Archive for Huckdort

The Misfit Bowl Tonight – Bears vs. Dolphins

Thursday, November 18th, 2010

This could very well be the game of the year tonight, the land of misfit losers: Jay “Huckdort” Cutler and Brandon “They’re not getting the ball to me enough” Marshall. Set your DVR’s for this one folks, it could be laugh a minute entertainment.

Jay Huckdort Cutler

"Beelb?"

What to watch for tonight:

Hucky Jay: If Huckdort isn’t throwing picks he’s probably getting sacked or fumbling. When it’s third and long or when the Bears are nearing the end zone it’s Dort central. Look for him to throw dorts at the worst possible moments, also known as the ” Timely Dort.”

BRANDON MARSHALL

B. Marsh: Brandon Marshall is coming apart at the seams–even in games the Dolphins are winning. Last week Marshall was penalized for chucking the football in frustration and he also chewed out the quarterback (whoever the hell they have throwing now) multiple times because he ain’t getting the ball enough. Watch for steam emanating from Marshall’s helmet tonight after every ball that doesn’t come his way.

Categories : Broncos News, Huckdort
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I am Suing Horvil Tiki

Tuesday, September 7th, 2010

This devilish imp has been harassing this site for two weeks now, and he’s calling my home. I have since blocked his number but he’s going around to different payphones now it seems.  I am being harassed and I am suing that devilish island imp. My lawyer informed me that I could go viral with the first piece of evidence, Exhibit A here from last Friday night. I put that imp on speakerphone so you can all see what BS I’ve been going through.

Let’s get something straight: this is my site and it was given to me completely at the beginning of this year by two lazy goobers who didn’t know what they were doing. I provide good Broncos information–my acuity and oracle powers have been downright frightening in their truth and authenticity. I began the lone conquest to run Jay “Huckdort” Cutler out of Denver months before anyone. I showed you people the light! I said this kid don’t look right, don’t protect the ball and he ain’t no John Elway. He don’t look right, get another one is what I says.

I ushered Mike Shanahan out of Denver, I said he’s stayed on too long and he can’t field a defense. Enough of signing and drafting poor character players out of desperation. I told you Josh McDaniels was a genius one month after we acquired him. I heralded him as a  genius who would put his foot down on the spoiled me-first practicing without pads players and that’s exactly what he’s been doing.

I penned my 2010 want list earlier this year that included two new receivers, two new offensive linemen, two defensive linemen, a decent backup for Orton and a big running back. We did all of it, and I’m confident Bowlen and Co. read yours truly for valuable insight. When Numby at the Denver Post was pleading, ” Go to Nashville–get Jay Huckdort Cutler back at any cost–don’t let the franchise get away.” I said the exact opposite. I pointed out this overrated, mop-headed loser can’t keep far enough away from Denver, good riddance, and get another one he don’t look right. He ain’t no winner, he throws picks at the worst possible moment and I happen to know they think the world of wooden whistles down there in Nashville. That’s how far behind they are down there, going crazy over wooden whistles–I even found a wooden pinball table passing through that joint. I said that joint suits that Huckdort–get rid of him, leave him down there in Nashville and get what you can for him in a trade. And we did, Bowlen didn’t eat that GQ wanna-be, Pro Bowl only by defualt pick throwing  Dort’s crap. Bowlen listened to reason, he listened to P.P.

When losers and buffoons were crying 4-12, 5-11, 3-13 I said 9-7 at the beginning of last year. One game off–unlike some of these lazy journalists and “Senior Analysts”–I know my team.

When Nolan left, I said big deal. Incredible some of the lament that went on out there. I said screw him–it’s the players and the system that counts. The new system is in place and McDaniels has a heavy hand in it anyways. Being the reincarnation of the great Sun Tzu, McDaniels has defensive acuity in addition to an offensive mind.

I said Brandon Marshall is gone at the beginning of last season, and I stayed true throughout. A hug here and there didn’t sway me one bit. I knew he was gone this offseason. McDaniels ain’t gonna eat his crap. I said good riddance and we’ll spread his production around. You don’t pay Marshall 50 million plus just to bench him in a game with playoff implications.

