform much better with this philosophy.

Rubes, goobers and Elway cronies in the media such as Shannon Sharpe, Mark Schlereth and Tom Jackson claimed the Broncos defense was “great,” the running game was amazing as was the offensive line.

It was the quarterback ruining the show.

When the Broncos signed Peyton Manning many of the fans went crazy. They jumped for joy.

I knew better.

I knew the Broncos offense wasn’t very good, the defense wasn’t very good and I knew that we’d start to run things the Peyton Manning way. When Willis McGahee claimed he would run for more yards with Manning, I laughed out loud. He obviously didn’t know the Manning style offense of traps, draws, traps.

Omaha… Omaha… Throw, Throw, Throw…

Third down and two yards to go? Throw.

You’ve got to be kidding me.

Furthermore, I wouldn’t have bellyached one bit if the former Broncos QB was supplanted by Brock Osweiler at mid season. That probably would have happened. We would have started a low-priced, young, athletic quarterback with promise and I would have been fine with it.

Peyton Manning Broncos

I don’t want to see any more Papa John’s commercials either, winners don’t do commercials until they retire.

But you of all people John Elway should have known this team was in for an ass whooping. Trying to win a Super Bowl by riding Peyton Manning’s arm? It’s a flawed concept.

You should know the Broncos need a solid running game and a defense instead of relying almost totally on this one-dimensional pocket passing crap.

It doesn’t work, it never wins championships. Dan Fouts, Dan Marino — the pass, pass, pass crap doesn’t work against the very good teams.

Trouble is, the Omaha crap does work in the regular season against the poor and mediocre teams.

It doesn’t work against a Forty Niners defense or a Seahawks defense. You may add a few NFC teams to this list when the regular season starts — some teams are getting better. The Seahwawks covered the Broncos receivers, they pressured Manning and they did not respect the Broncos paltry running attack one bit. The Broncos defense held up for a half but was then worn down. Few big plays were made by the defense because the team doesn’t have playmakers in key positions.

Broncos first Super Bowl? Very average offense, great defense = Loss

Broncos next three Super Bowls? Great QB, lousy running games, very average defenses = Losses

Broncos next two Super Bowls? Great QB, great running games, above average defenses = Wins

Woody Paige

Woody Paige: Last seen giving you 48 reasons why the Broncos would win the big show.

There ain’t no way no how the Broncos are going to win a championship with a very average running game and an average to slightly above average defense. Very few teams can accomplish such a feat in the post season no matter who the QB is. I don’t want to hear a list of excuses from  buffoons like Woody Paige, I don’t want to hear about the Broncos having an amazing defense and I don’t want to hear that all we need to do is get better on defense and get a couple more good receivers.

I have been detached from this team for the last two seasons and it has definately served me well. When the Broncos got beat by the Ravens in the first round I was totally unfazed. When the Broncos got killed by the Seahawks in the Super Bowl I predicted it right here early that very day.

In order for you Mr. Elway, in order for you to regain the powerful alliance of P.P. Dublinski you need to accomplish five things this offseason. Fail these and fail miserably.

I don’t think you’ll do it.

Surprise me.

Hey, I’m only trying to help you to not get embarassed deep in the playoffs next year.

First and foremost, the Broncos need a big-time Safety. Big-time. Get the best, whoever is available. I’d prefer a free agent over drafting since the Broncos have shown they are incapable of drafting a safety in recent years.

Number one top priority right there. Someone who hits hard and sets the tone. Get him at all costs. It’s a glaring hole in this defense. Do everything possible to get the best. Break the proverbial bank on this signing.

Second, acquire a hard hitting, playmaking linebacker. We need someone making plays at this position. Not someone serviceable or “fast” or “can cover.” Hitting hard and making plays. The Broncos are incomplete at linebacker and need one more big-time player at that position.

Third, acquire a ball hawking playmaking cornerback. I don’t care about someone who can just cover, I’m talking about a consistent playmaker at this position similar to a Sam Shields out of Green Bay.  Someone who gets interceptions, I don’t care if they get burned once in a while. This team needs turnovers.

