I heard Horvil Tiki is up in Connecticut visiting relatives before they make the trip to Virginia. Only thing is, the power is still out from that storm up there. Serves him right. Couldn’t have worse timing. I suppose that’s what poor work ethic and insufficient tact gets you.

Some of you people think I ‘m some kind of bad person. Truth is, I am this site. This site would be nothing without me. Most of the people who voted in that poll here ought to be ashamed. I should have a million hits with my truths. I also have Horvil Tiki’s dog. That’s right. Who did he come to when the dog needed a place to stay? He came to me. I suppose that’s how bad of a guy I am. I also changed the dog’s name to something more tasteful. His name is now Bunger and I’ve even trained him not to piss all over the place like some dirty little runt.

I’m not gonna sugar coat it. Last Thursday’s game was sweet.

Brady Quinn

The Mighty Quinnby - "Just Qwinning"

I loved it. I did. I laughed my balls off. It was almost as fun as watching Jay Huckdort Cutler throw picks for the Chicago Bears.

The cute little plan went to hell as the “perfect pocket passer” Brady Quinn failed to marginalize Timmy Tebow.

Not only did he fail to marginalize Timmy Teebs, but the perfect practice pupil crashed and burned big time.

A hideous, heinous display from a five year “NFL pro.” Poor coach and front office, it seems they wanted people to shut up and get on board the Orton/Quinn offense.

We saw a five year quarterback the Denver Compost and others were talking up like some kind of golden rookie all month long, we saw that amazing player take the field and reality struck just like that.

Swift and leaving naught but dingleberries in the turd-ridden mouths of the pundits.

I told you we should know who Brady Quinn is on the field and what he does.

Now, I’m here to tell you the 2011 Denver Broncos won’t be very good either.

Orton Quinn

Masters of Practice and the Gridiron

We are squandering the season, spinning our wheels with a journeyman quarterback that we should have sent packing. Two journeymen for that matter. Fox and friends seemed to have turned coat and believe Orton and Quinn are some kind of amazing pros you can build your team around. Fox and friends seem to believe the running game will be totally revamped, “Run 500 times…” he claims. Mike Klis believes Kyle Orton will have a career year and the Broncos will win more games than they lose. Klis swoons at the incredible efficiency the Broncos first string offense showed during the mighty Buffalo Bills game.  Dave Krieger says Kyle Orton gives the Broncos credibility at the quarterback position, they can certainly win with him. Bill Williamson loves to just parrot everything the Denver Post says about the quarterback situation like some sea slug. Jeff Legwold says look for a power running game this year and claims the real gamers at QB are the players who look good in practice. He also claimed his boy Brady Quinn has improved big time and thinks (or thought?) so highly of him that he stated Quinn will look forward to a “financial windfall” at the end of this season as a free agent.

In the words of Confucius: “Good luck with that, dude.”

Brady Quinn’s big offer will be from CBSNews as an analyst.

I think I’d rather have Adam Weber as a backup. Weber or Brodie Croyle. That’s an upgrade. It’s charity that Quinn is on the team and I don’t care that he “knows the offense.” A lot of good that did, didn’t it?

When reality strikes, people end up with egg all over their face.

Reality is coming.

Mike Klis Denver Post

"Just Believe"

Gee whiz Mike Klis, I guess that means you’re down for at least 10-6, 11-5 cause that’s what it’s usually gonna take to make the playoffs. Win more than we lose with Kyle Orton, eh?

Is Mike Klis even serious? Are you even serious Klis? I think you’ve taken over for Numby at the Post as the village idiot.

You’re no P.P. Klis. You’re a loser.

The 2011 Denver Broncos aren’t a good enough team to carry starting quarterback Kyle Orton. I know it and everyone else should.

Oh it was fun in preseason. It was fun just like last preseason.

Reality is coming.

My words are iron, my hand is devastating and full of might.

The girth has never been more dominant or authoritative.

It’s clear Kyle Orton can’t carry this team. He never has.

What did we need two years ago? Oh that’s right, that’s right one game. Just one game out of eight to get into the playoffs and our oh-so-glorious leader, good ol’ number 8 couldn’t even manage that.

Last year was the same old story plus a bunch of stats in garbage time.

It’s gonna be more of the same mediocre offense we’ve grown accustomed to over the last two years. Ain’t that exciting?

Yes, the defense has improved. It shows you what one decent draft can do, the additions of linebacker Von Miller and safety Rahim Moore instantly upgrade our pass rush and give us some playmaking ability for once at safety.