I am the greatest thing this site ever had. My Broncos information is rife with acuity. What did you get from the previous owners, eh? A bunch of hastily scrawled nonsense maybe a handful of people had time to even try to understand? Blind fanboyism–I wouldn’t doubt that Tiki would do backflips and party like it’s 1999 if we signed Don Knotts to starting nose tackle. If we signed Abe Vigoda to wide receiver this Tiki would think he’s the second coming of Jerry Rice.

I think the last thing that Tiki did was talk up “Corey Boyd”–that should tell you everything right there. Boyd, a guy who never even stepped on the field for us in one single game. That’s genius right there. Unbelievable.

Not to mention this “Tiki” is probably a fraud. Who the hell name’s their kid “Horvil” anyways, eh? What the hell is that.

Recipes on a Denver Broncos site? Talk about falling flat.

I’m sure you people will take my side on this, now that you clearly see the BS I’ve been putting up with. I bet it will even turn some of you water bong Tiki worshipers to my side. See the light. I am reality and I am respect. My daughter recently said “Dad, who’s the Asian man ringing the phone all the time?” I’m tired of the harassment. I’ve had enough of this and I am suing that Tiki–if that’s his real name. I’ll find out. He probably thinks he’s safe out there in Saipan–but Saipan is a US territory–oh yeah. He ain’t safe from my litigation, ain’t no way no how.

The nerve of that Tiki loser, calling my house. He’s got some balls.

P.S. I happened to meet with Father John in Charleston and he’s given me all assurances the devilish imp’s incantations will fall flat. So if you’re reading this “Tiki”–remember to stick that in your hooka pipe and smoke it with Chris Simms you lazy bum.

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Sporting News Predicts Broncos 4-12 Record

Sunday, August 29th, 2010

I wonder what elderly mind came up with this one.

I wonder what “senior analyst” came up with this, eh?

What a joke, a may not see a Superbowl team out there, but this team sure as hell ain’t 4-12 the season is absolutely lost–cash in your season tickets horrible.

This Sporting News, a once somewhat respected rag has lost credibility here and it ain’t worth the paper its printed on.

I will wipe my ass with the Sporting News 2010 NFL preview–that rag will get exactly what it deserves.

That is, if it comes in the mail free, which it usually does cause like other print mediums that are struggling, they give it away in hopes of luring better advertisers.

What is this a time warp, eh? These guys caught in 2009 with the likes of Peter King, John Clayton and Numby at the Denver Post? At least that King changed his ways, he actually came out to Denver and did a decent piece in the offseason–probably to cover for his lazy journalism last year.

Even that dope at the Denver Post wouldn’t say 4 and 12 this year, even that Numby–who don’t know nothin, and is perennially wrong–even that Numby wouldn’t stoop this low, and he even hates the starting quarterback.

I don’t know what they’re smoking over there at the Sporting News, but they’ve turned a once respectable rag into a piece of crap–literally.

Do the right thing if you got that mag:

Throw it in the woods.

Horvil Tiki

All mention of Horvil Tiki is going straight into the spam folder. I’ve had enough of this, you people, you water bong Tiki worshippers out there are living in the past. You live in the past, you die in the past that’s what the great Ditka said.

That Tiki is a train wreck and was 100% derelict with this site. That “panff” was the one who put the site up, that Tiki didn’t know how to use bold type, nevermind the ability to create or maintain a website. I’m not going to carry him like that Panff did, I’m not going to sit here and make him look good because he don’t know nothing.

I was the one who brought this site to greatness–even when he was here.

I saw the logs, I saw the jump in traffic, which has continued to this day.

I’ve brought this site to greatness. This is MY site, the domain name simply a shadow of things past, a shadow of the derelict, misspelled past.

My diction is flawless and my commitment unchallenged.

My Broncos information stands the test of time, I have been perennially right–my words of iron.

I have wisdom upon my brow, strength in my right and countenance in my left.

And oh yeah, the girth is legendary.

I brought this site to greatness, you people know good quality Broncos information and I am the purveyor of it.

