Archive for Sea Cucumbers

Broncos vs Panthers Super Bowl 50 – PP’s Prognostication

Sunday, February 7th, 2016

I give the Broncos a better shot to win this game than most of the garbage spewing pundits out there. I believe this defense plays to the level of its competition–as evidenced by the dearth of penalties committed in both playoff games and the absolute clinic they put on the Patriots.

Ever seen Brady look like that two weeks ago? Ever seen that look? Brady honestly looked like he ingested a whole raw sea cucumber during that shellacking.

I’m a believer in this defense and I believe they’ll play Cam Newton like they played Aaron Rodgers earlier this season. I noticed the front four formed a U shaped pocket around him, closing it in and at the same time the defensive backs took away his first read. I think the Panthers are going to have a tough time with this defense. I would imagine one of the linebackers will be left to spy on Cam Newton and we’ll rush four, sometimes three. I used to dread the three man rush, not with this team, they actually get decent pressure with it.

Are you afraid of Greg Olsen? He sure ain’t no Gronk. Ted Ginn Jr., Kevin Norwood, Jerricho Cotchery? I think the Broncos D should handle these boys, at least keep them to 20 points.

Which is what I believe the Broncos need to do, they need to score over 24 points and hold the Panthers to under 20.

I think we’ll know at the half which way this game is going, if it’s close, if the lead is within a touchdown then advantage Broncos. If Carolina gets out to a big lead–like they’ve been doing–then it doesn’t bode well at all.

Can Demaryius Thomas do something? Anything? Can he just have an average friggen game out there? What the hell was that 12 yard fart of a performance last game? Can this 70 million dollar man just have an average game out there? If he does that will be big, same for that Vernon Davis. These are two under-achieving Broncos who can right all their wrongs this year with some decent plays in the Super Bowl.

The rubes, goobers and stooges out there at ESPN question whether the Broncos offense can even mount any sort of comeback if the Panthers get a lead. The answer is yes, that is, if Peyton Manning gets time to throw and doesn’t have a pocket collapsing on him every two seconds. The Broncos offense isn’t a Super Bowl offense, but it ain’t pathetic either. Blocking has been pretty decent in the playoffs from our patchwork line.

As good as Cam Newton is, he still has a penchant for throwing head scratching picks. I think he’ll throw two in this game. One thing I noticed about the Panthers game two weeks ago was the Cardinals were able to run the ball at times on them. If the Broncos are able to get the run going then look out. Broncos offense can’t afford any turnovers of course and Manning has done a pretty good job of protecting the football in the playoffs. Sadly, we only get one half of football from our offense. Last game, there we were with a lead and the ball after the half. What did we get? Three and out. Quick too. Could we have one game where the offense just plays average throughout??

Before I give my prediction for this game I want to mention one Broncos linebacker Danny Trevathan. Earth to Danny: Next time they ask you about free agency on the eve of the Super Bowl just say “No comment.” Are you kidding me? Dreaming of going off to the hapless Bears led by old Fuddy Duddy John Fox and that pick throwing mop-headed Jay Huckdort Cutler goober? Are you even serious? Better clock in a good performance today or I’m calling you out for conduct detrimental to the team.

We all should know the Broncos flaws on offense. They can get better at running back, their offensive line can get better and their third receiver can also be better. It bodes well for the future, even if they lose a linebacker and Malik Jackson the defense will still be very good. This team can actually be back in this position very soon if they draft smart.

Let’s hope this somewhat flawed Broncos offense can protect Manning well enough, run the football well enough and let’s hope the old chicken-parm Hall of Famer has one good show left in him. I saw him throwing the football this week and I agree he did look impressive. I’d imagine the 70 degree weather helps too. I say the Broncos defense holds these overconfident boys to under 20 points and the Broncos play an inspired football this time around instead of cutting a massive Bohemian Cluster Fart.

Broncos 27 Carolina 20

Broncos Underdogs At Home Against Pats

Sunday, January 24th, 2016

As you may know, I distanced myself from the Broncos once they acquired Peyton Manning and predicted that they would not win a Super Bowl within three years of his signing. I came back to the team this year, here is why: Peyton seems humbled and the offense no longer revolves around him.

