Archive for June, 2010

Alert: Tebow Spotted at Six Flags Amusement Park

Friday, June 25th, 2010

Woody Paige Tim Tebow

Listen up all you rubes, I’ve been informed that Timmy “the Gadget” Tebow was just spotted on the Shipwreck Falls ride at Elitch Gardens. Get in your cars and get down there right this minute, maybe you can get your mini helmets and drink coasters signed. Don’t drive too fast now, don’t want to get a ticket for trying to catch Timmy Teebs. Park security claims there is some “gooned out fool” hanging off the back of the ride who is “desperately trying to call John Elway on his cellphone.”

Wouldn’t surprise me at all if the goober hanging off the back turned out to be that Numby, or should I say, “Mr. Objectivity,” at the Denver Post.

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Josh McDaniels Will Be Judged by Winning, Not Tebow

Sunday, June 20th, 2010

I happened to read something ridiculous from that Numby over at the Denver Post. It was so stupid I’m not even going to link it. It’s a notion also shared by some people out there who believe the future of the franchise is absolutely, positively Tebow at starting quarterback, or bust.

Some of you people are forgetting our true first round pick this year was Demaryius Thomas. Tebow was picked mostly with house money and the jostling of the picks was brilliant. Yes I was pissed off when they picked Tebow that high, but I was momentarily caught up in the media-fed hype claiming the Broncos would pick Tebow as the bona fide “future of the franchise” at quarterback.

I quickly came to my senses and realized they picked him for utility and third downs first, possible quarterback second. I happen to believe that Belichick wanted him, that’s probably why we picked him there. Belichik was probably planning on using Tebow with Tom Brady in the shotgun on third downs.

I happen to believe it was a sordid game of pupil vs. master, McDaniels traded picks with Belichick who surely didn’t think the Broncos would take Tebow that high (22) and also didn’t see the leapfrog back into the first round coming. The price for Tebow seemed high, but after the smoke cleared we essentially traded a second rounder for a first, and gained a third.

Numby at the Post claims Tebow better be a decent quarterback, or else he was a “wasted pick,” and McDaniels will lose his job.

I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again: If teams need to game plan for Tebow, it was a very good pick. It was a great pick if Tebow helps in areas we struggled with last year, third downs (when it counted) and the red zone.

You think it’s the coach’s ass if we go 11 and 5 this year with Orton? You think we’re gonna send the coach packing if we go 10 and 6 and two games deep into the playoffs this year with Orton or Quinn? Next year even? Oh, I suppose we’ll just kick McDaniels to the curb because “Tebow isn’t starting?”

What a joke, what a disgrace. Sick and tired of his flailing logic and his oddly shaped head that most assuredly gives off a foul odor. You can’t look like that Numby and not give off a foul odor, I wasn’t born yesterday.


Conduct detrimental to the team, trying to get our starting quarterback canned, unbelievable.

Tebow may never be a starting caliber NFL quarterback. He doesn’t have to be that and it wasn’t a wasted pick if he’s dynamite in that Wild Horses, goal line and short yardage. He’s not a wasted pick if he’s helping us win games.

Hell, let’s imagine after this year the coach feels Orton hit his ceiling, Quinn isn’t the answer and Tebow still ain’t ready as starter (and may never be). We could bring someone new in and that could be the guy. Draft, trade or free agency. It ain’t just Tebow or bust.

The longevity of our coach will be judged by winning games, not by “who’s starting.” I suppose if you’re in that Numby’s insane sea cucumber state of mind then you’re not even looking forward to this season. You’re not looking forward to it because 1. Tebow isn’t starting so the Broncos will surely go 8-8, and 2. The Broncos don’t play the Redskins this year, so the big showdown that Numby’s wetting his pants over is a few years off.

I want that Numby fired, conduct detrimental to the team left and right and that Kiszla should go with him. Floating that fake quarterback trade, manipulating masses of sea cucumbers who rely on that rag for Broncos information. You people who pay money for that Denver Post Broncos section should feel duped and juked. Duped, juked and downright insulted. That Numby and his cronies will lead you right into a ditch, the pie-eyed piper of sea cucumbers will lead them poor mollusks right into a sushi knife. The only reason that rag’s got its head above water is the collapse of the Rocky Mountain News, it’s not because of someone’s crazy old uncle who is perennially wrong.

Woody Paige Numby

Trade Orton NOW!

The only one you can trust on the Broncos page these days is that Lindsay Jones, at least she reports facts and what she actually sees, not a bunch of lies and distortions. That ramshackle rag is churning out a bunch of BS left and right, now it’s lies and distortions surrounding the Dumervil contract.

Nothing much to see there, we should pay him a very hefty sum, but if Dumervil wants the world–then he can walk. We’re not going to make him the highest paid defender in football. He’s a bona fide sack master out there and a class act, but he don’t do enough against the run.

