Archive for November, 2010

the Elephant Gonad Curse of Charger

Friday, November 19th, 2010

hey guy what go on. Dung beetle curse work on chef. Real good like yes. Now elehpant gonad curse on the charger yes. Grandfather say dont put make picture of the elephant gonad curse.

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The Misfit Bowl Results

Friday, November 19th, 2010

The Huckdort House of Pain Counter goes up a little–unbelievable the luck of that Huckdort this year. He should have many more Dorts, but don’t you worry, Huck’s schedule is getting much tougher now. Gone are the weeks of garbage teams and inept defensive backs, the Bears will be exposed big time in the coming weeks. I predict the Bears will lose five games out of their next six and I see 10 more Dorts, 10 more sacks and 4 more fumbles for the great Jay Huckdort Cutler.

The Brandon Marshall Meltdown Meter rises after the undisciplined receiver once again chucked the ball for a 15 yard penalty, he managed a stupid illegal block in the back penalty and he finally left the game with a hamstring injury. Totally undisciplined, Marshall’s Meltdown slowly reaches for critical mass. I need not remind you people that around this time last year, a certain Denver post columnist, a certain ineffable genius was begging the front office to pay this Marshall clown 50 million plus. Other geniuses had Marshall returning to the team this year–sorry but you’d have to be so blind to even imagine that scenario. Blinded by a post-game hug I suppose. Thanks again for the two second rounders Miami.

NFL Network’s Stupid List

In other news, granted it’s a little late but it’s something I thought was stupid and I didn’t really follow it in the first place.  Some pencil pushing poindexters over at the NFL Network ranked John Elway 23rd in their list of the “100 Greatest Football Players.”

Peyton Manning, Tom “Goldilocks” Brady, Brett Favre and Joe Montana were all rated above John Elway.

Now are we talking football players? Or are we talking achievements?

I thought it said football players.

This is an absolute joke. Tom Brady? Peyton Manning? Brett “I-stayed-t00-long-to-break-records” Favre… Hell I’d even question Joe Montana.

Take any one of those quarterbacks. Any one of them. Now put any one of those quarterbacks on the Denver teams that reached the Superbowl in the 1980’s.

Not one of those quarterbacks take those Denver teams to the Superbowl. Not one. Horrible offensive line, terrible running game, thoroughly mediocre receivers–forget it. None of  these quarterbacks could take those teams to the Superbowl, no way, no how.

I’d wager that Peyton Manning, or that Tom Brady would be concussed by week three and placed on injured reserve by week six on those Broncos teams.

Now, take John Elway and put him on the New England Superbowl teams, put him on the Packers, 49ers and the Colts Superbowl teams. Would any of those teams miss a beat? Would any of those teams be hampered by John Elway at quarterback? No way, no how. We all saw what John Elway finally did with a good team.

John Elway is the closest thing we’ll probably ever see to the “one man gang” out there–just ask Marty Schottenheimer about that one. Are we talking football players? Or are we talking stats, rings and achievements?

I was under the impression it was the top 100 football players, period.

NFL Network, you can take that list, fold it up real good, wipe your ass with it and throw the brown stinking bile soaked mess into the woods. Throw it in the woods–it sucks, it absolutely sucks.

Jerry Rice number one? Yeah he’s a complete player. Somewhere along the way the NFL Network turned the greatest football players list into the greatest stats and achievements. A bunch of pencil necked poindexters pouring over a bunch of stats will always muck things up.

P.P.’s number one football player? That’s easy. Walter Payton. A complete player  too. He ran over people, he rand around them, he blocked and hell he even threw. A class individual on top of all that: That’s a complete football player.

They can take their little list, wipe their ass with it, and throw it in the woods. That’s about all it’s good for.

Categories : Broncos News
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The Misfit Bowl Tonight – Bears vs. Dolphins

Thursday, November 18th, 2010

This could very well be the game of the year tonight, the land of misfit losers: Jay “Huckdort” Cutler and Brandon “They’re not getting the ball to me enough” Marshall. Set your DVR’s for this one folks, it could be laugh a minute entertainment.

Jay Huckdort Cutler

"Beelb?"

What to watch for tonight:

Hucky Jay: If Huckdort isn’t throwing picks he’s probably getting sacked or fumbling. When it’s third and long or when the Bears are nearing the end zone it’s Dort central. Look for him to throw dorts at the worst possible moments, also known as the ” Timely Dort.”

BRANDON MARSHALL

B. Marsh: Brandon Marshall is coming apart at the seams–even in games the Dolphins are winning. Last week Marshall was penalized for chucking the football in frustration and he also chewed out the quarterback (whoever the hell they have throwing now) multiple times because he ain’t getting the ball enough. Watch for steam emanating from Marshall’s helmet tonight after every ball that doesn’t come his way.