That’s not enough. Our interior defensive line is atrocious. Not one guy you really have to worry about although the jury’s still out Robert Ayers.

John Fox Broncos

I can see the future: "Three and out... yet again"

The 2011 Broncos will whip up on bad teams. Our pass rush with Von Miller and returning sack master Elvis Dumervil will be formidable. However, the good teams will adapt and they will run underneath Miller and Dumervil as they charge up field. They will hit short passes, screens and they will run underneath these two to negate their pass rushing presence for the most part. These teams will also feast on the interior of our defense. I like Joe Mays, I like Vickerson too but these are two positions where the Broncos will surely have brand new names possibly as soon as next year.

The Broncos pass rush will be better, but the good teams will adapt, they will have answers for the outside rush and they will run through the middle of our defense all day long.

Big things are expected out of the 2011 Broncos offense. That is, if you’re talking to Klis or Krieger or Legwold. Bill Williamson would just nod and agree with them.

Oh I hear we’re gonna have a big power running game. I hear Kyle Orton’s gonna have a career year and lead us to the playoffs. We’ll have credibility with Kyle Orton starting. We’ll win more games than we lose. The John Fox offense will run 500 times.

I’ll tell you something, if the Broncos run five hundred times against the good teams we face this season, that’s 450 times they’re gonna get stuffed. We ain’t there yet on the offensive line.

I am not convinced at all that the interior of our offensive line is capable of creating big holes against the better teams out there. Our running game will slightly improve with the additions of Orlando Franklin at right tackle and power running back Willis McGahee, but that’s just one guy on the line and one aging veteran in the backfield.

If you want to impress me with a “revamped running game” you better sign or draft a top notch guard, either that or sign a big time right tackle and kick Franklin into the interior. Then we have the beginnings of a dominant right side of the line at least. It ain’t happening this year.

I’m not sold on our guards Zane Beadles or Kuper. They haven’t proven they can run block worth squat. In fact, the majority of our running this preseason was aimed right behind Orlando Franklin–running behind one guy doesn’t cut it.

They’re telling you we’re gonna run and Orton’s gonna gun and the Broncos are gonna score and the defense will be top ten.

I’m telling you we’re only gonna run against the bad teams, Orton will be Orton and the defense will be top ten.

Top ten for about four weeks.

I can see it now, Orton behind center at our 22 yard line just after we run twice for two yards. You remember that? Oh yeah I do, I can’t wait for more either. Third and eight and it better be perfect. Better have an open receiver, he better catch it or it’s three and out yet again. With Kyle Orton we’re once again set up to be the three and out machine. With Orton, there is abslutely no margin for error on offense. God forbid we get a false start or holding penalty too.

That was too easy...

When we play good teams expect frequent three and outs from our limited quarterback, expect our running game to get stuffed, plus factor in our incredibly poor depth at most positions and we’re looking at a defense that will wear down once again over the course of the season.

Many 2011 Broncos predictions are disastrous. 4-12, 3-13… I don’t think we’ll be quite that bad, but one injury on the offensive line? Knowshon gets injured for a good amount of time? Someone named Von or Elvis tweak a toe? Well those are the makings for disaster and we’re one player away in all three situations.

This Fox character better hope Eric Decker and Julius Thomas are ready for prime time. They’re gonna have to come up big on third downs and the red zone, Brandon Lloyd will be covered this year like nobody’s business.

We’re not going to run the football well against good teams. Oh, maybe we’ll run OK between the twenties… but on third downs and in the red zone? You know, when it matters?

Sorry.

I know the plan, I can see it a mile away and it’s not going to work. Our players at the point of attack, in the trenches, the point of attack where you win and lose games–we simply aren’t that good yet. The Broncos will only be “adequate” running the football, the defense will still get gashed up the middle and Kyle Orton just isn’t that good of a quarterback. He doesn’t have the intangibles, the fire and I’m telling you intangibles matter. Orton is Steve DeBerg, a stop-gap journeyman. He will be around a long time and play for many teams.

The whole league seems to know that, obviously the Broncos do not. The veterans on this team don’t seem to get it either, but then again is that the media telling us tall tales or is it simply Brandon Lloyd’s opinion?  He sure seems to get the quotes on the subject of Orton. Lloyd who would love nothing more than to repeat last season then go off and try to make a bundle in free agency.