In March of 2014 I wrote a missive directing John Elway to change the offensive scheme or else. It didn’t quite take until November of that year–which is nigh impossible to do–to change your scheme mid-way through the season rarely works. It needed an entire off season and Manning clearly struggled with it.

Manning struggled period, with everything and I think it finally humbled him. No more throwing the ball fifty times a game Colts offense crap.

So I’m on board, even though I realize this offense ain’t quite there yet. We could get much better on the offensive line, at running back and third receiver.

But here we are in the AFC championship game as the underdogs at home. I don’t quite understand it.

If the Broncos play reasonable offense in the first half and reasonable offense in the second half–they should win this game. Just like they did when they beat the Patriots earlier this year. I don’t care who was injured or what the refs said: if your team gives up 174 yards on the ground then they deserve to lose.

I don’t want to hear about Brady getting the ball to Edelman in 1.7 seconds… so what? How many yards downfield can he get in two seconds? Tackle him, which the Broncos defense is capable of doing.

Then again, I do know my team.

This team has failed to show up in entire halves, especially the offense. Blown coverage on defense left and right, not to mention stupid roughing penalties for hundreds of yards. You never know what you’re going to get with this team. One week it’s fumbles, the next it’s drops, the next it’s picks. Let’s just hope they put in a good effort tomorrow, if they show up and play–especially the offense–if they play reasonably well for both halves they should win this game.

Play defense, run the football and game manage instead of bombs away–that’s a recipe for beating the Patriots. I have a feeling after the last game the Patriots will focus on stopping the run so Peyton Manning better be serviceable.

Now that we’re done with the Peyton Manning offense, now that we’re doing things differently and running the football I wish him well out there. Just as long as he’s playing for another team next year (if he wants to come back)

Broncos 23 Patriots 19

Denver is better than the Chiefs, better defense and more dynamic offense. Hearing all the pundits, the goobers, the knowitalls, sea cucumbers and the charlatans like Mark Schlereth–you’d think the Patriots won 40 to 10 last week. Instead, the Chiefs were driving to tie the game and fumbled it away. Denver at home should be formidable, let’s hope they put in a good effort instead of these farts they’ve been cutting every other week.

John Fox Gone, Peyton Should Go Too

Monday, January 12th, 2015

You know, the Broncos certainly lacked fire in that game yesterday, that embarrassment of a game.

So did the coaches.

Why? Because their “leader” Peyton Manning was stinking the joint up. Is he going to be all rah rah? Nope, don’t think so.

It’s up to the coaches to do that. I didn’t see any fire. I read Elway let the entire coaching staff know they could look elsewhere.

Good.

It’s like they were all ho-hum. Ho-hum, we’ll eventually catch up and win this game. Yeah right.

I noticed the crowd sucked too. Way to reaffirm you’re not the Mile High of old. Bunch of latte sipping, weed smoking, hooka worshiping gooned out hipsters in the stands. They know how to smoke, boo and are at least bright enough to leave early to beat traffic.

I say let Manning walk even if he’s going to play next season. People think that means this team needs to rebuild and we’re done chasing a championship for a while. I would say they were probably the same fools who thought this defense and running game was great when Manning took over.

Like I outlined in my previous post, the Broncos can get much better in one year this time around. Address offensive tackle early in the draft, draft another running back, acquire middle linebacker and safety. Acquire someone who can rush from the middle of the defense.  I would say goodbye to Wes Welker and I would even let Julius Thomas go. Thomas can’t run block for squat, I say let him walk, we can get somebody else to catch and block at TE for less money.

I’ve been impressed with the little we’ve seen of Brock Osweiler. Let him lead this offense, he’s got freakish height and he’s shown athleticism out there. He can move well for a big guy and protects the football for the most part when he’s been out there.

Maybe, just maybe I can finally be on board with the “new” Broncos.

Aren’t You Glad You’re Not A Broncos Fan?

Sunday, January 11th, 2015
The usual suspects...

The usual suspects…

I am.

When are you sea cucumbers gonna realize I am reality?

