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The Denver Broncos Revving Up for Post Season Heartbreak

Monday, October 21st, 2013

I’m glad I’m not one of these rubes who think this team is Super Bowl bound.

The usual suspects...

The usual suspects…

I think some of you people deserve these lackluster Broncos. These underachieving perennial paper-tiger Broncos. I think some of you people just lap it up and beg for more, more mediocrity, setting up for more fallen dingleberries in the ass end of the season.

Unfortunately there are very few disciples of P.P. out there. Very few disciples of P.P. in the Denver press, in the blogosphere.

I am reality and my words are iron. All that I’ve said about this team continues to stand on a rock.

This team can’t run when it counts. It can’t gain hard yardage in a tough spot against decent competition.

This defense ain’t ready for prime time. It faces a balanced attack and it gets smashed.

In other words, not a whole lot has changed in Denver.

Not a whole lot has changed. Just like my words of iron haven’t changed.

I destroyed that Horvil Tiki. Destroyed his will and completely dominated his site. That loser is buying his miniscule time these days in a filthy internet cafe. He’s probably reading this right now and crying.

You know why I haven’t updated in a while? Because I don’t feel like being a broken record. What I’ve said all along stands: The Peyton Manning led Broncos are heading for a heart breaking AFC Championship loss in year three of the Manning project.

Yeah that’s right, that’s next year.

In this preseason I was privately asked whether the Broncos could make a run this year. I said their only very slim ass-crack of a chance is if maybe, just maybe if that Montae Ball is an absolute superstar. He ain’t. Not this year anyways.

You see them clips of Manning practically apologizing for not saying the word “Colts” as of late? Eh? You people like that? You like being led by a Colt?

I don’t.

Someone that will retire a Colt? Bunch of spineless sea cucumbers being led around by a Colt. Bunch of margarita sipping, oyster guzzling, inebriated sea cucumbers rah-rahhing a Colt.

Peyton Manning Forehead

Something ain’t quite right in Denver…

I couldn’t be more detached to this team at present.

Why did I tune in last night?

Because I figured they’d lose this game. And they did. I had a feeling it would be an under-the-radar team with some balance like the Colts who knock the Broncos out of the playoffs early this year. Maybe even the Chiefs, they can run and play defense.

Oh rubes, goobers and pencil neck Broncos cheering buffoons… lend me your ears: You gotta run and play defense in the playoffs to go anywhere.

Especially when it’s going to be sub zero temperatures and you’re gonna try and rely on thirty seven year old fused bones.

Some of you people better hope the Broncos don’t get to the Superbowl. Christ, it’ll be minus ten degrees in the Meadowlands. You better be able to run and play defense.

The Broncos sure as hell can’t do neither. Not in a hard spot.

And oh by the way, how many times did the Colts win a Lombardi trophy with pumpkinhead? They rode ol’ pumpkinhead’s arm for fourteen seasons and only won the big show once.

Once.

Not to mention Manning’s inexcusable penchant for flaming out in the playoffs time and time again.

You see what happens when ol’ pumpkinhead Manning finally gets pressured eh? How about the inability to do jack squat with his legs once a team puts a good rush on. Just gotta throw it away.

Sorry fellas. It ain’t gonna work. We are paying out the ass to be led by some Colt and all the while our defense and running game suffers.

You can’t buy a Super Bowl after all Bucky-boy.

Sorry.

John Elway Tebow

“I want pocket passer…. eh… um…. duhhhh” “Win with Kyle ehh duhhh”

Dumervil to Ravens – What the Hell Just Happened?

Sunday, March 24th, 2013
So says Bowlen.

So says Bowlen.

Up until now, the Denver Broncos were set at Defensive End.

Somehow Bucky blew the deal and Elvis left the building.

You know what Bowlen said about the timing gaffe that sent Dumervil packing and cost the Broncos almost 5 million?

“These things happen all the time.”

Maybe old Pat’s noggin really is going foggy.

I recently read a puff piece from Gestapo Jeff Legwold about the Broncos “top five” defense.

I swear people these days, in this age of the internet these people just love statistics.

