John Mcenroe

You Cannot Be Serious

Woody Paige doesn’t belong in the Denver Post sports section.

Paige is nothing more than a sideshow. He is a comic, and the worst kind since he more than often falls flat. In his supreme arrogance Paige believes our young coach ought to hang on his every elder word.

After all, ol’ Woodrow’s been around the Broncos a long time. I heard he knows people. He even has dinner with Mike Shanahan.

Supposedly, Josh McDaniels will not consider the advice or any articles penned by the mighty Paige. When Woodrow recently (and stupidly) told the coach to “Be his own man,” he claims McDaniels in turn wouldn’t even look at him.

Woody Paige Numby

Bear with me folks, this is a long one…

Back in 2008 the great Paige claimed the Broncos weren’t interested in Ryan Clady. He also claimed Clady was an average player and wasn’t too high on him.

At the beginning of the 2008 NFL season, Woody Paige claimed the Broncos would end up 11-5.

Paige claims he was one of the most vocal supporters of Shanahan’s firing in 2008.

I suppose when things started looking bad mid-season, ol’ Woodrow jumped the proverbial ship on the wonderful 11-5 Broncos he predicted.

Come to think of it, Paige probably saw my youtube video in late September of that year, where I claimed Shanahan must go and Cutler didn’t look right, didn’t protect the ball and wasn’t no John Elway. I even went as far to say we should get rid of him, multiple times.  Unfortunately it wasn’t on here for too long, as in those days I had different means of getting on this site. But no matter, I pounded it home until finally they both got their asses booted out the door. Anyone could see Shanahan stayed on too long. Not many seemed to perceive that Huckdort as a poor man’s Favre, if that.

In early 2009 Paige claimed the first mistake of the Josh McDaniels era was hiring Mike Nolan as our defensive coordinator.

Woody Paige

The genius also stated the franchise would be lost if we didn’t pay Cutler gobs of money since the disgruntled QB was off in Nashville sucking on a wooden whistle. Or a sour apple by the looks of him. That’s how far behind those goobers are down there, wooden whistles for cryin’ out loud. Sure would suit that gnarled, misaligned Huckdort. In case you missed it, Jay “Hucks” the ball and “Dort” he gets picked off. Twenty six dorts by the way, I thought he was supposed to be the final piece up their in Chicago.

All off season long, Paige went on and on about how bad the Denver Broncos were shaping up to be. He second guessed every move the coach made and came away from the preseason believing the Broncos would be no better than a 4-12 team. Oh, and Chris Simms was the better quarterback. Insinuating that obviously McDaniels was starting Orton because he had to save face in the Cutler trade. McDaniels didn’t know quarterback talent according to the great Paige.

The Broncos get off to a 3-0 start and Paige goes back on his prediction. This is something you cannot do, but he’s the great Woody Paige and in his sordid world he can evidently do anything and not get called out for it. Paige then claims the Broncos could go 5 and 11, maybe 6 and 10… which was an absolute joke. Talk about weakness.

After the team goes 6-0 all of a sudden the great Paige turns over a new leaf.

‘McDaniels worth his weight in gold.”

Everything McMidas has touched with the Broncos has turned to gold: the management crises, the quarterback conundrum, the wide receiver saga, the defensive coordinator appointment, the 3-4 transition.

The Doom switch to linebacker, the Gloom defense, selecting a running back at the top of the draft (and not a defensive lineman), the free-agent acquisitions in the defensive backfield and at running back and wide receiver, the offensive scheme changes.

The miraculous victory in Cincinnati and the impressive late victories against Dallas, New England and San Diego, the return of Eddie Royal to return man and the returns.

The fist pump, the hoodie, the stars and vertically stripes forever.

And a 6-0 start.

Take a breath and take a bye.

Josh McDaniels has become America’s Prodi-Gee Whiz . . . Man

All of a sudden, the train wreck in Denver Paige told us about for months came safely to a halt. Supposedly now everything McDaniels did was right: practically the opposite of everything Paige bellyached about.

