Archive for January, 2011

Champ Bailey Won’t Return to Broncos

Sunday, January 30th, 2011

Grandpa Numby

Champ is a class act, he’s one of the best to ever play the game but the Broncos are wise not to give him a new deal.

I think he’ll be playing for Baltimore next year.

It’s good for him and it’s good for the team.

Let Champ go to a contender and let the Broncos free up some money. With the money Champ makes, the Broncos can sign two very decent players.

Champ is getting older and he makes too much money.

It’s time for some of these people to quit living in the past, cut their sentimental ties and move on.

And no, we don’t need to draft a corner with the second pick in the draft to replace Bailey. We don’t need a superstar at corner. We need a superstar on the defensive line.

Pick up a corner in free agency, draft one in the second round. Hell we have what almost amounts to a first round pick with our high second round selection.

When a team needs a quarterback and that team has a top three pick, that team must draft a quarterback. There are no guarantees, none whatsoever that the player selected will become a franchise quarterback. No guarantee you’ll have a Peyton Manning or a Ryan Leaf when all is said and done. The team must take the chance. Same with the Broncos, the Broncos must take a chance on Da’Quan Bowers or Nick Fairley. They must take the chance on a possible franchise defender at the point of attack.

I keep hearing, “Well Dumervil will come back next year, there’s our pass rush…”

To that I say, ” Dumervil is not enough.”

Dumervil wasn’t enough the year before last. Yeah, he had a lot of sacks, but who else did? Who else do the Broncos have that can sack the quarterback with any consistency? No one, zip, zero, zilch–goose egg.

That’s a problem. Even with Dumervil that’s one lineman the opposing quarterback has to worry about. One. Keep track of where that one guy is, and the others? Well, not so much.

If the Broncos picked either Nick Fairley or Da’Quan Bowers and each only sacked the quarterback 9 times per year, that is a more substantial upgrade to this defense than replacing Champ Bailey with a rookie Champ Bailey.

How many interceptions has Bailey had lately? You can avoid a Champ Bailey, a Patrick Peterson. Dumervil on one side of your defensive line, and a disruptive Bowers or Fairley on the other is a nightmare scenario for quarterbacks and it’s just what the Broncos need. I’ve been saying for years we need another pass rushing lineman to complement Dumervil and it hasn’t happened. It hasn’t happened and we’ve watched Jamarcus Russell and other lower tier quarterbacks have a field day on us, not to forget the higher tier ones. You need pressure on the quarterback, look at Huckdort for example. You don’t pressure him and he’ll sit back in the pocket and look like a world beater out there. Once he faces a team capable of pressuring him that’s when the fumbles and forced throws rear their sour Dort head.

Two NFL positions where you don’t need to spend a mint: Cornerback and Wide Receiver.

If for some reason Brandon Lloyd wanted to be one of the highest paid receivers in the NFL, then he can get paid somewhere else.

April is fast approaching and P.P.’s big board has two players on it: Bowers and Fairley. Every other pick, they can do what they want. Although I expect we’ll draft a running back somewhere in the first four rounds, hopefully someone with some size and power for God’s sake.

Categories : Broncos News
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I Broke Jay Huckdort Cutler’s Spirit

Tuesday, January 25th, 2011

As of today, January 25, 2011 I am officially done with Huckdort.

People are wondering why Hucky seemed to give up on his bum knee so easily. No question it was painful, but Tom Jackson made the point that Hucky still had his legs on that last series.

Last Sunday I fully expected a second half showcasing multiple dorts from Jay Huckdort Cutler. Instead of losing the ball, Jay Huckdort Cutler lost something far worse: His spirit.

Huckdort didn’t want to give P.P. Dublinski the satisfaction. The Huck knew he was going to dort. He knew the Season Ending Dort was imminent.

My video recorder was ready, it was ready for the sure dorts in that second half along with my scathing play-by-play commentary. Truths that would forever echo across Youtube and the far reaches of the internet.

