Archive for May, 2010

R.I.P. Ronnie James Dio

Monday, May 17th, 2010

A legend of metal, the great Ronnie James Dio passed away yesterday at 67 due to stomach cancer. He was the man who replaced Ozzy Osbourne in Black Sabbath after the Oz man went on an off the wall bender too many. He then went on to form Dio which led to a career in metal music spanning nearly three decades.

I’d like to ask you all to take a moment of silence, tip your forty, then proceed fire up Holy Diver.

Smoke’em if you got’em.

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McChesney to Meet Mayor McCheese

Monday, May 17th, 2010

Unbelievable.

matt mcchesney broncos

What the hell is going on in Denver?

Clady comes up gimpy legged playing basketball, now you got this Matt McChesney getting blown up by a damn golf cart.

I’m getting sick and tired of hearing about Broncos players getting played by activities unrelated to football.

Golf? Look up what George Carlin had to say about that “sport,” truer words never spoken.

Oh well, what was he second, or third string? Oh well.

One day playing in the NFL–the next day flipping burgers at McDonalds.

All cause of a golf cart. Brilliant.

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Want a 4-12 Season? Trade Orton

Wednesday, May 12th, 2010

At best, McDaniels deludes himself if he thinks Orton has the stuff to hold off challenges from Brady Quinn and Tebow. – The Great Mark Kiszla

Did you know that Chris Simms has a better NFL record than Brady Quinn? Hell, he’s even been in a playoff game.

Numbnuts and Kiszla are turning the Denver Post Broncos page into the laughing stock of the league.

“If Orton’s under center…”

Sounds like they’re already conceding Orton will be under center for the first game. It’s all politics and they’re trying to destroy Orton over there, trying to get the fans to hate him. I bet Orton did the right thing, he probably gave Paige the pizza delivery boy’s number when he asked to text him. If you follow the venom trail, that Numbnuts has been ripping Orton since before last preseason, claiming he don’t know what’s going on and throwing floaters out into the stands left and right.

Unbelievable, you’ve got 6,000 strong bona fide sea cucumbers over there being led to their demise by the pied piper, the moronic cucumber general Numby. Six thousand moronic, degenerative sea cucumbers being led right to slaughter at a sushi joint. Two thousand are probably Gator fans who don’t know the team and who blindly think this Numbnuts over there is a reputable source of information. They pasted that “should Orton be traded poll” right smack dab in the middle of a story about Tebow’s mother–as if being placed on the right hand column wasn’t enough.

In order to be the man, you’ve gotta beat the man. Nah, none of this BS trade Orton –the one battle tested QB we have– trade him before any competition really starts because the others “look good,” or “maybe they’ll get the job done.”

Fast forward to September, you people out there gonna be jumping up and down if we start Brady Quinn at Jacksonville? 3-9 record as a starter, 52.1 completion rating? We don’t even know if this guy has anything.

“He looks the part.”

Obviously, “McDaniels deludes himself if he thinks Orton has the stuff to hold off challenges from Brady Quinn.”

How about Tebow? “He’s supremely confident,” they say. Oh yeah? What would that matter if he’s out there confidently getting picked off? The burden of proof lies on these thoroughly unproven QB’s–whteher they are even worthy to play–and Numby would have us simply hand over the starting job to one of them no questions asked.

Trade Orton? Maybe Numby would be happy since we really could make 4 and 12 a reality this year.

Categories : Broncos News
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Trade Kyle Orton: Dumb and Dumber

Monday, May 10th, 2010

I notice some, if not many of you people out there online are behind the wonderful ideas to trade away Kyle Orton.

What an absolute joke.

Let’s trade away our one battle tested quarterback.

Brady Quinn hasn’t done much of anything in this league. We don’t even know if he can play. Yet because “the Broncos like him,” I expect he’ll put up herculean numbers?

Just like Tebow, Brady Quinn has everything to prove, his play in Cleveland left something to be desired and that’s for damn sure.

Tim Tebow’s NFL statistics are zip, zero, zilch. Goose eggs across the board, this guy hasn’t even taken one NFL snap.

Yet the prevailing wisdom at the Post is trade Orton now, evidenced by the goobers themselves:

Trade Kyle OrtonUnbelievable, talk about a trove of sea cucumbers bereft of even a modicum of mental acuity.

Politics I say, Orton probably never returned that Paige and Kiszla’s texts. I don’t blame him one bit either, the hell with these spinsters and snake oil salesmen pontificating a bunch of crap. You’ve got Dumb and Dumber over there making zero sense, and these hype-ridden rubes are agreeing with it. Orton isn’t a good interview, his story won’t stabilize Sunday subscription rates.

Brady Quinn’s NFL Record: 3 Wins, 9 Losses, Completion Percentage 52.1%, Passer Rating 66.4%

Tim Tebow’s NFL Record: 0,0,0,0

Yeah you’re gonna look me in the eye, you’re gonna be serious and say let’s trade the 14th rated QB in the league last year–3802 yards, 86.8 rating, 21 TD’s 12 picks–first year in a complex system, we’re gonna trade him away months before preseason, because maybe one of these boys pans out?

