Woody Paige’s latest mailbag was brought to my attention.

I give my opinion, which is based on sound information, thoughtful research and observation, unlike some kid in Arizona who is a Broncos fan and writes a blog, without proper grammar or punctuation or understanding, from his mom’s laundry room and think he knows what he’s talking about, and people actually pay attention. – Sage Paige

Woody Paige gives his opinions based on sound information, thoughtful research and observation.

Sound information, thoughtful research and observation led Paige to believe the Broncos would be 11 and 5 last season.

The same brilliant thinkery no doubt led Paige to the prediction of 4 and 12 this season.

The mighty pen of Paige is irrefutable, his awe-inspiring intelligence and Broncos analysis is clearly beyond most of us.

Hell, that’s why he’s a paid sportswriter.

Paige’s amazing tact led us to believe Ryan Clady isn’t all that. Knowshon Moreno should be playing for the Chargers, Mike Nolan was the first mistake of the McDaniels era and when Jay Huckdort Cutler was traded, the franchise would be in peril for years to come. The train wreck that is the McDaniels era Broncos would be 4 and 12 this season. All off season long there were  smears, gloom and doom about how dismal the Broncos are and will be. The latest gem was how Chris Simms should be starting over Kyle Orton.

It was Kyle from Broncotalk.net who recently called out the lies and distortions of Paige, and Paige saw fit to try – and I repeat try – to come back with a personal attack. I find it interesting that Paige seems to think Kyle has poor punctuation and grammar. Paige also refers to himself as a “Joker.” I have a feeling Paige is not only feeling the heat from the Broncotalk article, but this site as well. And if so, that Tiki, and I should wear it as a badge of honor. Kyle points out Paige was only present for a couple of practices during training camp. His lazy journalism exposed.

After all, his decrepit mind was on display for all to see as he penned a plea to try and stop any trade of Jay Huckdort Cutler. Obviously, when Cutler left town the Broncos would never be the same, not for years anyways until they got rid of the new punk kid coach who can’t do anything right. In his supreme arrogance Paige probably figured his awe inspiring logic simply couldn’t be wrong. He could then sit on a stool somewhere, lapping down stale gin and hoagies, whilst boofing and pooting and generally giving off a foul odor. He didn’t need to carefully watch the practices, or even the preseason games I’m sure. His mind was made up.

Paige is feeling the heat, and I’ve been battling his failed logic all year. I am hoping though, that my 9 and 7 prediction will not come to pass. I didn’t say the Broncos would be a Superbowl contender, I said the Broncos would be much improved and hopefully in the playoffs, and we are improved and we should be in the playoffs. In the running, not a 4 and 12 train wreck.

It’s good that we got rid of that pick throwing, GQ posing, overrated, overpaid goonball Huckdort Cutler. Let him fold and single-handedly blow games for some other team. We need to get better at the point of attack on defense and offense. Some beef on the interior line and another threat on the defensive line to compliment Dumervil.  This team is heading in the right direction, not a 4 and 12 train wreck. This is a team that needs just a few more pieces of the puzzle, not a train wreck expansion team like John Pencil Neck Poindexter Clayton would have you believe.

This team has proven they can step up and beat a good team, they’ve also proven they can lose to a bad one, a very bad one. Such inconsistency infuriates me. Something tells me that five days off on the bye week triggered a flashback in some of these players, a flashback to the old, failed ass end of the Shanahan era.

The Broncos can right the ship, all is not lost, but at this point not getting into the playoffs will be a fetid disappointment. Unacceptable. I want this team to get valuable post season experience, might I remind you it’s something Paige’s boy Jay Huckdort Cutler has never done, and may not for a long time.

Kyle Orton has proven Paige wrong, he is a legitimate starting quarterback in this league. Paige even writes in that recent foul smelling article that Orton won’t beat you with the deep ball. This is an absolute joke. Where was Paige in the first half of the Redskins game? Kyle Orton’s deep ball is fine, when we are running the ball and receivers are open.

How about Cutler’s deep throws in and out of a Broncos uniform? That’s right, they usually end up in the hands of the other team.

The correct analysis, and not the one grafted from some bum filling his face with nachos on the sideline, the right call isn’t the failure to produce a  magical “deep ball,” (one that every other QB in the league can supposedly throw, and often for touchdowns). No, Orton won’t often beat you alone, when the running game is shut down, and the receivers aren’t getting open, he’s not going to carry the team through that difficulty most times. But the fact is, most quarterbacks in the league won’t either. A Peyton Manning, a Brady are capable of that. Surely, Jay Huckdort Cutler isn’t capable of that either.

Orton protects the ball, has proven he can win and drive the field against good teams and he had one… -one- bad game that was very much his fault.  Kyle Orton is the Denver Broncos starting quarterback unless we decide we’re not going to or cannot run the football anymore. You can draft some guy in the third or fourth round next year, sure, but he’ll certainly be a backup for a good while unless he’s the second coming of Peyton Manning.

Not to mention this offense takes a while to get comfortable with, what was it that Tom Brady said… three years?

Woody Paige has been proven wrong time and time again, I don’t need to go over every point again and again. I truly believe he is starting to become unhinged. I am going to start recording ESPN’s Around the Horn episodes. I am waiting for Paige to get on there and have the meltdown. He’ll probably paint his hair green, douse himself with kerosene and light himself on fire. He will probably prove to be the crazy old snake oil salesman, boofing dust, with a green tongue lapping about, telling everyone how wonderful the house he built on sand is, and that they should buy one too.

Paige’s poorly written and weak attempt at besmirching bloggers, which he has done before citing “Cheeto eating basement dwellers,”  proves he is starting to become irritatingly aware of his flawed thinkery. Even the dimwitted dweebs who follow Paige around like a trove of scared puppy dogs, praising whatever turd he shovels their way; even these people are starting to wake up to his porous lies and distortions.

The sea cucumber should turn his attention to other things, maybe just baseball. After all, a dolt focused on two or three tasks may become halfway decent at just one someday.

If there are kids reading this, then allow me to make up for my display last week. I was pissed off that the Broncos showed weakness, and Paige’s new favorite came in and made a throw on first and ten, when we’re driving and needed just a field goal to help us, throws a not-even-close ball to a not open receiver and kills us.

If there are kids out there reading this, young and old, allow me to promulgate a life lesson: Always remain a healthy skeptic.

When there’s some so-called “expert,” some “genius,” going off spouting a bunch of crap, always remain a healthy skeptic.

Consider their words, but do your own research. No matter how sure they seem to be in their prestigious analysis.

Don’t just take someone’s word for it, because of their position, their rank, because of their social status  or certain education. As a Dark Ninja I continually run missions against some of our so-called “best minds,” and I come away highly unimpressed and almost embarrassed at their sheer lack of mental acuity.

The esteemed, enlightened  Sage Paige is getting his proverbial ass kicked with facts by Cheeto eating basement dwellers. All off season and season long for that matter.

Woody Paige is a golden example to us all, that you don’t necessarily need even a modicum of common sense to write for a syndicated newspaper.

Finally, I am sticking by my assessment that Paige is delusional and still believes Jay Huckdort Cutler is playing for the Denver Broncos. If you take his amazing insights and apply them to the Bears, you’re left with nothing but startling, earth shattering accuracy: 4 and 12, fire the head coach and bench the QB.