Two losses later, our boy Woodrow believed Chris Simms should be the starter. He talked up Simms like he should have been the starter all along and that Simms was “stronger” in training camp. Kyle from BroncoTalk busted Paige, Kyle attended practically every Broncos training camp practice, and claimed he witnessed the great Paige attend “maybe two,” of them.

I wonder what Paige was doing the rest of the time during Broncos training camp? Sitting on a white bowl somewhere blowing hoagies out his ass? That paper is paying this guy money?

Next we saw Woody’s starting quarterback in action, and it wasn’t pretty. This Paige can’t buy a break. He’s perennially wrong, and when he turns around and heaps praise the team takes an absolute nosedive.

Woody Paige

Predictably, Paige goes back to to his previous stance and bashes the Broncos. All of a sudden, everything McDaniels did is now terrible again. The hoodie that was “forever” is now a major thorn in Paige’s side.

Then this guy adamantly claims we got to pay Elvis Dumervil and Brandon Marshall fifty million plus asap.  Are you kidding me? Brandon Marshall? After all we’ve been through with Marshall? We’re gonna pay him fifty million plus? Are you out of your mind? Good thing McDaniels don’t ever listen to this buffoon.

Josh McDaniels did something to Woody Paige. I’m sure of it. Or didn’t do something. For a while I thought he probably told Paige he gave off a foul odor. Now I’m thinking McDaniels simply treats Paige like a clown. Unbeknown to Paige, that’s exactly what he  is.

I give my opinion, which is based on sound information, thoughtful research and observation…

Earth to Paige:  your opinions suck.

Woody Paige now has his nose so far up Mike Shanahan’s ass he’s choking on the dingleberries and everyone can see it. Bragging about having dinner with Shanahan… talking up the complexion of the former Broncos coach. What an absolute joke. Maybe somebody in Washington might care for a second.

However, the most important upcoming Grudge Match — mark it on your calendar — is in 2013 when the Broncos host the Redskins.

Is that right, eh? That’s the damn grudge match we’re all supposed to be waiting for eh Woodrow? What a fat piece of crap. That’s a bowl full of it. You know what I’m waiting for? The start of the preseason. I’m waiting for the Chargers, that’s the damn grudge match. Woody Paige ought to butt sniff and brown nose all the way to Washington. After all, Paige is a politician – and a poor one at that.

You got political pundits, siding with this one and that one. Then when someone doesn’t do what they want they crap all over them. That’s Paige for you, a biased politician who don’t even seem to care about this team since they don’t do every little thing he wants them to. McDaniels ain’t gonna stroke your ego Paige,  hye’s too smart for that, and considering your recent track record he’s all the better off for it too. I’m telling you this McDaniels hurt poor Woody boy’s feelings somewhere along the way. Damn smart of him not to listen to that loser Paige. McDaniels don’t give him info, and it’s smart. It’s like a Republican talking to a known Liberal reporter or vice versa. You don’t tell them nothing cause they’re out to smear  you. Belichick taught him well.

Paige is fickle, weak, spineless, a loser, and he sucks.

Go to Washington you misshapen fart. You can be Shanahan’s water boy. That would suit you.

We’re in in January now,  and Paige, the Denver Post sports writer is talking up Shanahan and all the great moves he’ll probably make. Paige also predicts the Broncos will go 8-8 this season.

You can’t be serious? Probably the most spineless option too, 8-8 is.

It comes down to this: This guy isn’t serious and he shouldn’t ever pretend to be. He should be stricken from the Denver Post sports page. Send him to the comics section and cut his pay. He’s being paid for this nonsense, and he’s giving the Denver Post a bad name. Unless they are enjoying the mere tabloid nonsense of their “crazy uncle” in the Broncos section.

Therefore, I am striking the name of Woody Paige from this site forever. Stricken from every book and tablet on here, just as Pharoah did to Moses.

From this point forward, “Woody Paige” will forever be known as “Numbnuts.”

Woody Paige Numbnuts

Or, “Numbnuts the Clown.”

Numby claims Josh McDaniels ought to be his own man… Maybe Numby ought to stick to his own words, for once.