Cutler didn’t want to give me the satisfaction. He knew I was correct in predicting the Season Ending Dort. That monumental dort was inevitable, but instead it was relegated to Caleb Hanie.

Hucky mishandled the situation Sunday just like he mishandled other situations in the past–just like he mishandles the football in general.

I got into Huckdort’s brain and in the end my truths were too much for the Huck to handle. He doesn’t look right, doesn’t protect the ball and he’s a poor man’s Favre.

Jay hucks the ball, then Dort–he gets picked off.

I almost… I’m almost to the point I feel sorry for Huckdort.

I have broken his spirit, his very will to play the game.

As of today, I’m done with the Dort.

Categories : Huckdort
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Jay “Huckdort” Cutler Has No Shame

Sunday, January 23rd, 2011

Wimpdort CutlerI speak truths, my word is Iron. My countenance will not be bifurcated, besmirched or censored.

My locks are intact, the virility is unmatched and I often fly in my dreams–a rare and welcome gift indeed.

Can you believe this Dort? I can. I know this Huck doesn’t look right, I know he doesn’t protect the ball and I know he’s nothing but a poor man’s Favre. I knew this well before just about anyone too, September of 2008 I knew we had to get rid of Jay Huckdort Cutler.

He’s no winner, he’s more interested in taking photos for GQ. That strange, gnarled Hucky face gracing the pages of GQ? What an absolute joke.

Could you even fathom, could you even imagine John Elway taking himself out of an AFC Championship game while he can still walk? Elway played the 1991 AFC Championship game with a deep thigh bruise, that is, he played until it locked up so bad he couldn’t walk.  I’ll tell you something: That Huckdort damn well better need a scalpel on his knee, he damn well better have blown a knee. If we’re talking a sprain or a tweak then it’s nothing short of an absolute travesty and they should run his ass right out of Chicago.

Can you believe people still lament the Broncos trading away this Dort? Chicago may never get back to the NFC Championship game and Hucky takes himself out of the game while he can still walk, while he can still ride a bike on the sideline.

I think you people realize what happened here. The Bears played ultra conservative–you see all those runs when they were down on their own 10? The Denver Broncos had an excuse for being conservative in their last three games, they started a rookie QB who hadn’t taken snaps with the first team all year. What is this, Huckdort’s fifth year in the league? A fifth year QB and they’re scared to death to throw the football in a NFC Championship game?

They knew he was going to Dort.

Hucky knew he was going to Dort.

Once they opened up the offense (because they had to) Jay HuckDort Cutler knew he was going to Dort and Dort hard during that second half.

Philip Rivers played an entire AFC Championship game in 2008 with a completely torn ACL.

Hell, John Elway played his entire career without an ACL in his left knee.

That knee of Dort’s better need a scalpel.

No matter, Jay Huckdort Cutler doesn’t look right, doesn’t protect the ball, he ain’t no winner and he’s nothing but a poor man’s Favre.

Categories : Broncos News, Huckdort
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Patrick Peterson Is Not An Option

Saturday, January 22nd, 2011

I went out of town this week and the one time I expected that punk to show up and post some, he couldn’t even manage that. I guess he’s off making some junk tiki to send to Brandon Lloyd. The sad truth is Lloyd will probably take one look at it and throw it in the trash.

I heard that Jeff Legwold at the Denver Post recently wrote an article on how the Broncos need to address their front seven–a week or so after the genius said we should take Patrick Peterson in his mock draft. That’s just great.

I will not stand for any talk of Patrick Peterson. We’ve had our own Patrick Peterson for six years now and this defense sucks. Oh wouldn’t it be great if the Broncos paid out the ass for another shutdown corner? Oh we’ll just rewind the highlight reel of Peterson making two open field tackles and shutting down Dwayne Bowe in a game. Meanwhile the rest of our defensive backs get shredded all game long by a B, C or even D list quarterback with all the time in the world to throw.