You’ve got to be kidding me. This team, this offense was dead, dead without Orton last year. Wasn’t all his fault we sucked running the ball when it counted, when the defense couldn’t make a play. Mediocre huh Numbnuts? How about your golden boy Simms who was surely the starter. What an absolute laugh that was, and is.

Mark my words, mark my words. I guarantee if we trade Orton away now, this will be the “prevailing wisdom” at season’s end:

Kyle Orton Finger

Categories : Broncos News
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Alert: Tebow At Walmart

Sunday, May 9th, 2010

ALERT: P.P. just got a call from a reputable source claiming Timmy “The Gadget” Tebow is currently buying a video game in the Walmart Supercenter on West Colfax Ave. in Lakewood, CO. Better get there quick you rubes, bring your jerseys and rookie cards.

Categories : Uncategorized
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Trade Kyle Orton? Yeah Right

Sunday, May 9th, 2010

So I see that Numbnuts at the Post is calling for Kyle Orton to be traded, along with that Kiszla.

Woody Paige

Numby

Bunch of geniuses at the Post, oh they must sound like modern day Socrates around that water cooler.

To themselves.

And a bunch of rubes.

Let’s examine this logic:

A) Hand the reins of your football team to a guy who’s NFL record absolutely sucks.

B) Hand the reins to a 100% unproven rookie who “seems” like Tom Brady in practice and off the field.

Are you kidding me? This team was dead without Orton last year.

He’s not going to win a popularity contest, but he’s proven, he’s reliable.

He’s not the only reason for that 8 loss slump, the blame went around, the porous offensive line, the worn down defensive line. 4th and 10 in the Raiders game, 3rd and 25 in the Eagles game, make a play and we’re 10 and 6.

But oh no, just like Chris Simms supposedly “outperformed” Kyle Orton in practice, Brady Quinn and Tim Tebow have magically done the same in the realm of public opinion.

It’s opinion that Quinn could take over Orton’s starting job, it’s opinion that Tebow is the second coming of John Elway.

It’s fact that Kyle Orton can at least win games in the NFL. Something Tim Tebow’s never done, something Brady Quinn has sucked at.

Yeah just trade him away because opinions are the competition will surpass him.

Brady Quinn’s NFL record = Sucks.

Tim Tebow’s NFL record = Goose Egg.

Before a down of preseason football has been played, let’s trade away our one steady, proven commodity at QB.

Sheer genius I suppose. What are we gonna get for him? A fourth rounder in next year’s draft? That will help us win games, won’t it?

If the Broncos had been so enamored with Orton after the last so-so season, they wouldn’t have first acquired Quinn and then drafted Tebow.

We needed a backup quarterback, hence acquiring Brady Quinn for what? A player that we never played and a couple late round dime-a-dozen picks?

And that Tebow’s only a maybe, a possibility.

Let’s get this straight: I don’t hate Tebow. I don’t think he will be a starting NFL quarterback. I think he could become the best Wild Horses (wildcat) player in the league. Calling this guy John Elway 2.0 because he “seems like him when he walks in a room” or “prepares like him” or whatever is a joke. He’s done nothing in the NFL. Not even a preseason game. He may never be a franchise quarterback. The expectations for a player who’s never played in a NFL game, preseason or otherwise are ridiculous.

If Tebow starts and we win a Super Bowl with him, fine. Great. I don’t think he will start, not as a quarterback outside Wild Horses.

Trading Orton, our one proven QB who has performed on Sundays so McDaniels can “have more time to train the wholly unproven players,” is bereft of even a modicum of common sense and or tact.

If Broncomaniacs booed Orton a year ago for not being Cutler, think of the grief he will endure for delaying the start of Tebow time.

If Orton is under center when the Broncos break the huddle, it might be the first time in NFL history the crowd loudly chants its demand for the visiting team to make a change at quarterback.

If Numbnuts is Jon Stewart, then this Kiszla is Stephen Colbert. What a joke, what a laugh. We’re going to base our decision on who starts at QB, we’re gonna base that on fan reaction? Are you serious? Better start Timmy Teebs because Orton threw his first pick three games in?

I’m telling you people, there probably won’t be a quarterback controversy this year, but there will be at the Post: They’ll make sure of it. Nothing sells papers like a good ol’ QB controversy.

You’ve got to be a grade A ignoramus, stooge, moron, idiot to base starting a player on media cheerleading and a few misaligned, misshapen goobers booing in the stands.