I ran Huckdort right out of town. Right out of town before anyone even knew what the hell was going on–I knew he didn’t look right.

I helped run Shanahan out of town.

I helped run that Brandon Marshall out of town, I believe Bowlen and McDaniels read this site, they make an awful lot of the moves I call for. They know integrity. They know ingenuity, they know acuity and I have it in spades baby, oh yeah.

Got these people saying Marshall will be back, “if Marshall is back,” unbelievable–he was and is gone and I knew it. 100%

I knew we’d kick that pick-throwing mop headed dort to the curb. He didn’t look right, he didn’t protect the ball and he ain’t no John Elway.

The dark reign of P.P. continues! My Broncos wisdom is downright frightening!

Frightening!

Like Norris Weese calling for a passing play, you water bong Tiki worshippers better get used to having your cries falling on deaf ears. That Horvil is gone and he ain’t coming back. He left this site in shambles and I brought it to greatness. I will sue him if he tries to besmirch my good character. I got Shapiro on speed dial. I’ll sue him and make his life more miserable and decrepit than it already is.

Categories : Broncos News
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Orton Contract Extension: The Will of P.P. Be Done

Friday, August 20th, 2010

Smart. The Broncos extended Orton’s contract into 2011. Kyle Orton finally gets a little respect from the Broncos brass and it’s well deserved. I hoped we’d extend it even further, but that’s a lot of dough. We’ll see what kind of year he has and where his competition is at next year, if he’s playing well and nobody can rise to the challenge then we could even extend it again.

Kyle Orton Cincinnati Denver 2010

I’m telling you people, this Kyle Orton is a no-nonsense team player and let’s say someone beats him out eventually–if that happens, then Orton becomes the best backup in the entire league. If he accepts that, which he could–if not, then we could trade him and trust me: there would be takers.

He ain’t no GQ posing prima donna, and with his team-first attitude he and Tebow can coexist for the foreseeable future. You won’t catch Orton bellyaching and acting the fool when they play Tebow in special packages this season. He’s a professional and he’s coachable–unlike that mop-headed doofus who don’t look right up there in Chicago. That pick-a-minute Dort up in Chicago.

So we did the right thing here, McDaniels is probably reading P.P. lately. We did the right thing, this man is important to this team.

Shame. Woe and shame to those who called for Orton’s dismissal before this quarterback “competition” even began. The nerve of some of you people: “Trade Orton Now.”

Woody Paige Orton Broncos

Look at that, eh? Look at that headline. Take a good look at that absolute joke. I’ve told you time and time again that Numbnuts at the Post will lead you right into a ditch. The nine thousand plus sea cucumbers who voted in that Post poll to get rid of Orton, what a joke, what a disgrace. The only excuse those cretins have is if they have is if they’re too young to know what day it is or if they’re Gator fans who don’t know what the hell is going on. How dare they besmirch this Orton and his lovely wife Bridget who love Denver.

You had morons booing him last year, morons failing to realize our team was dead in the water without him. These mental defectives lamented the loss of that Nashville-loving pick throwing mop-headed Dort loser, that GQ posing goonball who ran around the field fumbling and getting picked like a chicken with its proverbial head cut off.

I DON’T FORGET THESE TRANSGRESSIONS. THESE TRANSGRESSIONS THAT ARE MANY. LOOK AT THAT HEADLINE, PULL TRIGGER ON ORTON TRADE. YOU’VE GOT TO BE %$#&ING KIDDING ME. IT’S NOT EVEN AMUSING. THAT NUMBY IS NOTHING BUT A PROVOCATEUR. YET YOU GOT NINE THOUSAND SEA CUCUMBERS NODDING THEIR SPONGE HEADS IN AGREEMENT WITH THAT THING.

Here we have the one proven QB on our roster and we should trade him away? Unbelievable, love him or hate him, Orton is going to have a long career in this league helping us or another team win. The same can’t really be said yet of either Quinn or Tebow.

We did the right thing here, and some of you people out their dissing Orton should hold your tongues and respect this guy, even if he were to get beat out at some point, you’re looking at our best chance to win games. Plus, he could be very valuable to us in the future, whether starting or not.