The 2011 NFL draft is an opportunity for the Denver Broncos to draft an elite talent on the defensive line. They must take the chance on an elite defensive line prospect with the number two pick in the draft. This is the equivalent of drafting a franchise quarterback on defense. You must take the chance–no player in this draft is a sure thing. I’ll say it’s a tall order for this Patrick Peterson to be the next Champ Bailey, and guess what? So what if he is. We’ve had Champ Bailey for six years and our defense sucks, and has sucked, it sucks.

If  Da’Quan Bowers or Nick Fairley are the Julius Peppers or Richard Seymour of the draft it would be nothing short of inexcusable for us to pass on either of them. Can you imagine how disgraceful it would be to pass on Bowers and he goes off to become the next Julius Peppers? How inexcusable. We need a Champ Bailey on the defensive line. We can do without Patrick Peterson and we can do without Champ Bailey.

Want a cornerback? How about signing Nnamdi Asomugha? Talk about a sure thing? That Asomugha is a sure thing and he’s younger than Bailey. Patrick Peterson is not a sure thing.

Or you can draft a corner in the second round. Andre Goodman is a solid cornerback, pick up another Goodman in free agency. The Denver Broncos have not had a top tier defensive lineman besides Dumervil in years, for a decade for crying out loud.

Sign a free agent or draft a corner in the second round, that is, unless you want to get stuck on stupid and field the same defense every year and expect a different result. Stuck on stupid. How many years has this team struggled to pressure the quarterback? I’m sick and tired of Rivers, Brady, Manning and yes even the great Jamarcus Russell, sick and tired of them shredding the Broncos defense–and oh, by the way we’ve had Champ Bailey playing for us and it didn’t matter jack $^&t.  So what if he took care of one receiver–you notice these no-name fourth and fifth receivers always seem to have big games against the Broncos? Pressure on the quarterback beats a Manning, it beats a Brady and a Rivers. I’m confident Elway knows what stops an Elway–it’s not a corner. Having a Bailey or Peterson (if he’s even that great) out there doesn’t do much if you can’t pressure the quarterback. Teams simply won’t throw to that side and they will decimate the other areas of the field.

I see Patrick Peterson is on a lot of popular mock drafts out there and it’s downright lazy.

” Champ’s leaving so the Broncos need Peterson. ”

I suppose these people haven’t watched the Broncos for the last decade. I suppose they haven’t watched the Broncos in the last five years for that matter.

Elway ought to know, I have confidence in this coach too, this Fox ought to know, pressure on the quarterback is a must. We’re in the position to draft elite defensive line talent and we will do so. We must do so. All this talk of Fairley and Bowers being “too risky” and goobers comparing them to Jarvis Moss and Robert Ayers–what a joke.

Ayers and Moss weren’t nearly the prospects that Bowers and Fairley are. Bowers and Fairley dominated all year and did so against top college talent. What do you want them to do? Go back and dominate in their Senior year? Then they’ll prove themselves worthy? What a joke, these two linemen dominated against top college talent all year and either of them is exactly what the Broncos need on the defensive line.

Sick and tired of hearing how Fairley is a “dirty player.” Oh boo fricken hoo, it’s probably these same mental defectives who got all broken up over the stupid “Spygate II” nonsense. “Oh me oh my, the integrity of the Broncos is in question,”–what a joke. Hell, even the Forty Niners–the very team we “spied” on–they didn’t give a rat’s ass about it. Water off a duck’s back. They wanted to interview McDaniels for a head coaching position this offseason–that’s how broken up the 49er’s were over “Spygate.”

Fairley a dirty player? Good.

For %&$’s sake that’s exactly what we need on that defensive line–you’ve got to be %*&%ing $&&%ing me.

