Woody Paige: It’s Time to Bench Jay Cutler

That’s right, Huckdort Jay is killing the team up there in Chicago. Probably three losses due to dorts. Huckdort could’ve been the hero, he could’ve been John Elway in the fourth quarter but instead: he dorted.

The last one was the immaculate dort. Not a receiver around for miles and no chance in hell of being a touchdown to win the game.

According to Woody Paige’s indisputable logic it’s time for the Bears to bench Cutler and start Caleb Hanie. The great Caleb Hanie is waiting in the wings, they don’t pay him and keep him on the roster for nothin.  Surely Huckdort Jay has been a detriment to the team, surely he can’t throw the deep ball with accuracy and surely he’s been killing the team’s chances of winning games.

Paige, who has called for the benching of Kyle Orton after two bad games for the offense and two bad throws.

Up there in Chicago, they’re up to 17 bad throws.

I told a friend of mine four dorts just before the San Francisco game last night, he predicted two. I don’t t know why I went so high, the 49ers ain’t all that, but I just had a feeling.

Huckdort even out dorted my prediction.

You see them analysts after the game? Bending over backwards to point out some of the throws were definitely, absolutely, positively not the fault of Jay Huckdort Cutler? What the hell was that?

You think they’d do the same for Orton? I doubt it, after all, Jay Huckdort Cutler is a Pro Bowler. Let’s not forget that one folks. If Orton threw 17 picks he would be the laughing stock of the league, hell McDaniels would have benched him well before that number of picks. Unacceptable.

Well not so for Huckdort, Huckdort Jay is a Pro Bowler with a golden arm. Huckdort Jay is the franchise we traded away to the Bears and deserves excuse after excuse for almost single-handedly killing the team.

This year and last.

A million dollar arm with a ten cent head. A ten cent head and a five cent haircut.

I don’t know how Lovie keeps a straight face when they look over some of these picks on the sidelines. You see that first dort? Just throw it away, but he can’t help himself. This is probably why McDaniels knew he had to go and was going to have a hell of a time working with this gooned out pick thrower. He don’t learn.

18 dorts last year and how many fumbles? He don’t protect the ball.

He don’t protect the ball, don’t look right and he ain’t no John Elway.

He is killing the Bears team and it’s time to start Caleb Hanie. Give this Hanie a look and if it’s a disaster just put Huckdort back in at halftime, right Woody Paige?

In Paige’s miserable, babbling, flawed universe we’d bench Orton and create a bona fide quarterback controversy at the midway point of the season with a 6 and 2 record.

If anyone deserves to be benched, it’s Jay Huckdort Cutler for his unbelievable interceptions that are piling up and may even reach an inconceivable but possible thirty dorts.

Paige is so demented, I bet he still thinks Huckdort is our quarterback. I bet Paige has been watching Chicago every week instead of the Broncos, since they got our franchise and has the two teams mixed up. It must be. The 4 and 12 record and calling for the quarterback to be benched are genius if you’re talking about the Chicago Bears.

I read an article from that Kyle over there at BroncoTalk. He knows. He effin’ knows Paige’s sordid game. Kyle thinks Paige may have had that article to bench Orton just waiting to run since the preseason. Just waiting to pounce, and he’s probably right. Paige’s deception and distortion, trying to make himself look like a genius and it always blows up. I’ve come to the conclusion that Paige isn’t serious. He’s not serious.

The problem is Paige has poor tact, he peddles distortions and poor logic left and right, but yet he’s given a pedestal to do so and is considered a “prominent voice in the Denver sports media.” That is a joke, and a disgrace. This guy, who is perennially wrong, this guy represents you and me the fans? What a joke. The rest of the media picks right up on it, “Denver media already calling for the benching of Orton.” What an absolute disgrace.

Paige needs to go, I don’t need to list how many times he’s been plain wrong. He needs to go, he is guilty of conduct detrimental to the team and his columns have spiraled into laughable tabloid nonsense. Especially this year since they didn’t get the coaches, players or quarterback he wanted. Maybe it’s time to cover a new team?

The reason I was pissed at this Pittsburgh game, besides the fact that the town has an odor, poor service, and inadequate everything, is that it tempered the enthusiasm of these dorts a bit. We have our own problems, we can’t run the effin’ football. I’d like to hear the analysts point out that Moreno ran into the referee, that the team can’t run the football and the receivers aren’t doing a good job of getting open. I’d like to hear them comment on our poor offensive line play as of late. They probably won’t, since Orton isn’t a golden armed Pro Bowler that poses for GQ. Buit no, our problems are clear: it’s just that Orton can’t throw downfield. He can’t throw the deep ball. He ain’t no winner.

How’s that deep ball up there in Chicago, eh? The same as it was last year in Denver I suppose. And that’s coming from the supposed master of deep balls with better receivers and a better offensive line. What was it 18 picks last year how many fumbles? Weren’t the Bears surely on the road to the playoffs?

We need to run the damn football and pass protect better. Our offense as a whole has been decrepit the last two games. They need to get their heads out of their asses. I said last week was a must win game, a statement game and I was shamed because of this decrepit offense. The playcalling was also unimaginative. The defense showed up, at least. These last two games have been close up until the fourth quarter, because of the defense, but with no help from the offense whatsoever they broke down. You can ask only so much of your defense, so many times, and without any help from the offense you can’t win like that.

Now we will see if the running game and the offense as a whole has been remedied in Washington. This Redskins team’s offense sucks. However, they have a good defensive front seven. This is exactly what the Ravens and Pittsburgh had, it was a big key in shutting down the Broncos offense the last two weeks so we’ll see how they’ve adjusted. I said we better win the Pittsburgh game or lose close. Well, we better damn sure win this Washington game. Then, taking San Diego to task will give the Broncos an 8 and 2 record, and should shut the pie holes of losers like Paige at least. The Baltimore and Pittsburgh game showed the Broncos Achilles heel, the way to attack them on defense, it is better for it to happen now, during midseason and fix it, than the first game in the playoffs. The playoffs which I fully expect to see the Broncos enter and be competitive after years of misses and mediocrity under the ass end of the Shanahan era.

But whatever, the room erupted last night, especially on the final game breaking dort and on the fourth dort where I almost blew out a disc when I jumped up after seeing Huckdort got rolled for good measure in addition to getting picked off. More importantly, they lost and our draft pick is looking better by the minute.