Dookie Bowl II

This Sunday at Wembley Stadium in London, England, we will witness two groups of 45 men masquerading as two professional NFL football teams.

The Brits are probably wondering what the hell they did to deserve such a peckered spectacle. The 1 and 6 Forty Niners and the 2 and 5 Broncos will compete in a dookie bowl of immense proportions and only one team will prove they are somewhat less crap-tastic than the other.

I happen to think Josh McDaniels did the right thing in postponing the Broncos journey to London this week. The Broncos will arrive in England on Friday, whereas the Forty Niners have been staying there throughout the week.

Getting in and getting the hell out is smart.

Dirty London

Why the hell would you subject your team to a bunch of dirty buildings, boiled potatoes and flapping gums filled with brown teeth for a full week? Bile laden gutters of stench, piss laden telephone booths full of disease–oh yeah that’s just wonderful. That’s just great I suppose we’ll just immerse ourselves in this stuff for a week. In fact, I bet the Forty Niners can’t wait to get the hell out of there by now. I could never understand the allure of walking around looking at old buildings. Old, dirty buildings, yeah that’s just wonderful. That’s exactly what I’d like to be doing right now.

Get in, and get the hell out. Hopefully with a win. Now that’s a good gameplan. Note to the Broncos: find the cheapest little dive selling halfway decent fish and chips and stick to it cause that’s as good as it gets. Anything else and you’ll feel ripped off. I’ll give the Brits credit where credit is due: they do a good cheap fish in chips wrapped in newspaper.

Can we beat a 1 and 6 team?

I repeat, can we beat a 1 and 6 team?

I’m not so sure.

I don’t really know. It all depends on what Broncos team shows up. If the Broncos in the Jets game show up then we’ll win, but if last weeks team takes the field then we’re doomed. I don’t care if Alex Smith is starting from off the bench, he’ll probably have the game of his life. He could be running, gunning and going hog wild out there at the Broncos expense for all we know. That’s all the preview you need to know: the Broncos show up or they don’t. They either play with some fire or they play down to the 49ers. We have the talent of a 10 and 6, 9and 7 team and we cannot put all the pieces together on Sundays  to perform with any consistency.

Can you imagine if Kyle Boller started last week? Probably the same exact result and they’d be talking quarterback controversy in Oakland right now.

This team has a lot of proving to do before I can take them seriously again. I want three wins in a row before I take them seriously. As it stands I’m just an unaffected observer, I’m not really expecting much out of this game. If we win, big deal, how about we beat the Chiefs? How about a three game winning streak? That’s what it’s gonna take for them to get off the snide–or at least somewhat.

In recent years this Broncos team has a problem with big games and division rivals. It dates back to the ass end of the Shanahan era, remember Shanny’s last game? That whipping by the Chargers in a game with playoff implications?

How about the final Chiefs game last year? Yet again, another game against a division rival with playoffs on the line.

Last week the game would determine which AFC West team has legitimate shot at catching the Chiefs– yet again the Broncos come out flat in another big game against a rival. I’m tired of this, something better be done about this cause something is rotten in Denmark.

Kyle Orton


I’ve heard talk about replacing the coach. That won’t happen anytime soon, but if the same team as last week keeps showing up it just might. People talk about getting a new coach who can motivate and all that jazz. We had Shanahan and now McDaniels and some of these problems are the same. I think it’s a lack of leaders on the field. We know we have Dawkins on defense, but who else? Where are the leaders on this team? We’ve got the “strong silent types,” in Champ, D.J. Williams and even Orton. I emphasize silent. Maybe we have too many of these silent types. There’s a lack of leadership on the field and it shows.

If we keep losing and I’m calling for the kid to play at quarterback plain and simple. To all those who say, ” He ain’t ready,” well how do you get ready? Riding pine?

What if Orton gets injured, do you want Brady Quinn taking over? Brady Quinn who was thoroughly outplayed by the rookie?

There’s a taint on the Kyle Orton show, like I said I question his leadership. What I saw Sunday–even though he was trying–didn’t inspire confidence. With all the glowing stats in the world between the 20’s he’s struggling when the defenses clamp down. Struggles in converting third downs and scoring in the red zone. Touchdowns and converting on third downs count, stats don’t.

The Broncos need to string together a few wins before I can take them seriously again. This starts with Orton leading the offense in touchdown scoring drives. Say what you want about the defense–yes they deserve their share of the blame, but scoring 17 points a game is unacceptable. We don’t have an all world defense, we have a decent defense, not a great one. It remains to be seen if we got what’s behind door number two with Wink Martindale. Like I said it looks like we picked the guy up from some Nascar event. I question his professionalism. But scoring only 17 points per game or less doesn’t cut it, we need 24-28 points a game to compete in this league. If we start losing I want us to put the kid in at QB. What some people don’t understand, is that it’s not a demotion of Kyle Orton in this case. No, you don’t start Tebow when we  still have the faintest chance at a playoff berth. But when those playoff hopes turn to a steaming pile of crap, there’s no reason for Orton to continue as the starter this year. Not to leave out the fact it would be boring as hell if he continues to do his Canadian Goose impression.

I’ll tell you some of these people didn’t see the same Tebow I saw in preseason. They probably just watched the ESPN highlights showcasing the interception and the fumbled snap. I saw a kid who had confidence, who threw the ball with zip and he had a very good deep ball. He also scored touchdowns. Say what you will about playing in the preseason–Brady Quinn, a guy with some actual NFL experience didn’t look nearly as good out there. I’m  telling you if the losses pile up it’s Tebow time, or it better be. QB controversy be damned.

ESPN recently apologized to England for sending the Broncos and 49ers over there, that’s how far the mighty Broncos have fallen. Some of the Broncos players said the problem with their poor performance isn’t on the coach. Well, if that’s the case,  I say way to stick up for him while talking to the press.

How about sticking up for him on the field?