I have a statistic for you: Brady Quinn completes over fifty percent of his passes.

Hell, over fifty-five percent.

Did you know that one? I bet you didn’t. Hell I bet the Chiefs just can’t wait to see what the mighty Quinnby can do next year.  We’re all still waiting after year seven.

Let me ask you this: Were the 2010 Steelers really the best defense in football?

The answer is a resounding no. They weren’t the best but their statistics amounted to the first ranked defense overall.

Big whoop.

Sometimes the statistics lie.

The Denver Broncos don’t have no top five defense and it just got a bit worse. This team is a middle linebacker, safety, two defensive tackles and now a defensive end short of being solid.

I don’t care how many pitiful teams this bunch beat up on this season. They beat up on pitiful, mediocre teams and when they faced stiff competition they got whacked. They’re relying too much on Manning and the offense.

A big time offense has been working for the Falcons recently hasn’t it? Oh their defense ain’t no good but they’ll just pass their way to the Superbowl, right? How bout those Patriots and their wonderful offense? Really wins big in the offseason now without a defense don’t they now?

Now because of big daddy Elway and his last minute flub they need to go out and find some over the hill pass rusher.

I said it the day they got Manning: ” I don’t think this is going to work. I don’t think they will win a Superbowl with Manning. Probably will amount to an AFC championship loss in year three.”

Superbowl bound, eh?

I say they’re prepping for another heartbreaking loss in the playoffs next year.

I speak in TRUTHS! I AM REALITY!! I WILL NOT BUY INTO THE LIES AND DISTORTIONS. LIES AND DISTORTIONS ABOUND. FALSE HOPE AND FALSE PROPHETS ABOUND BUT I P.P. DUBLINSKI AM LIKENED TO A ROCK. THE ROCK OF TRUTHS. BUILD YOUR HOUSE ON SAND AND YOU GOT TURD BABY BUT BUILD YOUR HOUSE ON A ROCK AND YOU WILL NOT FALTER. YOU WILL STAND WHILE THE RUBES, MORONS AND DEGENERATES SINK TO THE VAPID DEPTHS OF RAW SEWERAGE.

I HEAR IT’S SHAPING UP TO BE RECORD COLD IN DENVER DURING PLAYOFF TIME NEXT YEAR.

ALL YOU RUBES OUT THERE BETTER HOPE BIG DADDY ELWAY CAN STRIKE GOLD ON MULTIPLE DRAFT PICKS. MULTIPLE PICKS!

OR IT’S DOWN THE RIVER ON A S$%THOUSE DOOR BABY, ALL OVER AGAIN.

Broncos Release Dumervil – Amateur Hour at Dove Valley

Friday, March 15th, 2013
John Elway Tebow

“I want pocket passer…. eh… um…. duhhhh” “Win with Kyle duhhh”

So the Broncos lose a premiere pass rusher because he signs on the dotted line seven minutes late… Some joke that is.

Oh I’m sure the Broncos blogs are all on fire with the big news of Wes Welker to Denver. Broncos for sure to the Super Bowl now.

I ain’t impressed.

Yeah he’s a good receiver and the Broncos needed an upgrade in the slot. However, this team sorely needs a running back, middle linebacker, defensive tackles and a hard hitting safety.

There were lots of hard hitting safeties on the market, don’t understand that one. This team needs one and it don’t have it.

This team don’t have a running back.

Not impressed with the middle linebackers.

Not impressed with the defensive tackles — this Jaguar guy reminds me of a bigger Marcus Thomas. There’s a few loons still waiting for him to be a big-time player.

Not impressed with our safeties, especially now that Quinton Carter has gone bust in Vegas. He was the one semblance of an enforcer back there.

This team ain’t going to the Super Bowl this year. Not unless they get LUCKY in the draft at MULTIPLE positions.

Von Miller guaranteeing a Super Bowl win… You’ve got to be kidding me.

You sir need to look in the mirror. You sir have Peyton Manning-itus. Manning-itus. The inability to elevate ones game in the post season.

Super Bowl, really there Miller? Better hope every playoff game is on the road. Wouldn’t want Manning’s old bones to catch cold up there in Denver.