Out of these three players, two must play at an All Pro level. One can just be solid. That’s three players this defense desperately needs.

I would not let Shaun Phillips go. He is the “Alfred Williams” of this defense. Where else would he or Dominique Rodgers-Cromartie go anyways? The Forty Niners? The Seahawks? I’d sign these two as long as they’re reasonable. Certainly let Decker, Knowshon and Ayers go. Woodyard too, I think he’s overrated. I’d re-sign Ayers if he doesn’t ask for much. He is a good rotational player worth a few good plays at times.

Elway needed a running game to really win.

Elway needed a running game to really win.

That said, people who think that Peyton Manning had a bad day and the Broncos just need to bolster their defense to beat the Forty Niners/Seahawks are kidding themselves. Anyone who thinks the Broncos just need to bolster their defense and upgrade their wide receivers are also sea cucumbers with a sizable lack of mental faculty.

Fourth, the Peyton Manning show in Denver needs to be toned down and he needs to split his time with a legitimate running game.

A legitimate running game with a legitimate running back.

I really don’t think Peyton Manning is willing to do it. I don’t think the Broncos brass is willing to do it either. I believe it’s a huge problem and the Broncos won’t adapt.
The type of running game I’m talking about is where the Broncos can line it up on first down and run three times for another first down. Against a good defense, mind you.

Is Montae Ball the answer? I say maybe, but maybe not. I wouldn’t count on it. Hopefully he progresses more. But if I were the Broncos I would probably draft yet another back in the third or fourth rounds. Someone with size and speed. Someone who can really take it to the house when they break free.

We don’t have this player currently.

Sign or draft a new running back with size and speed. I’ll add a second minor part: Do the Broncos even have a fullback? What the hell happened to us?

The Broncos need a legitimate 1,400 yard rusher. They must acquire this or they must split the load between two workhorse running backs.

Do you think they’ll use a fullback? Do you think we’ll see 35 touchdowns for Manning and 20 from our running game?

I don’t. And therein lies the biggest rub.

That is the type of balanced offense that could win a Superbowl and I don’t think the Broncos will adapt. I don’t think Manning would be happy lining it up and running a lot more and doing more of the play action pass thing.

You know that thing that keeps good defenses guessing? That buys that split second because they actually need to honor your running game?

I don’t care about regular season stats. I don’t want to see Manning pass for 55 touchdowns.

Some people think that’s amazing. I don’t at all.

Fifth, the Broncos must commit to the run.

They must play like a Super Bowl team during the regular season.

If they’re smart the Broncos would run the football a lot more and reduce Peyton Manning’s role to where the game doesn’t rest almost completely on his shoulders.

If it’s the same old pass, pass Omaha crap. Run a trap here, run a draw there — then the Broncos are one good opposing defense or one foul day of weather away from getting bounced early in the post season.

Or God forbid embarassed in the Super Bowl.

Yet again.

NFL League Source

League source says: “Just blame the defense.”

It won’t be funny this time either. It will be a series of unforgettable, unforgivable black marks on the franchise.

I will blame John Elway the most. He should know.

I’m telling you people, if this Peyton Manning experiment doesn’t win a Super Bowl, consider it a failure and it will have set the team back.

The ball’s in your court Big Daddy Elway.

P.S. It’s gotten awful quiet in the comments since reality showed up in the Super Bowl.

Seahawks 43 Broncos 8

It seems I gave the Broncos more credit than they deserved in my pre-game prediction. I had them actually scoring 20 points in a loss.

Aren’t you glad you listened to me though? Aren’t you glad that you didn’t buy into the over-hyped Broncos?

Poor saps out there probably crying in their beers. They don’t know what the hell just whacked them…

How about reality?

Oh yeah baby, cause I am reality.

Aren’t you glad you didn’t buy in last year too?

I sure as hell am. Like I’ve said since day one of acquiring Manning… DAY $)&%in ONE… THE BRONCOS WILL NOT WIN A CHAMPIONSHIP THIS WAY.

