Archive for Numby

Alert: Tebow Spotted at Six Flags Amusement Park

Friday, June 25th, 2010

Woody Paige Tim Tebow

Listen up all you rubes, I’ve been informed that Timmy “the Gadget” Tebow was just spotted on the Shipwreck Falls ride at Elitch Gardens. Get in your cars and get down there right this minute, maybe you can get your mini helmets and drink coasters signed. Don’t drive too fast now, don’t want to get a ticket for trying to catch Timmy Teebs. Park security claims there is some “gooned out fool” hanging off the back of the ride who is “desperately trying to call John Elway on his cellphone.”

Wouldn’t surprise me at all if the goober hanging off the back turned out to be that Numby, or should I say, “Mr. Objectivity,” at the Denver Post.

Categories : Broncos News
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Kyle Orton Named Starter and Tebow will be Running

Monday, June 14th, 2010

Now that the Denver Post’s false crusade to “trade Orton now” has lost a bunch of wind, our hard working no-nonsense beer drinking quarterback is the starter (the guy we were supposed to trade to make room for the golden boys Brandstater, Quinn and Tebow.)

Kyle Orton Winner

You people out there will respect me. My insight is masterful, my aim is true and my wisdom is second to none, especially when you put me up against the majority of those goobers at the Denver Post floating their false BS to “get people talking.” Instead of respecting me and my divine providence, some of you people turn and heap praise on an illiterate weirdo who wants to trade all our draft picks for the top pick each year; a goober who gets ants in his pants over the likes of a “Corey Boyd.”

No surprise Orton was named starter, however something very interesting is the fact that McDaniels plans on keeping only two quarterbacks active on game days.

National Football Post: According to Broncos coach Josh McDaniels, having three quarterbacks could “put us behind the eight ball at other spots.”

That likely means that either Brady Quinn or rookie Tim Tebow will be inactive with Kyle Orton currently expected to hold onto his starting job.

In light of this, I believe there’s a few scenarios here.

Towards the end of the preseason, if Brady Quinn is perceived to be the “inactive” quarterback–he’s gone. We’ll trade him somewhere, Jacksonville or wherever. Despite what Numby thinks we didn’t give up anything major to get Quinn anyways.

Tim Tebow won’t be the inactive quarterback, I could only see it happening for a couple weeks here and there, maybe if we don’t want to trot out Wild Horses one week for some reason.

But there’s a third scenario I haven’t seen practically anyone bring up yet. It is a scenario that I believe is most probable: Orton the starter, Quinn the backup and Tim Tebow listed as a Running Back.

Oh yeah, he’s gonna be running this year more than he passes, so designate him something other than a quarterback and there you go.

Third QB Wiki: Provided that a club has two quarterbacks on its 45-player Active List, a third quarterback from its Inactive List is permitted to dress for the game, but if he enters the game during the first three quarters, the other two quarterbacks are thereafter prohibited from playing. Although it is not specifically indicated, the NFL has interpreted its rule to mean that in order to designate a third quarterback, the two on the active roster must both be “bona fide” quarterbacks, not other position players merely designated as quarterbacks

Tom Tupa was a punter and an emergency quarterback. Receiver Rod Smith was Denver’s emergency quarterback for many years. I believe our coach McDaniels is the reincarnation of the great Sun Tzu, and he’ll surely find a way to circumvent the third quarterback rule.

Designate Tebow a running back, and name him the emergency quarterback.

It could happen, either that or Brady Quinn is gone and we sign some schlub to be inactive.

Tebow Broncos

You know the Tebow who said “I’ll do whatever they ask of me,” the very same Tebow who stated “They asked me to do certain things and I did them,” the Tebow who was seen throwing to the running backs in the end zone, running the ball control drill with the RB’s…

The latest from Lindsay Jones Twitter: 6/12 We just saw a designed run play for Tim Tebow for the first time in minicamp. Lots of “atta boy” reax from coaches when it worked.
6/13 Tebow came in for one snap, a designed run. Quinn 1-for-3 in his reps, w/ 2 deep incompletions.