The Denver Broncos don’t have a great defense. Sorry to burst your bubbles.

I don’t care what stats people want to throw out there. The Broncos defense gets exposed when it plays good offenses.

Loading up on offense eh there Elway? Defense be damned?

How well has that worked for the New England Patriots in recent years? How did that work for Manning in Indianapolis?

New England hasn’t won a Super Bowl in recent years because their DEFENSE sucks.

When Manning did manage to win the Super Bowl he had a halfway decent defense quarterbacked by Bob Sanders flying around, playing at a high level.

Broncos still ain’t ready.

That, plus it’s amateur hour at Dove Valley.

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“Karma Elway, Karma”

Friday, January 18th, 2013

I just finished eleven Sierra Nevada Pale Ales and I’m here to tell the truth to some of you people out there. My words are iron and I cannot and will not be stopped.

Feels good to be a Broncos fan right now, don’t it?

I don’t blame that Peter Tebow one bit for razzing Mr. Elway. Imagine your kid brother finally gets his chance to start for a faltering NFL team and then gets ridiculed each week by Big Daddy Elway and his cohorts in the media. After each win you hear a bunch of crap from Broncos alumni Sharpe, Jackson and Schlereth. I don’t want to hear about 8-8, that kid would have brought us to 10-6 last year had he started earlier. He went 7-4, 8-5 counting the playoffs. Seems people want to blame the last three losses solely on him too, that’s fine with me. I’ll blame the eight wins on him if that’s how we’re gonna gauge things.

I heard Brady Quinn completed fifty-eight percent of his passes this year. Isn’t that something? I bet the folks in Kansas City just can’t wait to start him next year. I heard he can make all the throws at the pro level. Amazing.

 

I don’t know about you, but last year after that I was proud to be a Broncos fan. Under fifty percent passing completions too. I wonder why the sports press don’t hold Blaine Gabbert or Brian Hoyer’s feet to the fire? They ain’t never won nothing, the only coming from behind they’ve ever done is probably on some cheap floozy at a college keg party.

You thought this year’s playoff collapse was bad? How about if they lose in the playoffs next year? Talk about pressure to perform, talk about a curse.

I have a sneaking suspicion that “Mile High Magic” left the building with Tebow. Unfortunately for Tebow it doesn’t work in New York and unfortunately for the Broncos they unceremoniously booted it out of Colorado.

Fast forward to the Broncos acquisition of Manning.

I didn’t like it.

Still don’t.

Didn’t like one bit how it went down.

Let me ask some of you people something, especially you sea cucumbers out there: Do you love being led by a Colt in the twilight of his career? Do you honestly love this?

It don’t sit right with me, never did.

I would have much rather we kept Tebow and drafted Osweiler. Perhaps Tebow would have been benched mid-season or perhaps the Broncos would get to the playoffs, fail once more and then decide to go with Osweiler.

I would have been much, much happier. These players are Broncos, not some Colt we are renting for three seasons or so. Nothing personal Manning, but I don’t like this situation one bit.

On top of that, I wanted a running back, middle linebacker, safety and two defensive tackles. You know, bolstering this not-ready-yet team instead of shelling out millions to a Colts QB in the twilight of his career.

We threw a bunch of money on an aging Colt who may or may not play to his potential in the icy Colorado post season. Much of Manning’s greatness occurred in the cozy confines of a dome and add to that the fact that he is 9-11 in the playoffs–no sure thing the Broncos will get to the big show next year either.

Can’t argue his greatness in the regular season.

But I’d rather get on with the future.

I believe the Broncos could have gotten to the playoffs this year with a Tebow or Osweiler (if Osweiler turns out to be as good as he looked in preseason, I happen to think yes). 10-6 wouldn’t have been out of the question in this raw sewage AFC west. Hell, I firmly believe the Broncos would have won the early Raiders and Chargers games last year had we started the kid.

I was shocked that Manning chose Denver because this team doesn’t have a great defense and still has many needs.

How about that “great Broncos defense?”

Yes they’re great against the septic tank of the AFC west. Yes they’re great against a declining Saints, a horrible Panthers and a lowly Browns. The Broncos defense is great against crap and mediocre teams.