Oh let’s  see, we’ll take a team that ain’t ready on offense or defense (but everyone and their brother said it was a great team, they just had an inept QB holding them back)

We’ll take a team with a sub-par defense and very average running game and we’ll just tack on a hall of fame QB in the twilight of his years and we’ll become instant Super Bowl contenders… Right?

What a joke. What a disgrace. The whole damn team is practically Peyton Manning now. I don’t like it one bit. If he sucks, the Broncos suck and there ain’t no plan B. He’s about as mobile as Kyle Orton and if you pressure him he does his best Jerry Lewis impression out there. Too bad this team ain’t well rounded on offense, you know, like a plan B of a solid running game. A balanced attack like John Elway and Terrell Davis had.

Elway should have known, shouldn’t he? You can’t rely on a QB–even a great one–to be the whole effin’ show.

But oh no, we’re gonna be this finesse “pocket passing” Omaha!? Omaha!? crap.  Take your Omaha and stick it where the sun don’t shine pal. I want a damn rushing attack, some play action passing… but we won’t get that as long as Pumpkinhead is running the show.

Isn’t it great to be detached from this team for two years now? I sure as hell believe so. Last year when they crapped out in the playoffs I just watched as an unaffected observer. Same with this season, I didn’t buy into ANY of the hype. Even when they were breaking regular season records. I knew this team was weak and lacking. Not a Super Bowl running game, not a Super Bowl defense.

Was surprised the Broncos managed to get to the Super Bowl though, I didn’t quite recognize just how utterly sorry and pathetic the AFC was this year.

Hell, do you people even need another Broncos blog? All I read was a bunch of rah-rahhing crap and gums flapping about stats.

I told it to you people straight from the get-go. Straight from day *&%(*&ing ONE of the Manning debacle.

I could have saved you all sorts of time and anguish if you just listened to the IRON words of ol’ P.P. Dublinski.

Those who have an ear will hear what the Dark Ninja of the Depths is saying…

There should be 200 days of P.P.

Two hundred freaking days of P.P.

On every Colorado station, on every Colorado sports page.

Two hundred days of P.P. telling it like it is. Telling the rubes and the goobers to get lost. Ruling with an iron fist and smacking down sea cucumbers and their faulty logics, their inept thinkery, their debauched mental ineptitude left and right. Left and &^*&in right.

I am ruling and vindicated. Once again.

The rubes and the goobs must have been shell-shocked tonight.

But I sure as hell ain’t.

More to come, much more to come.

P.P. Mode: Seahawks 31 Broncos 20

The Denver Broncos managed to reach the Super Bowl by default this year.

The horrid, decrepit state of the AFC made the Broncos look like world beaters. I’ve enjoyed the pitiful analysis of this team, they’re over-hyped and tonight they will be over-matched.

Like I said, the Forty Niners and Seahawks both have a solid running game, a solid defense and a dynamic quarterback who is not great but good enough. The Broncos have an average running game, an average defense and mainly rely on a passing attack led by a hall of fame quarterback.

The Denver Broncos are a glass cannon.

This team beat the lowly Chargers and the shell-of-their-former-selves Patriots at home in the playoffs?

I sure as hell ain’t impressed. Those teams and those defenses aren’t very good. The Broncos failed to put up over 30 points in each of those games.

I can’t even believe the Patriots were 12-4 this year. Tells you something about the AFC right there. Pathetic. That team was running on fumes for most of the season. Belichik should’ve got coach of the year. It was their coaching that kept them afloat.

I told you people to not waste your time, to not buy into this Manning-led Broncos team and I will be vindicated soon. They will never win a Super Bowl led by Manning. This team could be different right now. We could have used his money to build a solid running game and defense.

You know, something that can actually win a championship.

Heads will roll. Miscreants and the misinformed will see the light.

Rubes will remember why they fear the night.

The Colt Manning led Broncos are about to get flushed down the biggest bowl in football.

The Chargers or Patriots should have taken the humiliating hit instead.

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