If for some reason, if for some weird reason the Broncos don’t come away with Fairley or Bowers, then they better hope, they better pray that Bowers or Fairley aren’t the equivalent of the next Julius Peppers or Richard Seymour. Talk about a joke. Talk about inexcusable. Talk about being in position to draft an impact player on the d-line possibly for a decade and instead they absolutely screw the pooch. Absolutely flub it beyond comprehension. If they don’t come away with Fairley or Bowers they damn well better drop down just enough to come away with Quinn or Dareus.

No, you take the chance. When you have the chance to draft the equivalent of a franchise quarterback on defense you do it. You don’t overthink, you don’t flub around like a chicken with it’s head cut off and you don’t draft a cornerback in the second spot.

I demand Fairley or Bowers and I believe I will not be left wanting after this draft.

But for now, I’m getting ready for quality comedy tomorrow at 3:00 EST. Huck will be dorting. He knows he wants to Dort. The season ending Dort is upon us. You can’t take the Dort out of Huck.

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If Huckdort Wins This Sunday…

Thursday, January 20th, 2011

I will give myself a Timmy Tebow Friar Tuck haircut.

Tim Tebow Rookie Hazing Broncos

You can’t take the Dort out of Huck.

Categories : Broncos News
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Happy to be a Broncos Fan

Monday, January 17th, 2011

The Patriots, the Falcons…

14 and 2. 13 and 3.

14-2, 13 and 3 and they ain’t going to the Super Bowl?

I’d wager that’s almost a worse predicament than going 4 and 12 and having the second pick in the draft.

Mike McCoy Staying Put

Mike McCoy will be the Broncos offensive coordinator next year. Not a bad thing, he did OK calling the offense in those last couple games this season. The only problem I had with him were on some of those Tebow designed runs, at times they were way too obvious.

Categories : Uncategorized
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Prediction: Packers 31 Bears 14

Monday, January 17th, 2011

Jay “Huckdort” Cutler: 3 Dorts 1 Fumble

Bet the house, the farm and the north 40 on it.

Huck will be dorting.

Categories : Huckdort
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Unbelievable Luck of Huckdort

Sunday, January 16th, 2011

Demented sea cucumbers are coming out of the woodwork, praising Huckdort and lamenting his dismissal from the Denver Broncos.

But Hucky and Co. are a fluke; the product of a soft schedule and incredible luck.

16 picks. It should have been many more. I know because I watch Chicago for entertainment value.

Unbelievable, some of the dorts hit defenders in the hands so perfectly they couldn’t even believe it was happening. My grandmother could have caught the sure picks Hucky threw this season.

Some clown at the Denver Post wanted us to shell out 50 million plus for Huckdort and Brandon Marshall. What a joke. Make no mistake, Hucky’s true nature will be revealed. Hucky is not going to the Super Bowl, he will fold and he will dort in the big game.

I anxiously await the “Season Ending Dort.”

The season ending dort is upon us folks. It could happen today, and if it doesn’t then I know for a fact it will happen next week. How lucky to get the weakest wild card team at home. The Bears are a fluke, they are lucky and Huckdort will crash and burn with the game on the line.

How dare some of these people lament the loss of Hucky D’s.
Once, in his rookie year in Denver, 45 minutes before a game, surefire Hall of Fame safety John Lynch was trying to explain something to Cutler about NFL pass coverage. Except Cutler wasn’t looking at Lynch. He was texting.

“Man, I’m trying to talk to you!” Lynch protested.

Didn’t help. Cutler was all thumbs, head down. Finally, Lynch slapped the phone out of Cutler’s hands, smashing it to the floor.

The three of them sat down at a Denver steak joint. Elway, polite as ever, tried to impart some wisdom. Except Cutler wasn’t looking at Elway. He wasn’t looking at Shanahan, either. He was looking at the TV. The whole time. With his baseball cap on backward. All the way through dessert. Elway did not leave impressed.

Oh yes, don’t you just wish that over confident gooned out pick throwing loser was still in Denver? What a laugh.

The poor man’s Farve will crash and burn, Huck will be dorting and I can’t get enough of it.

Categories : Huckdort
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