This is a worse upset than the Ravens game two years ago. The Colts will get squashed next week, the NFC will probably win the Super Bowl but at least the Pats should make a game of it.

The Broncos sure as hell wouldn’t of.

Last March I told Broncos GM John Elway I wanted him to do a few things. He did all of them except the most important one: Draft a running back and change the offense to run around twenty times a game.

Once the draft passed by and we didn’t grab a running back in the 2nd to 4th rounds I said the hell with it. I didn’t update the site. I knew the Broncos wouldn’t change from their “Omaha” pass-happy ways and this season would end badly.

I sure as hell wouldn’t be a part of it.

Fail to do what P.P. Dublinski wants and you’ll get whacked. Every time.

Now I do give John Elway some credit for changing the Broncos offense after the disastrous Rams game this year. They finally changed to the type of offense I wanted. He finally listened to P.P.

Too little, too late.

You can’t really do that mid-season, this kind of change requires an entire offseason and preseason.

I told you people I didn’t like this Peyton Manning to the Broncos deal from day one. Day &%&ing one. I said it would not result in a Super Bowl win and it hasn’t. Baltimore embarrassment, Super Bowl embarrassment, now this embarrassing  loss. Isn’t it wonderful?

John Fox: Perennial Playoff Loser

John Fox: Perennial Playoff Loser

John Fox should go and so should Peyton Manning. That old fuddy-duddy Fox doesn’t do jack squat, he’s uninspiring and they should make him the fall guy for these terrible post-season losses.

They should tell Manning to move on, maybe retire, better yet trade him to some desperate team.

None of this will probably happen. Quite honestly I’d rather see Brock Osweiler get the nod at QB.

I said that three years ago. We could have fielded a different team by now. But I digress…

Quite possibly, there is a silver lining to all this.

First, the Broncos defensive acquisitions in 2014 panned out pretty well. Demarcus Ware returned to form, the safety T.J. Ward was good and Talib was decent. All three were good pickups and the fact that the Broncos defense still isn’t that great after acquiring them buttresses my position all along: No, the Broncos defense isn’t great and hasn’t been for years. Sorry. The Broncos need help at the other safety position opposite Ward, middle linebacker and they need someone who can rush the passer from the inside. The “Colts style” bookends of Ware and Miller aren’t enough, people should get that by now, they need someone in the middle, either a linebacker or lineman who can rush the passer.

The Broncos need an offensive tackle opposite Clady and they need a big-time running back. CJ Anderson proved he is a good player this year, he’s not great though. He’s no LeVeon Bell. The Broncos need a Bell type who can take the ball to the house when a hole appears and also catch some. Someone big and fast. CJ Anderson is fine, I’d honestly give up on Montae Ball, never seen any moves or power from him. Keep Hillman for occasional third down duty.

All this could be accomplished in one offseason. The Broncos could actually be formidable next year, but that also hinges on one thing: Peyton Manning.

Peyton Manning Forehead

Something ain’t quite right in Denver…

My God, can this guy even function in a run heavy offense?

He may not be able to. I say cue Brock Osweiler if that’s the case.

Manning’s greatness may hinge on the pass heavy offense he’s relied on over the years. The Dan Fouts, Dan Marino pass, pass, pass offense. You know, the kind that doesn’t really win Super Bowls. He may need to constantly pass to get in a rhythm. This could be very bad.

Or he could adapt over an entire offseason, the Broncos could draft a great running back and P.P. may even root for them since I have someone on the offense to watch besides “Omaha.”

Anyone else sick of the commercials?

Somewhere, Peter Tebow is raising a Mojito and laughing.

Karma Elway, Karma…

 

 

An Open Letter to John Elway

Thursday, March 6th, 2014
Elway Teeth

Big Daddy Elway better pony up for a Safety.

I have assurances that this missive will reach Broncos General Manager John Elway, so here goes.

As most of you people may know, I P.P. Dublinski did not approve of the Peyton Manning signing from the start and here is why:

First, I liked the direction the team was headed in. The Broncos had a run-first mentality. Run-first, play good defense and pass well enough to win. It worked at times, but much of the blame was cast on the quarterback who was in reality only deserving of some of it. The team as a whole was mediocre and could be upgraded to perform much better with this philosophy.