Kyle Orton Winner

Kyle Orton, Winner

Broncos at Bengals Tonight 7pm EST

Sunday, August 15th, 2010

I’ll be watching the young guys and the new additions, won’t put much salt into this game though, it’s the next two that are most meaningful. The Bengals have already played a game, so they may look more sharp out there tonight. We’ll see if any patterns develop though, like not being able to run the football or not getting to the quarterback. The offensive line is the Broncos biggest question mark.

I keep hearing all this nonsense about how the Denver Broncos 2009 season rested on a mistake play with an opportunistic Brandon Stokley making the flub grab for a touchdown in week one.

As if that was the only point of significance that could have gone either way last year… How about 3rd and 25 against the Eagles deep in the fourth quarter with the game on the line? Defense makes a stop on a 3rd and 25 play and there’s a win right there. How about 4th and 10 in the final minutes of the fourth quarter against Jamarcus the Hutt Russell, eh? Make a stop there and there’s two more wins.

I trust McDaniels won’t spoil too much of his gameplan in the preseason, he’s the second coming of Sun Tzu, so he won’t do that. Unlike that Huckdort up in Chicago, I said last year, I said they played their hand when they faced the Broncos, and I was right. Shut down that tight end Olsen and Hucky and Co. got nothing. They played their hand to win a preseason game. For some reason, we couldn’t figure out they were throwing it to the TE over and over again. Probably that Nolan brainfarting.

I hear that Shanahan thought Huckdort, Marshall and the rest of the old crew were Super Bowl caliber. They were on the verge of a Superbowl in Denver, did you hear that one? What a joke that is, a bunch of poor character, me first losers who never won anything. Maybe we should discuss at length Jay Huckdort Cutler’s playoff prowess–oh yeah, that’s right he could never get into the post season. He is a ticking time bomb, a pick waiting to happen, defenses know it and I love it.

Shanahan will be a good coach for the Redskins, but his time in Denver was long over. Year after year just a few players away from a Super Bowl, eh? Maybe that’s why they were practicing without pads, maybe that’s why they were spoiled. Shanahan stayed on too long, his ways got stale and the writing was on the wall. If he has success with Washington it tells you nothing about the Broncos and their decision to give him the axe. Shanahan got comfortable here, too comfortable. That Huckdort ain’t no winner and Shanahan couldn’t field a defense year after year.

I’m sure Timmy Teebs will take the field in the fourth quarter tonight, some people will be hanging on every pass he throws–not me. Remember a guy by the name of Bradlee Van Pelt, eh? Back in 2005? Came in there and lit everybody up, he ran, he threw he looked like the second coming of John Elway. Rookie cards went through the roof. Then comes the regular season and he plays one game–it was deer in the headlights city–and he’s pretty much out of the league. Not to mention a guy by the name of John Elway, who’s first year was a disaster. Steve Young? Dismal his first two years. This Tebow doesn’t even have the throwing pedigree, he doesn’t even have the throwing acumen of an Elway or a Young, so any dream of Tebow the “pocket passer” is gonna take time.

Why did he draft him, eh? Why did he draft Tebow? Was it Tebow’s intelligence, his will to win and study, putting in the extra effort to retain the complex plays? Was it McDaniels thinking he was the coach who could make Teebs an NFL starting quarterback?’

I say none of that. It was his versatility. That’s why we drafted him. That’s the sure thing about him. To anyone who thinks this Tebow’s just gonna hold a clipboard this year, you better think again. We’ll see who the geniuses are come the regular season.

Categories : Broncos News
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P.P.’s Straight Shootin’ – The Tebow Debacle

Thursday, April 29th, 2010

I heard that Numby at the Post’s got a chill going up his leg for the new John Elway. Numby says it will give us something to talk about and have fun with for years–I see his little ponzi scheme. He just wants to sell papers out of all this hype and spin.

http://www.nfl.com/videos/denver-broncos/09000d5d817e1e8a/Tebow-at-first-practice

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Finally Some Reality

Thursday, January 21st, 2010

Besides my own, for I am reality.

Why would Denver let defensive coordinator Mike Nolan leave?