When it comes to some real competition, the Broncos defense gets whacked. They get whacked because not a whole lot has changed.

This “great number2 defense in the league” needs TWO defensive tackles, a middle linebacker and a safety. Rahim Moore shouldn’t be on the team next season. This team sorely needs an enforcer back there who can lay out running backs, instead they have a kid whose only big hits are on defenseless receivers.

Edge rushers alone does not a defense make. How the hell long is it going to take for Denver to realize this? The entire middle of that defense needs an overhaul. I knew it, you should have known it too. That Bob Smith knows it, who the hell is this Bob Smith commenter anyways? I bet he is a damn disciple of P.P.

The Broncos got whomped when they faced a good balanced offense. This defense keys on the pass and they get run over all day. This defense keys on the run and gets torched through the air all day (see last Sunday’s pathetic display.) I knew for a fact this team would get smashed when they played New England. The Patriots have a decent running game this year and Tom Brady doesn’t miss those wide open receivers like Joe Flacco does.

Did any of you people watch the SoundFX replay of last Sunday’s game? I sure as hell did.

“Hey, so a field goal will win it?” a beleaguered Von Miller asked Elvis Dumervil.

“Yeap, yeap,” a sullen Dumervil replied.

I actually do feel a little sorry for Von Miller and Champ Bailey. They are both class act professionals unlike some others but they both had a lousy game.

First I was disgusted. Next I remembered how lucky I was this season to keep my distance from these Broncos and not be emotionally invested in them. I knew they weren’t as good as their record seemed to indicate. The offense performed a little better than I expected. I expected Manning to be good, but oh by the way, when it came to receivers it wasn’t really Thomas or Decker that impressed. It was Stokley, Dreesen and Tamme.

Stokley, Dreesen and Tamme made more huge plays for this offense at critical points in games all season long. Hell, what did our big receiver Thomas do last Sunday? I saw Anquan Boldin out there getting open and making plays. Demaryius Thomas needs to do more, either that or we need another wide receiver. The “QB just couldn’t get the ball to them” is no excuse this year. I believe the Broncos need one more fast, dynamic receiver and kick Decker to the slot. I do not believe the Broncos are as “set” as some people think at receiver. They can get better. They can also upgrade a tight end, our guys played OK but it would be nice to have the second coming of Shannon Sharpe out there.

This offense came together a little better than I expected this year, but overall it wasn’t a big surprise. Our running game is mediocre, it’s good enough against bad teams but fails to produce overall mainly because we don’t have anything special at running back. Like I’ve said this team needs a young Willis McGahee.

Can you imagine if this team kept last year’s read option offense and drafted a running back like Doug Martin? He put up 1400 yards on a lousy team, just imagine what he could have done instead of the aging, oft injured knees of you know who.

You know that ungrateful guy who spouted off during the offseason with a bunch of anonymous players?

I heard he was gonna put up much more than 1,200 yards this year. Last I counted it was 730, sorry there Willis.

When people started to say “look out for Knowshon Moreno” in the ass end of this season I laughed my balls off. I wasn’t fooled.

Are kidding me? A sea slug could have sensed it was just a matter of time for Knownshon to get injured once again. The kid can’t carry the load running between the tackles, if you were smart you’d only use him on certain plays such as screens and catching out of the backfield. That was moronic. I’m not too impressed by Hillman although he’s OK he’s just not the answer.

Some people have the audacity to say this Broncos team might be like the one that lost to Jacksonville sixteen years ago in the playoffs. You’re s&^tting me right? You mean the one that had Terrell Davis? You better hope we can draft a Terrell Davis this year. If the Broncos were smart, they’d realize they can’t ride Manning’s arm all the way to the big show. They need to run a little more, especially in the cold. They need a strong runner like McGahee who has moves like Moreno. The Broncos will be picking late in the first round and that’s exactly where they might be able to land a decent running back this year.

Speaking of John Fox and smarts — yes that was a pathetic decision to take a knee with thirty second on the clock. I guarantee it was a pathetic decision no matter what is said about it because it will never happen again.