Rubes, goobers and Elway cronies in the media such as Shannon Sharpe, Mark Schlereth and Tom Jackson claimed the Broncos defense was “great,” the running game was amazing as was the offensive line.

It was the quarterback ruining the show.

When the Broncos signed Peyton Manning many of the fans went crazy. They jumped for joy.

I knew better.

I knew the Broncos offense wasn’t very good, the defense wasn’t very good and I knew that we’d start to run things the Peyton Manning way. When Willis McGahee claimed he would run for more yards with Manning, I laughed out loud. He obviously didn’t know the Manning style offense of traps, draws, traps.

Omaha… Omaha… Throw, Throw, Throw…

Third down and two yards to go? Throw.

You’ve got to be kidding me.

Furthermore, I wouldn’t have bellyached one bit if the former Broncos QB was supplanted by Brock Osweiler at mid season. That probably would have happened. We would have started a low-priced, young, athletic quarterback with promise and I would have been fine with it.

Peyton Manning Broncos

I don’t want to see any more Papa John’s commercials either, winners don’t do commercials until they retire.

But you of all people John Elway should have known this team was in for an ass whooping. Trying to win a Super Bowl by riding Peyton Manning’s arm? It’s a flawed concept.

You should know the Broncos need a solid running game and a defense instead of relying almost totally on this one-dimensional pocket passing crap.

It doesn’t work, it never wins championships. Dan Fouts, Dan Marino — the pass, pass, pass crap doesn’t work against the very good teams.

Trouble is, the Omaha crap does work in the regular season against the poor and mediocre teams.

It doesn’t work against a Forty Niners defense or a Seahawks defense. You may add a few NFC teams to this list when the regular season starts — some teams are getting better. The Seahwawks covered the Broncos receivers, they pressured Manning and they did not respect the Broncos paltry running attack one bit. The Broncos defense held up for a half but was then worn down. Few big plays were made by the defense because the team doesn’t have playmakers in key positions.

Broncos first Super Bowl? Very average offense, great defense = Loss

Broncos next three Super Bowls? Great QB, lousy running games, very average defenses = Losses

Broncos next two Super Bowls? Great QB, great running games, above average defenses = Wins

Woody Paige

Woody Paige: Last seen giving you 48 reasons why the Broncos would win the big show.

There ain’t no way no how the Broncos are going to win a championship with a very average running game and an average to slightly above average defense. Very few teams can accomplish such a feat in the post season no matter who the QB is. I don’t want to hear a list of excuses from  buffoons like Woody Paige, I don’t want to hear about the Broncos having an amazing defense and I don’t want to hear that all we need to do is get better on defense and get a couple more good receivers.

I have been detached from this team for the last two seasons and it has definately served me well. When the Broncos got beat by the Ravens in the first round I was totally unfazed. When the Broncos got killed by the Seahawks in the Super Bowl I predicted it right here early that very day.

In order for you Mr. Elway, in order for you to regain the powerful alliance of P.P. Dublinski you need to accomplish five things this offseason. Fail these and fail miserably.

I don’t think you’ll do it.

Surprise me.

Hey, I’m only trying to help you to not get embarassed deep in the playoffs next year.

First and foremost, the Broncos need a big-time Safety. Big-time. Get the best, whoever is available. I’d prefer a free agent over drafting since the Broncos have shown they are incapable of drafting a safety in recent years.

Number one top priority right there. Someone who hits hard and sets the tone. Get him at all costs. It’s a glaring hole in this defense. Do everything possible to get the best. Break the proverbial bank on this signing.

Second, acquire a hard hitting, playmaking linebacker. We need someone making plays at this position. Not someone serviceable or “fast” or “can cover.” Hitting hard and making plays. The Broncos are incomplete at linebacker and need one more big-time player at that position.

Third, acquire a ball hawking playmaking cornerback. I don’t care about someone who can just cover, I’m talking about a consistent playmaker at this position similar to a Sam Shields out of Green Bay.  Someone who gets interceptions, I don’t care if they get burned once in a while. This team needs turnovers.

