Archive for January, 2010

Woody Paige has Hoodie Envy

Thursday, January 14th, 2010

Woody Paige is jealous of Josh McDaniels.

woody paige

He’s jealous and he’s hurt that the new coach don’t listen to a word he says.

This nonsense about Paige being put off -and thinking the team was put off at all- by Josh McDaniel’s gray sweatshirt is an absolute joke. Woody Paige has the gall to say McDaniels don’t know who he is.

On the other subject, I have sat two feet away from McDaniels, just the two of us, and I said: “Lose the hoodie. Get your own thing.” He paid no attention. He stuck it in my face, your face, and the players’ faces. It shouldn’t be that big a deal, except we know why he wears it. He’s still Belichick’s man, not his own man.

This is absolute stupidity, the only one complaining about the hood is Paige and the jealousy is palpable. Maybe Woody Paige ought to stick to an opinion for once. He proclaims the coach’s decisions suck and the season will be an epic failure, then he proclaims McDaniels was the pick of the litter and every decision McDaniels made was golden. Now he’s back to doom and gloom. Maybe Woody should be a man of his word for once and not some fickle, drifting  sea cucumber.

Besides, the tradition of the hoodie tells us McDaniels knows exactly who he is and where he comes from: the Parcells/Belichik tree.

He is a true disciple of Belichik. Instead of getting pushed over, instead of being weak, he takes miscreants like Marshall and Scheffler and benches their asses on the eve of a game with playoff implications.

Oh no, Woody Paige wants to look past Marshall’s crap. He’d take his crap and eat it right in front of the young players. Great message that sends: You too can get away with this nonsense in time.

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Conan O’Brien Does the Right Thing Refusing NBC

Wednesday, January 13th, 2010

I hope he plays hardball and I hope he goes somewhere where his talent is appreciated.

Conan O'Brien

I didn’t like Conan O’Brien when I first seen him. That lanky weirdo with a ridiculous quaff and that weird shaped head.  He don’t look right. Still doesn’t.

Conan is an often misunderstood genius, and he is to be respected, I respect him more now for telling those flailing suits at NBC to go throw their stupid idea about moving his show to 12 PM, telling them to go throw that in the woods.

He is often misunderstood by old farts and old coots who can’t figure something out unless it’s written in big letters and pushed two feet in front of their faces.

I suppose it’s time to bring back “Jaywalking,” and have that Leno make fun of mistake ridden redneck scrawl in newspapers. Oh that’s just a laugh riot ain’t it. What did that Horvil Tiki say all the time, eh? Corny. That’s what Leno is: corny.

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Josh McDaniels Rookie Card

Tuesday, January 12th, 2010

Was out cruising tonight, thought I’d stop by one of the local card shops. I normally don’t buy nothin’ in there, I ain’t stupid.

Just looked around, wanted to survey if anything was undervalued. Lo and behold I see this:

Josh McDaniels Rookie CardThat’s right, the rare Josh McDaniels rookie card.

Told the guy it was a card of my cousin from Ohio and I traded him nothing less than a pack of cigarettes for it.

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Categories : Broncos News
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Brandon Marshall will be Traded, Lost in RFA or Cut

Tuesday, January 12th, 2010

brandon marshall

Brandon Marshall will not be a Denver Bronco for much longer.

A big part of why I am here is to beat back some of the nonsense, some of the purely moronic, insufficient tact circling the world wide web like turds whipping around the bowl post flush.

We got people hoping the Broncos pay him 50+ million. We got people hoping we sign him to a tender in order to have him back next year. We got people moaning that a first round pick for him ain’t enough compensation.

Forget about “fair compensation,” fair compensation with Marshall is out the window. He is a cancer, he is conduct detrimental to the team personified and for potential suitors, he is a risk.

If the Broncos hang on to Marshall somehow, which I’m confident they won’t, my respect level for the current regime -which I believe is doing the right things and heading in the right direction- will go down the drain. Talk about a mistake.