By the way, bought a pack of football cards just for the hell of it, 2010 Prestige. “Prestige” alright, Prestige my ass, got a rookie card of “Chris McGaha,” –you’ve gotta be kidding me. Chris McGaha? Some goober who went undrafted, talk about a ripoff, they shouldn’t be allowed to put the likes of a Chris McGaha in there. They’re a disgrace that Prestige 2010 Football, and I surely will not buy another pack. I will also scribe a letter to the company stating my incredibly high dissatisfaction with the product, that the product sucks, that the design of the cards is boring and bland. The product sucks and those people have no right, they have no right and some balls to charge actual money for the great Chris McGaha’s rookie card.

Chris McGaha Prestige Rookie

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Kyle Orton Named Starter and Tebow will be Running

Monday, June 14th, 2010

Now that the Denver Post’s false crusade to “trade Orton now” has lost a bunch of wind, our hard working no-nonsense beer drinking quarterback is the starter (the guy we were supposed to trade to make room for the golden boys Brandstater, Quinn and Tebow.)

Kyle Orton Winner

You people out there will respect me. My insight is masterful, my aim is true and my wisdom is second to none, especially when you put me up against the majority of those goobers at the Denver Post floating their false BS to “get people talking.” Instead of respecting me and my divine providence, some of you people turn and heap praise on an illiterate weirdo who wants to trade all our draft picks for the top pick each year; a goober who gets ants in his pants over the likes of a “Corey Boyd.”

No surprise Orton was named starter, however something very interesting is the fact that McDaniels plans on keeping only two quarterbacks active on game days.

National Football Post: According to Broncos coach Josh McDaniels, having three quarterbacks could “put us behind the eight ball at other spots.”

That likely means that either Brady Quinn or rookie Tim Tebow will be inactive with Kyle Orton currently expected to hold onto his starting job.

In light of this, I believe there’s a few scenarios here.

Towards the end of the preseason, if Brady Quinn is perceived to be the “inactive” quarterback–he’s gone. We’ll trade him somewhere, Jacksonville or wherever. Despite what Numby thinks we didn’t give up anything major to get Quinn anyways.

Tim Tebow won’t be the inactive quarterback, I could only see it happening for a couple weeks here and there, maybe if we don’t want to trot out Wild Horses one week for some reason.

But there’s a third scenario I haven’t seen practically anyone bring up yet. It is a scenario that I believe is most probable: Orton the starter, Quinn the backup and Tim Tebow listed as a Running Back.

Oh yeah, he’s gonna be running this year more than he passes, so designate him something other than a quarterback and there you go.

Third QB Wiki: Provided that a club has two quarterbacks on its 45-player Active List, a third quarterback from its Inactive List is permitted to dress for the game, but if he enters the game during the first three quarters, the other two quarterbacks are thereafter prohibited from playing. Although it is not specifically indicated, the NFL has interpreted its rule to mean that in order to designate a third quarterback, the two on the active roster must both be “bona fide” quarterbacks, not other position players merely designated as quarterbacks

Tom Tupa was a punter and an emergency quarterback. Receiver Rod Smith was Denver’s emergency quarterback for many years. I believe our coach McDaniels is the reincarnation of the great Sun Tzu, and he’ll surely find a way to circumvent the third quarterback rule.

Designate Tebow a running back, and name him the emergency quarterback.

It could happen, either that or Brady Quinn is gone and we sign some schlub to be inactive.

Tebow Broncos

You know the Tebow who said “I’ll do whatever they ask of me,” the very same Tebow who stated “They asked me to do certain things and I did them,” the Tebow who was seen throwing to the running backs in the end zone, running the ball control drill with the RB’s…

The latest from Lindsay Jones Twitter: 6/12 We just saw a designed run play for Tim Tebow for the first time in minicamp. Lots of “atta boy” reax from coaches when it worked.
6/13 Tebow came in for one snap, a designed run. Quinn 1-for-3 in his reps, w/ 2 deep incompletions.

I knew he’d be running, but oh no some of you people think he’ll be the day one starter at QB. Oh he’ll just come right in and light up the league with a towel under his right arm, trade Orton now!

He’s gonna be running more than he passes. You wonder why Belichick wanted him? You wonder why all kinds of rumors about New England taking Tebow surfaced back in January? They have Tom Brady. The Colts have Peyton Manning, but Manning even wanted to bring in Tebow for short yardage situations.

Astute New England observers realized Tebow could help them out in short yardage situations. Line up Tebow next to Brady in the shotgun formation, are they gonna snap it to Tebow or Brady? QB option? flea flicker? Possible nightmare scenarios for defenses, this is what will make Tebow a good pick, he can do a lot for us out there alongside Orton, or Quinn.

Tebow the “pocket passer” is a dream. It’s an “if” it’s a “maybe” it’s a possibility somewhere down the line and it may never happen. “Pocket Passer” is part B of the reason I believe we drafted him besides his work ethic and leadership. Part A is Tebow the “Gadget” player, I don’t use that moniker lightly, the utility player that defenses will have to spend extra time game planning for.

Woody Paige Numby

Trade Orton NOW!

I’ll give you a scenario that would make that propaganda spewing, Orton-hating Numby at the Post regurgitate his Rocky Mountain oysters: Tim Tebow could help make Kyle Orton a great quarterback.