Out of these three players, two must play at an All Pro level. One can just be solid. That’s three players this defense desperately needs.

I would not let Shaun Phillips go. He is the “Alfred Williams” of this defense. Where else would he or Dominique Rodgers-Cromartie go anyways? The Forty Niners? The Seahawks? I’d sign these two as long as they’re reasonable. Certainly let Decker, Knowshon and Ayers go. Woodyard too, I think he’s overrated. I’d re-sign Ayers if he doesn’t ask for much. He is a good rotational player worth a few good plays at times.

Elway needed a running game to really win.

Elway needed a running game to really win.

That said, people who think that Peyton Manning had a bad day and the Broncos just need to bolster their defense to beat the Forty Niners/Seahawks are kidding themselves. Anyone who thinks the Broncos just need to bolster their defense and upgrade their wide receivers are also sea cucumbers with a sizable lack of mental faculty.

Fourth, the Peyton Manning show in Denver needs to be toned down and he needs to split his time with a legitimate running game.

A legitimate running game with a legitimate running back.

I really don’t think Peyton Manning is willing to do it. I don’t think the Broncos brass is willing to do it either. I believe it’s a huge problem and the Broncos won’t adapt.
The type of running game I’m talking about is where the Broncos can line it up on first down and run three times for another first down. Against a good defense, mind you.

Is Montae Ball the answer? I say maybe, but maybe not. I wouldn’t count on it. Hopefully he progresses more. But if I were the Broncos I would probably draft yet another back in the third or fourth rounds. Someone with size and speed. Someone who can really take it to the house when they break free.

We don’t have this player currently.

Sign or draft a new running back with size and speed. I’ll add a second minor part: Do the Broncos even have a fullback? What the hell happened to us?

The Broncos need a legitimate 1,400 yard rusher. They must acquire this or they must split the load between two workhorse running backs.

Do you think they’ll use a fullback? Do you think we’ll see 35 touchdowns for Manning and 20 from our running game?

I don’t. And therein lies the biggest rub.

That is the type of balanced offense that could win a Superbowl and I don’t think the Broncos will adapt. I don’t think Manning would be happy lining it up and running a lot more and doing more of the play action pass thing.

You know that thing that keeps good defenses guessing? That buys that split second because they actually need to honor your running game?

I don’t care about regular season stats. I don’t want to see Manning pass for 55 touchdowns.

Some people think that’s amazing. I don’t at all.

Fifth, the Broncos must commit to the run.

They must play like a Super Bowl team during the regular season.

If they’re smart the Broncos would run the football a lot more and reduce Peyton Manning’s role to where the game doesn’t rest almost completely on his shoulders.

If it’s the same old pass, pass Omaha crap. Run a trap here, run a draw there — then the Broncos are one good opposing defense or one foul day of weather away from getting bounced early in the post season.

Or God forbid embarassed in the Super Bowl.

Yet again.

NFL League Source

League source says: “Just blame the defense.”

It won’t be funny this time either. It will be a series of unforgettable, unforgivable black marks on the franchise.

I will blame John Elway the most. He should know.

I’m telling you people, if this Peyton Manning experiment doesn’t win a Super Bowl, consider it a failure and it will have set the team back.

The ball’s in your court Big Daddy Elway.

P.S. It’s gotten awful quiet in the comments since reality showed up in the Super Bowl.

P.P.’s Seahawks Broncos Super Bowl XLVIII Review (Uncensored)

Tuesday, February 4th, 2014

Seahawks 43 Broncos 8

Monday, February 3rd, 2014

It seems I gave the Broncos more credit than they deserved in my pre-game prediction. I had them actually scoring 20 points in a loss.

Aren’t you glad you listened to me though? Aren’t you glad that you didn’t buy into the over-hyped Broncos?

Poor saps out there probably crying in their beers. They don’t know what the hell just whacked them…

How about reality?

Oh yeah baby, cause I am reality.

Aren’t you glad you didn’t buy in last year too?