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A Treatise on Kyle Orton

Sunday, January 10th, 2010

Orton Cutler Comparison

Kyle Orton put up Huckdort-like numbers this year, but without the massive amount of picks. Look at all them game killing, momentum shifting dorts by Hucky, unbelievable – or believable, if you’ve been following my expert analysis. Huckdort is who I’ve said he is all along: A poor man’s Favre. He ain’t no Hall of Famer, that’s for damn sure.

But stats schmats. The hell with stats. Every year is different. For example, Huckdort had great stats (besides the massive amount of game killing dorts) in 2008 with the Broncos. We still ended up 7-9. You hear all this nonsense about how the offense was just spectacular, how it wasn’t broken.  The key to the great stats that year is our defense: it absolutely sucked. You thought it was bad at the end of this year? Not hardly in comparison, the 2008 defense got absolutely shredded with consistency. We relied on Huckdort winging the ball around all overconfident, usually while we were trailing behind on the scoreboard trying to play catch up.  Not to mention we struggled running the ball then as we do now.

The stats appear to look pretty decent for Kyle Orton after this season. But the problems with Kyle Orton, (besides that fact that both him and Huckdort don’t look quite right) the problems are his limitations. First, he is not athletic – a two legged goat may in fact have more pocket evasion skills. Second, his deep throws in the thirty-plus yard range sucked. They sucked because: a) His deep throws float, he can throw far, but not hard. They hang up there like a damn punt. b) The Denver Broncos do not have a blazing, deep threat wide receiver. We have very little speed at this position.

Orton is a Winner

Orton is indeed a game manager who excels at short and mid yardage throws. However, you can win with Kyle Orton, you just gotta do some things.

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The Huckdort Counter Lives On…

Sunday, January 10th, 2010

My buddy Tyrone with his limitless skill just informed me that the Huckdort Counter has been correctly updated to 26 dorts and cryogenically sealed to stand the test of time.

I know some of you people may have been on the verge of tears to see it go away, but it will stay in its very own page for all to see. That reminds me, wasn’t Huckdort the final piece up there in Chicago? Didn’t they have a running game up there last year? Didn’t they have a defense up there too? I heard them Bears were on their way to the Super Bowl once they got Huckdort.

Seems Hucky’s big arm ain’t doing much for that running game is it? Blaming our running woes on Moreno and Orton… what a joke. I told you people I will eat my hat if we ain’t in the playoffs next year. I’ll get the knife and fork ready if we don’t have a new starting guard and center. I hear people talking up that Kuper. I’m not impressed. I don’t care what he’s done in the past, not impressed at all when you get picked up and thrown like a ragdoll.

My next truly awe inspiring posting will be an epic Treatise on Kyle Orton.

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Sharpe a 2010 Hall Finalist, and He Better Get In

Saturday, January 9th, 2010
Shannon Sharpe Hall of Fame

Sharpe blows past Urlacher

Shannon Sharpe should have been a first ballot Hall of Famer.

Instead, we get some old coot owner in there who sucks. That was a joke. That should have been Sharpe’s spot. Owners shouldn’t be allowed in the Hall anyways. Ought to take their busts and throw them in the swamp.

They should leave it for the guys who actually played and bled on the damn field. They’re taking up valuable spots with them owners. Maybe they could give these owners their own little wing that’s separate from everything else?

The new ring of owners in Canton, that everyone and their brother will pass by to get to the good stuff.

Ain’t it nice to have someone around who can actually spell words?

Categories : Broncos News
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Shanahan’s Bid for Turner Gets Denied

Saturday, January 9th, 2010

Shanahan already trying to sandbag and pilfer from us eh? What a joke, enjoy that team and that owner. He ain’t no Bowlen thats for damn sure. Only thing I got against Bowlen is the brown suits. Who the hell wears a brown suit?  Good to see McDaniels and Co. won’t play his game. Maybe Shanny will do us a favor and take some of these weak Broncos fans off our hands now that Chicago isn’t such a glowing option.

Categories : Broncos News
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