Same goobers that booed Orton last year I bet, eh? Some geniuses they were. Who’d they want to start, Brandstater? It obviously couldn’t be Simms… Or was it? Or maybe they all just jumped ship after that Chicago preseason game when Jay Huckdort Cutler looked like John Elway 2.0 for a few minutes. Sent a tingle up Numby’s spine I bet that one did.

woody paige

Simms is the starter

Weak, fickle. Never seen so much weakness and fickle minds just blowing around, void of reality. Losers selling their tickets to Raiders and Steeler fans. Goonballs at the city’s newspaper offering up lame ideas left and right, sheep bobbing their heads agreeing with it all. Unbelievable, some of you people are just lapping their distortions right up like a bunch of moronic sea cucumbers. That Krieger claiming the Dolphins made out like bandits in the Marshall deal the day after it, Denver got rooked–what a joke. These people aren’t even serious half the time, more than half the time. Just clowns stirring the pot.

In other news, I see that Ronald Fields got busted for a unlawful weapons charge, whatever. That ain’t so horrible, but you have to get your crap squared away, get a permit. I extol the Second Amendment, can’t fault him too much for wanting to protect himself, but Fields should know better.

Get a permit, and you can be like P.P.–I ain’t no easy win, and that’s for damn sure.

Categories : Broncos News
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Kyle Orton: No Respect

Thursday, May 6th, 2010

Seeing a lot of disrespect being thrown at the main reason the Broncos managed to go 8 and 8 last year. Could’ve been 10 and 6 had we made a play on Jamarcus Russell 4th and 10 plus 3rd and 25 against Donovan McNabb–couldn’t make a play and that wasn’t because of mediocre quarterback play.

Numby at the Post wanted to trade away Orton for Tebow pre-draft, now we got people claiming we should trade Orton to Minnesota.

I suppose that’s genius, let’s see, we’ll trade away the one guy who saved us from being DEAD in the WATER all last year. We really would have been 4 and 12, hell probably 2 and 14 last year if Orton went down for the whole season.

kyle Orton

Who knows what the hell Brady Quinn will do? He’s not assured the starting job just because he’s “gotten better accuracy in practice.”

Quinn’s got a lot to prove this preseason, we’ll see, the jury is out.

Now Tebow, some of you people can’t be serious. We’ve got a guy here who’s expected to be a 2-3 year project QB who MAY or MAY NOT even become a starting NFL quarterback. You’ve got two thirds of the pundits out there saying he’ll never be a starting quarterback. You’ve got Mike Shanahan–who likes Tebow–admitting he’d put him on special teams so he doesn’t rot on the bench.

Yet this guy, this rookie is just going waltz right in–no matter if the system takes three years to get comfortable with–in three months he’ll go from rookie project running man wildcatter to starting quarterback? Good luck.

My position is that of reason. I am reasonable unlike some of you people. You’re expectations are too high. This Tebow can be an excellent player for us in the wildcat, worthy of the first round pick being that weapon for us alone.

I believe McDaniels saw a person of good character, an exceptional athlete and a football player who could do a lot of things–especially in Wild Horses and someone who has the remote chance of “possibly” being a starting quarterback somewhere down the line. The starting quarterback thing is a maybe, it’s only a possibility. The first pick in the draft Sam Bradford isn’t even immune to not even working out in the end.

Ten steps ahead of this Numby’s game. Talking up Mr. Popularity Tebow left and right,  trying desperately to get Elway to meet him. Numby claims Orton doesn’t care about Elway.

Elway (supposedly) wasn’t friendly with Josh McDaniels either.

Let’s see:

John Elway one of the greatest if not the greatest QB ever? Check.

John Elway’s opinion not mattering one bit these days? Check.

Who the hell cares even if it was true? When did Elway retire, 1998?

Go ahead you rubes, follow that Numby snake oil salesman. He thinks Tebow will be a bona fide John Elway 2.0 because he “talked to him and he just has that aura.”

My track record up against Numby’s? His sucks. It absolutely sucks.

All this year we’re going to hear Numby bellyaching about how awful McDaniels is for not starting Tebow day one. Orton, or Quinn for that matter will have one sub-par outing and that lapping green tongued drunkard Numbnuts will be yodeling Tebow into the hills like a bumbling sot fresh off a nigh-hallucinogenic Mad Dog 20/20 bender. If there isn’t a quarterback controversy in Denver this year, Numby will see to it that there is one–and loudly. Tebow’s a better story, a better interview, he sells papers.

Woody Paige

Numby

You wonder why this Numby gushed over the pick?

Categories : Broncos News
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ALERT: Tim Tebow at IHOP

Tuesday, May 4th, 2010

TEBOW SPOTTED AT IHOP

BREAKING: PP Dublinski has learned Broncos “Pocket Passer” of the future, the legendary Timmy Tebow has been spotted at the International House of Pancakes in Aurora, Colorado! Go there now all you rubes with your mini helmets and jerseys. Better carpool because there ain’t enough parking spots open for a ton of goobers to muck up the joint. Maybe, just maybe his fake girlfriend is there too.

In other news: Supposedly the Jaguars were interested in trading for Brady Quinn. Good luck with that, they’re looking at trying to acquire the only real competition for Orton’s starting job in the foreseeable future. Not happening.

Categories : Broncos News
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