I sure as hell am. Like I’ve said since day one of acquiring Manning… DAY $)&%in ONE… THE BRONCOS WILL NOT WIN A CHAMPIONSHIP THIS WAY.

Oh let’s  see, we’ll take a team that ain’t ready on offense or defense (but everyone and their brother said it was a great team, they just had an inept QB holding them back)

We’ll take a team with a sub-par defense and very average running game and we’ll just tack on a hall of fame QB in the twilight of his years and we’ll become instant Super Bowl contenders… Right?

What a joke. What a disgrace. The whole damn team is practically Peyton Manning now. I don’t like it one bit. If he sucks, the Broncos suck and there ain’t no plan B. He’s about as mobile as Kyle Orton and if you pressure him he does his best Jerry Lewis impression out there. Too bad this team ain’t well rounded on offense, you know, like a plan B of a solid running game. A balanced attack like John Elway and Terrell Davis had.

Elway should have known, shouldn’t he? You can’t rely on a QB–even a great one–to be the whole effin’ show.

But oh no, we’re gonna be this finesse “pocket passing” Omaha!? Omaha!? crap.  Take your Omaha and stick it where the sun don’t shine pal. I want a damn rushing attack, some play action passing… but we won’t get that as long as Pumpkinhead is running the show.

Isn’t it great to be detached from this team for two years now? I sure as hell believe so. Last year when they crapped out in the playoffs I just watched as an unaffected observer. Same with this season, I didn’t buy into ANY of the hype. Even when they were breaking regular season records. I knew this team was weak and lacking. Not a Super Bowl running game, not a Super Bowl defense.

Was surprised the Broncos managed to get to the Super Bowl though, I didn’t quite recognize just how utterly sorry and pathetic the AFC was this year.

Hell, do you people even need another Broncos blog? All I read was a bunch of rah-rahhing crap and gums flapping about stats.

I told it to you people straight from the get-go. Straight from day *&%(*&ing ONE of the Manning debacle.

I could have saved you all sorts of time and anguish if you just listened to the IRON words of ol’ P.P. Dublinski.

Those who have an ear will hear what the Dark Ninja of the Depths is saying…

There should be 200 days of P.P.

Two hundred freaking days of P.P.

On every Colorado station, on every Colorado sports page.

Two hundred days of P.P. telling it like it is. Telling the rubes and the goobers to get lost. Ruling with an iron fist and smacking down sea cucumbers and their faulty logics, their inept thinkery, their debauched mental ineptitude left and right. Left and &^*&in right.

I am ruling and vindicated. Once again.

The rubes and the goobs must have been shell-shocked tonight.

But I sure as hell ain’t.

More to come, much more to come.

P.P. Mode: Seahawks 31 Broncos 20

Sunday, February 2nd, 2014

The Denver Broncos managed to reach the Super Bowl by default this year.

The horrid, decrepit state of the AFC made the Broncos look like world beaters. I’ve enjoyed the pitiful analysis of this team, they’re over-hyped and tonight they will be over-matched.

Like I said, the Forty Niners and Seahawks both have a solid running game, a solid defense and a dynamic quarterback who is not great but good enough. The Broncos have an average running game, an average defense and mainly rely on a passing attack led by a hall of fame quarterback.

The Denver Broncos are a glass cannon.

This team beat the lowly Chargers and the shell-of-their-former-selves Patriots at home in the playoffs?

I sure as hell ain’t impressed. Those teams and those defenses aren’t very good. The Broncos failed to put up over 30 points in each of those games.

I can’t even believe the Patriots were 12-4 this year. Tells you something about the AFC right there. Pathetic. That team was running on fumes for most of the season. Belichik should’ve got coach of the year. It was their coaching that kept them afloat.

I told you people to not waste your time, to not buy into this Manning-led Broncos team and I will be vindicated soon. They will never win a Super Bowl led by Manning. This team could be different right now. We could have used his money to build a solid running game and defense.

You know, something that can actually win a championship.

Heads will roll. Miscreants and the misinformed will see the light.

Rubes will remember why they fear the night.

The Colt Manning led Broncos are about to get flushed down the biggest bowl in football.

The Chargers or Patriots should have taken the humiliating hit instead.

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