Numbnuts Woody Paige

We do ask tough questions. I wish you had sat next to me at the final two press conferences McDaniels had — after the last game and the next day. As a radio guy said to me: “Man, you had the guts to ask the questions the rest of us wanted to.”

Oh is that so Numby, eh? Big man Numbnuts mouthed off to the coach at a press conference. I’d like to meet this “radio guy.” He’s probably some young intern that don’t know any better. You got to be two turds in a paper bag short of running around I-95 bolicky bare-ass in January to look up to Numbnuts at the Denver Post. I’d like to know who this radio guy is, he’s liable to do just about anything if he’s that bad off. I’d like to know who he is, because if I see him on the side of the highway with a flat, I ain’t stopping and that’s for damn sure. You got to be seriously intellectually light to look up to Numbnuts at the Post as some sort of a genius. After his track record of being perennially wrong? After his track record of shifting gears on a dime? I’m convinced some people got short memories — I don’t.

My point is, T-Bone Tebow is cut from the same cloth. He’s smart, tough, a good passer, a great leader, a winner. I think he’d fit perfectly in the McDaniels system — a shotgun quarterback, throwing the short passes, running as a wildcatter and occasionally throwing deep. And he has a great football mind.

But the Broncos won’t draft him. Most teams will stay away because he’s not what the scouts want. Kordell Stewart proved people wrong and became the original Slash.

Here’s another one of Numby’s genius ideas. Yeah, lets draft a glorified H-back with the tenth or eleventh pick in the draft, hell a second rounder would be too much for Tebow. That Tebow ain’t no NFL QB, he is a possible Chris Cooley, if that.

Josh McDaniels

Bowlen "won" with Reeves, he won with Shanahan, he's gonna win with the kid

Yeah that’s right Mcdaniels and the Broncos organization ain’t gonna listen to your “genius” there Numby. Not after you said Ryan Clady wasn’t all that. Not after predicting 4 and 12, 11 and 5 the year before ( for someone who was supposedly “vocal” about getting rid of Shanahan that year, that was an awfully optimistic outlook at the beginning of the season, that’s a tactic of a spineless, weak, wave-riding sea cucumber )

Yeah they ain’t gonna listen when ol’ Numby calls for Chris Simms to start. He’s obviously the better quarterback. Oh and Mike Nolan? I suppose he was the first big mistake of the McDaniels era according to Numby.  Numby said McDaniels was the golden boy and eveything he did was correct. Now Numby’s saying the best coach just left town. Way to stick by your guns eh Numby?

I see those losers at the Post piling on Moreno, what a joke that is. Klis asked the wrong guy on that offensive line about our o-line woes. Clady had nothing to do with it. I wonder if these Moreno bashers even realize they’re setting themselves up for failure. I suppose they take Numbnuts over there seriously, they must feel he’s the resident genius, the real pulse of Broncos information. I suppose Moreno just didn’t find the holes, what a laugh that is. But after all the crazy uncle has dinner with Shanahan, so he knows what the hell is up. All these goobers coming out of the woodwork with their cute lines “NoGain Moreno,” “Noyards” etc. You morons, degenerates and garden variety ignoramuses are going to have egg on your face, but that’s just fine, cause all of a sudden you won’t say nothing. You’ll just quietly blend back in with the sea cucumbers when this kid runs for 1,300 yards and catches for 600. Which is reasonable based on the flashes he showed, his ability to catch the ball brilliantly not to mention his professionalism and leadership.

You know what Shonn Greene has that Moreno doesn’t? Two guards and a center that can run block. You see what the Jets did to that Chargers defensive front? Take note, because the Broncos don’t got that. We don’t have that, the fact that we don’t killed us, and new interior linemen is exactly what we need. Probably the biggest need of this offseason is a new center and a guard, maybe two guards.

But good, I hope you people discount this Moreno left and right. Hopefully I’ll find some losers that will trade away his best rookie cards at a hell of a discount.

Guess what, Broncos? If Ryan had come to Denver, he would have kept the offensive staff intact, would have kept Cutler and would have concentrated on the defensive side of the ball. If the Broncos had hired Ryan, they would have been in the playoffs. But that horse has left the Broncos’ barn.

If this, if that. Why must I pick up a Denver paper and hear a bunch of nonsense about garbage that will never happen?

