The Real Merril Hoge

Hi, my name’s Merril Hoge and I’m a bald loser with a concentration of dingleberries that resemble a mouth.

Look at him, eh? Look at that bald loser doing his best used car salesman act. Stick to used cars there Hodge. Watch the ill-formed sewage and turd dripping from the concentration dingleberries he calls a mouth.

Get a load of baldy eh? I heard he was watching Tim Tebow and all his failures last season.

Tim Tebow, who looked better coming in cold than every rookie QB besides Bradford.

But oh no, Tim Tebow can’t play in the NFL. No, he only averaged 23 points per game coming in cold as a rookie.

I don’t care what defense he played. Kyle Orton sucked badly against good defenses and he sucked badly against bad ones too. You should put up points against a bad defense. We rarely even managed that.

Look at this again, just look at this garbage from Orton once more:

17, 13, 17, 20, 14, 16, 14, 6, 13

Nine games last year where Kyle Orton and our offense couldn’t even put up 21 points. Don’t even tell me it’s none of his fault, we could have kept drives alive–but oh no due to Cuckooman’s limitations it’s el collapso foldo.

Some of you people are looking forward to that again? Some of you people act like we made wholesale changes on offense?

A new scheme is really gonna make a world of difference this quickly? We basically got a few tight ends, swapped a fourth receiver, swapped for a new tackle and added Willis McGahee…

Some people believe we’re likely to win with Kyle Orton. We didn’t last year. We didn’t the year before.

This offense isn’t that good, the personnel aren’t that good yet. I’m sorry to break it to some of you people, but fielding an immobile Canadian Goose at QB with our personnel isn’t a recipe for wild success. The defense should be better, but not by a grand margin.

Our running game and defense aren’t yet up to the task to accommodate an immobile, unspectacular QB who’s only claim to fame is accuracy and drunkenness.

With Tebow, it was about 23 points per game, and we won one of them, but Tebow can’t play in the NFL. You’ve got to be (^*^ing me.

This kid can do things Orton never dreamed of, he can keep drives alive instead of taking the sack in the fetal position when everyone is covered.

That’s big on a team that isn’t very good on offense. A team that isn’t very good on either side of the ball.

They were ready and willing to trade Orton, to do the right thing for the future of the team. Seems to me, based on a few practices and I do emphasize practice, seems like there’s some type of weird panic that set in at Dove Valley.

Ball-lessness on a level hitherto never before seen. Maybe Fox and his “conservative offense” got a boner over the steadiness of Orton in practice. I don’t want to hear about ball control, conservative offense on a team without a top ten, perhaps even top five defense and a very good running game. We have neither.

But oh no, listen to the geniuses at the Denver Compost: Klis, listen to Krieger and Legwold. Add in the great Baldy Merril Hoge and a bunch of parrots in the media who want to be right about Tebow not being a NFL caliber QB. All geniuses.

Heard a sea cucumber say Tebow needs to lose 30 pounds and become a real pocket passing QB.

What the hell do you want? You want to mold this Tebow into Kyle Orton? What an absolute laugh.

Tell that to Tampa Bay and what they did with Steve Young, mishandled to the point they booted a Hall of Fame QB out of town.

Oh no Broncos fans, Krieger says you need credibility, you better go with this:

17, 13, 17, 20, 14, 16, 14, 6, 13

And oh, by the way? He’s only here for a year.