With Orton and God forbid Brady Quinn, the Broncos have no dynamic play at the quarterback position. If anything, this team needs some dynamic play at the quarterback position. Not a bunch of unspectacular, immobile storks.

Kyle Orton

"Orton could be the Tom Brady of the AFC West." - Some rube.

This offense isn’t good enough to smash people in the mouth. Not good enough to create a wall for Kyle Orton to sit back there and ping teams to death. If John Fox did the unthinkable and signed Orton to a four year extension, hell this team probably wouldn’t be ready for the playoffs for two more years. Even then, even if we get in I don’t trust Orton. He hasn’t come up big for the Broncos or the Bears in any of the big regular season games, why should we think he’ll do otherwise in the playoffs?

I hereby predict the 2011 Denver Broncos will finish 6 and 10 with Kyle Orton at the helm.

The Broncos should start the season off at 2-0. It’s somewhat possible they could start 3-0 too.

After that? All bets are off.

In the beginning, we should look good against some bad teams and then we will hit the proverbial wall against the better teams. The Orton style stork offense will be the main culprit. This team doesn’t need an immobile stork at the quarterback position right now. It needs dynamic playmaking ability.

Like I said, get ready for third and long deep in our own territory and three and outs. Puts the defense in a bad position doesn’t it? Just like this offense has done for the past two years. We will struggle on third downs and in the red zone once again. We will continue to consistently lose the battle of field position. Better hope we have a guy open on third down, better hope he catches it. Better hope our offensive line can protect the quarterback before he takes the sack or throws it out of bounds.

Ain’t you excited?

I ain’t.

In fact, I’m hoping, I’m praying. I’m hoping beyond hope that if Kyle Orton tweaks an ankle and John Fox has the audacity to try and marginalize our rookie QB, I hope it’s at home.

If I see Brady Quinn warming up on the sideline, I’m hoping beyond hope that it’s a home game.

The moral indignation should be palpable. The camera should shake from the groans of thousands of outraged fans.

It will be trouble if that goes down. I will be laughing. The way things are going it probably will go down.

Tebow Raiders

"Good thing we don't have to deal with this Monday" - Generic Raiders Fan

I doubt very much we’ll even see our rookie QB in special packages. You know, effective plays on third downs and the red zone that could help our team win. I don’t see it happening. We’re too afraid of hurting Kyle Orton’s confidence and too afraid to create a quarterback controversy. It’s clear the front office decided to turn tail and marginalize the kid. It was working until last Thursday night.

This coach and this front office have turned around from their decision to start the kid in this rebuilding year, turned tail right around and want you to believe Kyle Orton is some big savior of the team.

Well we’ll see who the geniuses are. I say they’re squandering the damn season. Instead of getting on with the future we’re gonna try and make the playoffs with Steve DeBerg.

I and most of you have been robbed of our quality entertainment. Robbed of our excitement on offense. Is this the “exciting quarterback play” Pat Bowlen said is a hallmark of Broncos football?  The franchise will be set back a year and it’s unacceptable. All because of some conservative scheme and ball-less panic about practice play. We should be getting on with the future. The Carolina Panthers are getting on with their future. The Broncos are not.

Didn’t we replace this quarterback last year?

I will be watching every step of the way. Laughing most of the way at the failed plan. The plan that’s so obvious I can see it coming from miles away. I will be hovering like a dark cloud above this front office and the majority of the mainstream sports media. I will demand apologies when the Broncos crash and burn. I will demand apologies for marginalizing our rookie quarterback who has played in promising fashion despite the lies and distortions. Come ten games in, I P.P. Dublinski will break down the lies and distortions for which there are many. I will remember every word uttered by sea cucumbers and facsimiles thereof.

I am reality.

The reality meter will tell the story. Already it tips in my favor. Look at it! My brain is more valuable than all of these losers put together. For every loss I will gain a red square to the left of the meter, for every win it will glow to the right. These people seem to think Fox’s master plan with Orton will work, they believe the Broncos current running game along with Kyle Orton and Brady Quinn are something real special. I don’t.

Trade Orton now, Cut Brady Quinn and Start the Kid. We’re not going to the playoffs. I don’t care about Orton or Lloyd’s stats for free agency. Build the offense around the kid in this rebuilding year and see what we have, instead of building around a couple journeymen with no upside.

The future is Qwinn.

That’s the smart thing to do. That’s getting on with the future.

Instead, we’ve failed to do so and now we’re stuck on stupid and squandering the season.

Never fear. Reality is coming.

The Reality Meter