On the surface, this mutually agreed departure looks a little fishy, but in reality, it was best for both parties. Nolan wanted an opportunity to secure employment for himself in case there was a work stoppage, and the Broncos wanted to make sure they had coaches who wanted to be on staff. Sometimes change is good for both sides. Naysayers might look at Nolan’s departure to the Dolphins as a slap in head coach Josh McDaniels’ face, but I don’t.

McDaniels is a head coach, not just a play caller, which is why I think he’s going to win big in Denver. Most Broncos fans are skeptical about the strategy he employs, but for me, McDaniels clearly knows where he’s doing and knows the best course of action to take along the way. He must transform the Broncos into his team, and in spite of the initial progress they showed last season, it’s going to take time. It’s going to take him being involved in all three phases of the game to get them to behave and play the way he envisions. Losing Nolan allows McDaniels to become more involved with the whole team and lets Nolan obtain the security he wants. I really believe this is a win/win for both.

Now that’s some straight shootin’ Mr. Michael Lombardi.

By the way, we’re getting this guy?
Eric Studesville
Great acquisition, we seem to have gotten tougher already. Won’t be fun fumbling and coming back to that sideline, that’s for damn sure.

I keep seeing morons throwing out these flawed statistics from 08′ Numbnuts and his buddies from the Post keep spewing out there. Notice that Numbnuts trying to smear McDaniels left and right? Numbnuts is acting like someone’s thoroughly flailing and dejected ex-girlfriend. Mad as hell no one will even look at her.

Flawed. Huckdort Cutler and the utterly miraculous 2007-08 Denver Broncos never won anything. Thoroughly mediocre and overrated led by Huckdort and Marshall. All those stats are a bunch of crap, we didn’t win anything. Our defense sucked royally, and Huckdort was out there playing catchup constantly and failing miserably more times than not.

Them Numby’s at the Post are crying over the “glorious” Broncos offense in 2008, what a joke. They ain’t nothing to be proud of. More like an embarrassment led by a gooned out pick throwing overrated Huckdort.

We are heading in the right direction, it can’t be turned around fully in one year. This year it will be Josh McDaniels team. Also, can’t believe these goobers coming out of the woods saying our 09 draft class is a bust. I suppose it’s common knowledge that you judge a draft completely after one year. I suppose we should cut them the way these fools are talking. Would’ve love to see how these morons graded Elway his first year.

Categories : Broncos News
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A Treatise on Kyle Orton

Sunday, January 10th, 2010

Orton Cutler Comparison

Kyle Orton put up Huckdort-like numbers this year, but without the massive amount of picks. Look at all them game killing, momentum shifting dorts by Hucky, unbelievable – or believable, if you’ve been following my expert analysis. Huckdort is who I’ve said he is all along: A poor man’s Favre. He ain’t no Hall of Famer, that’s for damn sure.

But stats schmats. The hell with stats. Every year is different. For example, Huckdort had great stats (besides the massive amount of game killing dorts) in 2008 with the Broncos. We still ended up 7-9. You hear all this nonsense about how the offense was just spectacular, how it wasn’t broken.  The key to the great stats that year is our defense: it absolutely sucked. You thought it was bad at the end of this year? Not hardly in comparison, the 2008 defense got absolutely shredded with consistency. We relied on Huckdort winging the ball around all overconfident, usually while we were trailing behind on the scoreboard trying to play catch up.  Not to mention we struggled running the ball then as we do now.

The stats appear to look pretty decent for Kyle Orton after this season. But the problems with Kyle Orton, (besides that fact that both him and Huckdort don’t look quite right) the problems are his limitations. First, he is not athletic – a two legged goat may in fact have more pocket evasion skills. Second, his deep throws in the thirty-plus yard range sucked. They sucked because: a) His deep throws float, he can throw far, but not hard. They hang up there like a damn punt. b) The Denver Broncos do not have a blazing, deep threat wide receiver. We have very little speed at this position.

Orton is a Winner

Orton is indeed a game manager who excels at short and mid yardage throws. However, you can win with Kyle Orton, you just gotta do some things.

Read More→

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