Categories : Broncos News, Huckdort
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Broncos loosed Jarven Moss get Velkune

Wednesday, November 17th, 2010

The broncos loosed the Jarven moss guy. He is no more in the Denver. I sorry it not work out jarven moss. I try to make youtobe video to help he long time ago but it do not work I try every thing to make work the shanhan first round pick guy. Now bronco get Davis Velkune this guy look like warrior of the denver guy yes. The aloha spirit yes. Grandfather will watch this new guy with great anticipidation. For now granfather favorite neew player is the Syd Kon Tomlinson.

veikune

ALOHA SPIRIT

Categories : Broncos News
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Updates to Dort Counter, Marshall Meltdown Meter

Tuesday, November 16th, 2010

You see that Brandon Marshall throwing the football for a penalty and chewing out his quarterback? Even in a winning game this guy is unstable. I suppose they’re not using him right, that tight end Fasano is stealing all his receptions.

Hucky Dorts is on the worst 6 and 3 team in football. Talk about lucky, and talk about a powder puff schedule. Don’t worry the Dort will be exposed when the Bears play a halfway decent team. When the pressure’s on Hucky goes a dortin’, he just can’t help himself.

Categories : Broncos News, Huckdort
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The Canadian Goose Lays a Golden Egg

Monday, November 15th, 2010

Well that’s more like it, good to see the home team win in Denver for once. The running game got going finally, the Canadian Goose at quarterback was accurate, the offense finished drives and the defense played pretty well.

But everything I said last week still stands.

In order for this team to get on my good side I demand a win on the road in San Diego on Monday Night Football, and I demand a win against St. Louis.

Can this team win three in a row? That will be newsworthy.

Otherwise, I’ll rack this one up as an anomaly, just like the Raiders game. I’ll rack it up to grandfather woodchuck or whatever the hell his name is, the grandfather’s curse or whatever. If we don’t win the next two games, consider this Chiefs game an anomaly where everything went the Broncos way for once this season, but not much more than that.

todd haley, josh mcdaniels

Getty Images

P.S. Todd Haley can suck a fat one, that loser. He’s peckered, that one. I hope we go into Kansas City and blow them out again, and really run up the score this time. That’s another reason why my excitement is tempered. The Chiefs ain’t that good.

Categories : Broncos News
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Bronco 49 Chefs 29 the Dung Beetle Cursing

Sunday, November 14th, 2010
chef fan

I is corny

Dung beetle curse on chef guy. Granfather puller out all of they stops. He shooted cermonial pea even to ruin chef kick. Now chef is corny. THey defence backs make look corny and slow. Our guy knowshond morenote run even the spence larsen breaker he runs guy. the zaned beedles is working guy. THe Horton was is crisp. Horton is win today. Bronco must win out from here yes. the jason hunters scoop up run other way. come on darcel mcbaft got to clutch grip ball holmes and pick off to stump enemy team. Dont be corny and drop pick off ball. Bronco is honing it guy/ They hone they game in bye week yes. Break down got to hone and come correct. pad under pad yes keep helmet up keep leg move and through. Wrap and keep leg move through guys yes. THe bronco is honing it guy. Must hone. Many good player this week. The Horton the lloyd the zaned beedle. I know the horton deserve the lloyds deserve but the knowshond morenote was big guy. I cannot beleif our guy run. We run today guy like firs time all year. Holmes was toting rock yes. that how we does it guy. Take you pessure off the horton guy mash defense with runing ball. Morenote say juke, he say juke spin jump and run for frist down many time yes. That was cool guy first 100 yard over game. Holmes say word. He say word the morenote get to he second level yes and juke guy out of sock so badly guy. word. Got to get to three level next week. You is corny chef, take off you is all done granfather dung beetle curse is potent guy. It the potent curse. laugh.

knowshon moreno

Categories : Analyzer, Bronco Wisdom
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DUNG BEETLE CURSE BRONCO 35 CHEF 10 AT HALF TIME YES

Sunday, November 14th, 2010

dung

the dung beetle curse on Chef guy

DUNG BEETLE CURSE IT WORKING GUY. OH YES. OUR GUY IS RUN. WE FINAL RUN GUY I CANNOT BELIEF THIS . IS IT THE ZANED BEEDLES GUY IS IT HE FOR REAL. OUR GUY IS RUNNING.

GRANDFATHER CURSE THE CHEF WITH DUNG BEETLE CURSE. IT WORKING GUY. IT WORK/

KNOWSHOND MORENOTE

OUR GUY IS RUN

GRANFATHER EVEN SHOOT CEREMONAL PEA WHEN GUY TRY TO KICK FEILD GOAL AND THAT WORK TOO. GRANFATHER SAY SHOOF AND HE MAKE LIKE STRAW AND SHOOT PEA WHEN GUY KICK AND HE MISS FEILD GOAL SO BADLY. HOLE FAMILY LAUGH AND LAUGH AT HOW CORNY CHEF IS. WHO IS JOE MAY. THIS GUY IS ALL KIND OF CRAZY.

GRANFATHER IS ROLLING GUY. DUNG BEETLE CURSE/ CHEF IS ALL DONE GUY. WOE BEATED JUKE TO CHEF. NO DIVISONAL WIN FOR CHEF NOW. THAT HOW PBADLY GUY. THAT HOW POTENT OF CURSE YES. TIME FOR BRONCO WIN ALL 8 GAME. THE WIN OUT SEASON YES.

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