Orton Broncos Winner

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Messages from Horvil Tiki

Thursday, June 10th, 2010

When that Panff sent me a letter from that Tiki to post I said no, I ain’t sitting around wasting time deciphering that chicken scratch. But Panff got around to translating so it took about two seconds to copy/paste them–that’s more like it. So here you go:

Hey guy, what go on. Who we gon draft I think it will be the namdoki sun. That guy is the for real defence lineman yes. I saw the espn things of the combined practice and this guy is for real holmes. He is hoge giant defence lineman guy. I think we should packager all the picks guy, all of them like the ditka do for that run back guy. Packer all of them for the namdokan sun. I see the drill he do oh snap guy that was mess up they have has all guys smash into bag and he was like POW he say POW and they bag almost snap in two I seen it guy. Guy was probable like holme you know this is pactice right guy you not have to snap bag in half all crazy like. They showed other guy smash bag and they not even smash they was like peh peh they was like peh it was so corny they at the bag but the sun guy was all crazy he for real guy I know he is. They say he no even have to go there but he did. Grandfather is doing beter he get around now after off dalysis that is cool. I have no compter here guy my aunt no have this that is real foul. She have tv but it get corny station real corny station it manure so badly. Sport bar have espn some time so that is cool. I hear site is all mess up I hope you will have the backed up site save yes.

Yaddah yaddah, whatever, on to the next one…

Hey guy, what go on. Grandfather have go back in hospital he not cool again that is foul. We get the Tebone guy is that for real. I know it have to be real. That is crazy guy I seen he in college video and he mash guy up run over and through. They say he have the mad crazy hand arm coordinats the combine thing he went crazy there. He run over guy so badly but he quart back what give. Dont they have quart back slide. Will he slide. They say he mechanical is all mess up what give with that. I bet the Mcdanels can fix this he (holio?) quarter back coach. Tebone hand arm coordinat of with fabulous wheel contender speed.

They have crazy party on beach it bright spot of real boaring island. Island is cool when at first then it get real boaring guy. But this radio place have beach party thing and met this real fine girl there. Real fine. I bet bronco cheerleads would like this beach yes. Sit out all day on sand in string bikini paradise. I met girl she real fine at party we go back to aunt house in basement of aunt house. Aunt say I was is real nasty she say I real nasty and foul to do this she kick out for many day so I go stayed into town where near pork barbcue guy is. Girl give me addess of house where she lived but I keep go there and cant find it guy.

Well there you go, insane, outdated information from some gooned out goober.

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Broncos Release Tom Brandstater

Friday, June 4th, 2010

Farewell Tommy B. we hardly knew ye.

No surprise there.

Puts a ding in the hopes of some of these goobers pushing the fake “Kyle Orton trade.”

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Numby’s Being Nice

Thursday, June 3rd, 2010

Slow news week, I see that Numby at the Denver Post heaping all kinds of praise on McDaniels. He must want something, that’s gotta be it.

This coming from a guy who supposedly got sick to his stomach over the “hoody” and claimed McDaniels wasn’t his own man. He also put forth the question whether “the wrong coach left town,” when Nolan left in January.

Remember all the commotion when Nolan left? Bunch of goobers claiming the defense is doomed.

Not me, I know it’s mainly the system and the players–and we’ll be fine.

Now all of a sudden Numby claims we should have a top ten defense with our good defensive signings this year.

Plus, he now says McDaniels will be a Super Bowl-winning coach that will be around for a lot of years.

Something don’t smell right.

I say it’s the calm before the storm. Pretty soon he’ll probably start ranting every week about how Tebow should be starting and getting more snaps. You watch, this team will look improved in the preseason and Numby will say the Broncos will go 7-9 “because Orton’s the starter.”

Oh wait, that’s right he already predicted 8-8 in January.

I hear that Bill Williamson over at ESPN says he’ll be shocked if McDaniels doesn’t make Tebow the Day 1 starter in 2010. Well get ready Mr. Williamson, hopefully you won’t have a knockwurst sandwich dangling in your trap when the jolt comes.

Talk about Mr. Irrelevant, this Williamson is a fine example of lazy journalism. His opinions of the AFC West division are a joke. He thinks the Broncos will be way down with the Chiefs in the standings this year, while Oakland will push San Diego for the title–supposedly because of their awe inspiring acquisition of the great Jason Campbell.

The Broncos should be well improved this year, doesn’t take a genius to see that with our acquisitions. The only thing I’m pissed about right now is the offensive line injuries, if the Broncos are talking to Flozell Adams, then you know they’re worried about the situation.

Mr. Williamson responded to a recent question about Tebow with: ” Dude is a beast. 6-3, 240. benched 225 pounds 38 times at the combine.”

Sorry Billy-Bo, Tebow didn’t even bench at the combine.

The guy is a lame-duck misspelling freak over there at ESPN.

To all these journalists like Williamson who think Tebow will automatically be the starting QB next year “because they obviously drafted him to play,” –well he certainly will be playing, and he will play this year.

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