Numby was all about McDaniels when he anointed him the golden boy mid-season. Proudly throwing out stats how McDaniels was a winner compared to all the other first year coaches. I’m telling you we got a taste of the McDaniels regime in those first six games. Mark my words Josh McDaniels is a winner, he has the mark of a winner. He will be around a long, long time coaching the Broncos.

Jay "Huckdort" Cutler

Jay "Huckdort" Cutler

Suppose we did keep the offense intact. We’d have an un-coach-able pick throwing gooned out doofus at quarterback. We’d probably be trying to trade Cutler all over again. I’m glad we did when the griddle was hot. We got great value when the world called Huckdort a shining example of a Pro Bowler. All along I knew he was a poor man’s Favre. That Hucky is tarnished baby, he is tarnished with them picks big time. Unbelievable. And they are killers. Always seems to happen to Hucky at the worst possible time you can imagine too. He just loves them dorts, I can’t see him ever getting over his addiction to dorting and dorting heavy baby. I heard something funny while passing by a Chicago paper. I heard they ain’t looking for any upgrades at wide receiver. And I thought we had a doofus columnist at the Denver Post. What a laugh riot that one was. I think these arrogant, lazy journalist types are an epidemic. They are what’s killing these newspapers.

Second, we’d be trading Marshall away now regardless. This upcoming trade or release has zero to do with Huckdort not being here. It has zero to do with Huckdort and everything to do with Brandon Marshall. We can’t get rid of him fast enough as far as I’m concerned. I notice a bunch of geniuses coming out of the woodwork saying we ought to get a first rounder, a third rounder and even a player in return for Marshall.

These people remind me of the poor souls that put Zhu Zhu pets up for three hundred dollars a pop on auction in December. People are stupid, but nobody’s paying that much. Those damn things sat on the shelf and the poor saps ended up having to cover the auction costs at the end. Even garden variety misdemeanor level ignoramus buyers have a quarter of a brain left. Imagine you’re a GM in this league: you’re gonna give away a first round pick, a third round pick plus a good player and then turn around and have to pay out the ass for Brandon Marshall? On top of all that? With his team poisoning antics and list of infractions? With his overrated abilities? Part of me does solemnly hope someone is that utterly desperate and moronic.

Asking the world for Marshall could be a mistake, if we ask too much he’ll just sit and other teams will too. It’s more like we got a damaged Zhu Zhu and the holiday rush is over. Cut your losses and get what you can. I’m hoping for a first rounder at best, either that or a straight up trade for a player. I’ll tell you right now I’ll be happy in either scenario. Wherever he goes it’s just a matter of time for them to find out about the great Brandon Marshall. Might take a year, but it will just be a matter of time before the meltdown occurs in some way, shape or form.

I heard that Denver Post is filing for bankruptcy, eh? These papers are sinking and sinking fast. You got Numby over here blowing hoagies out his ass, probably sitting in the stall of some filth-ridden Taco Bell while he should be at training camp. Throwing out barbs and bombs left and right at our team, trying to sharpshoot our coach left and right like that gooned out loser Ron Borges.

They ought to make me in charge of that newsroom. I’d bring it to damn greatness. I’d fire Numbnuts on the first day and split his wages among two highly competent and professional bloggers in our Broncos blogosphere. At least we’d have people in there that are committed, competent, thorough and who like the team. Instead of someone’s crazy uncle Numby that has a whiny personal vendetta against the coach. That Numby ought to be fired for conduct detrimental to the team.

Randy "Macho Man" Savage

Randy Savage

Then I’d get Randy “Macho Man” Savage out of retirement. The genius of the Macho Man was cut off from the public’s eye much too early. You people think I’m messing around, eh? I’d grab a HD camera and cruise around Colorado with him and a few babes. We’d go around busting up cars and ruining some of the tv production sets for some of these lame local advertisements. We’d make them film it and run it. Then we’d ride around throwing produce and bottles while verbally pressuring any fans we saw wearing other teams apparel, we’d pressure them into committing to the Broncos instead. You kidding me? That’s some quality entertainment with limitless potential. I came up with that in five seconds. No limit to what I could do there. Think about that next time you slog through one of Numby’s new turdlets of wisdom.