Elway wouldn’t have taken a knee there, why the hell should Manning have?

No matter, the Patriots would have sh-lacked the Broncos this weekend.

Team’s not ready yet, sorry.

Ravens 38 Broncos 35 Denver is “So Great”

Saturday, January 12th, 2013
Elway Teeth

Elway Approved

I told you people this is a 9-7 10-6 wildcard team.

They played like that today, didn’t they?

Couldn’t even beat a wildcard team.

I hope all the rubes, goobers, morons and degenerates that thought the Broncos were a Superbowl team are crying in their beers right now. Every last single one of them.

Down the river on a $&*thouse door baby. How’s them apples fellas?

I wasn’t fooled. The Broncos beat up a bunch of terrible teams in the regular season. They got beat when they faced real, healthy competition. I was sure I’d be making this post next week, hell nothing short of the Super Bowl is required when you lock up home field advantage in the playoffs. That is, if you’re a really good football team.

All that work to go 13-3, all that work to become the darlings of the media.

This team is “so much better off now” aren’t they?

Aren’t they media degenerates?

Aren’t they ungrateful Broncos players?

Aren’t they prominent Broncos bloggers?

Aren’t they ungrateful Broncos fans?

Aren’t they so much better off now?

I bet a lot of you people were looking forward to facing New England next week. Perhaps this time you’d win because now you have a “real quarterback.”

Hell, they couldn’t even make it to that rematch with everything in their favor. Could they?

Everything I said about how incomplete this team is stands.

It stands on truth. It stands on the iron words of P.P. Dublinski.

My curse is lifted for now. Bloody hell it went down in the worse possible fashion for Mr. Elway and friends.

I hope all the ungrateful Broncos players who spouted off in the offseason, all the goobers in the front office with their “collective sigh of relief,” Mark Schlereth, Tom Jackson, Shannon Sharpe, Mr. John Elway and other sea cucumbers are swallowing their pride right now. Big time.

The Denver Broncos aren’t ready for prime time. This team is not ready yet to go deep into the playoffs.

Number 15 elevated this very mediocre team last year from the raw sewer pit of Kyle Orton.

The kid even won a playoff game. Imagine that.

Number 18 elevated this mediocre team some more. In the regular season that is.

Big (*&%$in whoop.

More to come…

If the Broncos Beat the Bengals Today…

Sunday, November 4th, 2012

Then maybe, just maybe they are a little better than I thought.

Yes the Bengals are 3-4, but they have a decent offense and are at home coming off a bye.

“Gonna run the table?” eh there Shannon Sharpe?

Fine. Beat the Bengals.

Otherwise the Broncos are who I said they are.

I say 31-26 Bengals.

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The Broncos Will Finish 9-7

Friday, October 26th, 2012

That’s right, a disappointing end to the season and a playoff berth by default.

Mark my words, the 2012 Denver Broncos will get beat by good teams.

They already have.

A good team and an above normal NFL quarterback isn’t going to implode like Mr. Rivers in the second half. That absolute skunk of a troglodyte. The Chargers were moving the ball down the field on our vaunted defense in the second half and if it wasn’t for Rivers they would have kept the curse running wild.

No matter, 3-3 is a bag of shells.

A good team is going to keep running up the score on the Broncos and win.

I’m not fooled by this team, the middle of the defense is undermanned.

We will probably lose this week and possibly the next.

However, the Broncos should destroy the sewer that is the AFC West.

The Broncos will do no better than last year in the playoffs. Good teams with a decent offense will beat the Broncos.

I never said Peyton Manning wouldn’t do well, I never once questioned the arm strength or stats. I only disapproved of the shape of his head and all those weird indention marks on his dome when he takes off his helmet. Leave the helmet on for Christ’s sake.

The team as a whole is not a Super Bowl contender.

Mr. Asinine Philip Rivers ruined my big announcement. I was so pissed off I ruined Halloween decorations and threw full bars of soap at cars on the 95 overpass. It kept my spirits up and my head clear.

3-4 after the bye, 9-7 in the end.

You’ve

Monday, October 15th, 2012

got to be kidding me.

Elway Teeth

Categories : Broncos News
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