I knew he’d be running, but oh no some of you people think he’ll be the day one starter at QB. Oh he’ll just come right in and light up the league with a towel under his right arm, trade Orton now!

He’s gonna be running more than he passes. You wonder why Belichick wanted him? You wonder why all kinds of rumors about New England taking Tebow surfaced back in January? They have Tom Brady. The Colts have Peyton Manning, but Manning even wanted to bring in Tebow for short yardage situations.

Astute New England observers realized Tebow could help them out in short yardage situations. Line up Tebow next to Brady in the shotgun formation, are they gonna snap it to Tebow or Brady? QB option? flea flicker? Possible nightmare scenarios for defenses, this is what will make Tebow a good pick, he can do a lot for us out there alongside Orton, or Quinn.

Tebow the “pocket passer” is a dream. It’s an “if” it’s a “maybe” it’s a possibility somewhere down the line and it may never happen. “Pocket Passer” is part B of the reason I believe we drafted him besides his work ethic and leadership. Part A is Tebow the “Gadget” player, I don’t use that moniker lightly, the utility player that defenses will have to spend extra time game planning for.

Woody Paige Numby

Trade Orton NOW!

I’ll give you a scenario that would make that propaganda spewing, Orton-hating Numby at the Post regurgitate his Rocky Mountain oysters: Tim Tebow could help make Kyle Orton a great quarterback.

Orton Broncos Winner

Categories : Broncos News
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Trade Kyle Orton? Yeah Right

Sunday, May 9th, 2010

So I see that Numbnuts at the Post is calling for Kyle Orton to be traded, along with that Kiszla.

Woody Paige

Numby

Bunch of geniuses at the Post, oh they must sound like modern day Socrates around that water cooler.

To themselves.

And a bunch of rubes.

Let’s examine this logic:

A) Hand the reins of your football team to a guy who’s NFL record absolutely sucks.

B) Hand the reins to a 100% unproven rookie who “seems” like Tom Brady in practice and off the field.

Are you kidding me? This team was dead without Orton last year.

He’s not going to win a popularity contest, but he’s proven, he’s reliable.

He’s not the only reason for that 8 loss slump, the blame went around, the porous offensive line, the worn down defensive line. 4th and 10 in the Raiders game, 3rd and 25 in the Eagles game, make a play and we’re 10 and 6.

But oh no, just like Chris Simms supposedly “outperformed” Kyle Orton in practice, Brady Quinn and Tim Tebow have magically done the same in the realm of public opinion.

It’s opinion that Quinn could take over Orton’s starting job, it’s opinion that Tebow is the second coming of John Elway.

It’s fact that Kyle Orton can at least win games in the NFL. Something Tim Tebow’s never done, something Brady Quinn has sucked at.

Yeah just trade him away because opinions are the competition will surpass him.

Brady Quinn’s NFL record = Sucks.

Tim Tebow’s NFL record = Goose Egg.

Before a down of preseason football has been played, let’s trade away our one steady, proven commodity at QB.

Sheer genius I suppose. What are we gonna get for him? A fourth rounder in next year’s draft? That will help us win games, won’t it?

If the Broncos had been so enamored with Orton after the last so-so season, they wouldn’t have first acquired Quinn and then drafted Tebow.

We needed a backup quarterback, hence acquiring Brady Quinn for what? A player that we never played and a couple late round dime-a-dozen picks?

And that Tebow’s only a maybe, a possibility.

Let’s get this straight: I don’t hate Tebow. I don’t think he will be a starting NFL quarterback. I think he could become the best Wild Horses (wildcat) player in the league. Calling this guy John Elway 2.0 because he “seems like him when he walks in a room” or “prepares like him” or whatever is a joke. He’s done nothing in the NFL. Not even a preseason game. He may never be a franchise quarterback. The expectations for a player who’s never played in a NFL game, preseason or otherwise are ridiculous.

If Tebow starts and we win a Super Bowl with him, fine. Great. I don’t think he will start, not as a quarterback outside Wild Horses.

Trading Orton, our one proven QB who has performed on Sundays so McDaniels can “have more time to train the wholly unproven players,” is bereft of even a modicum of common sense and or tact.

If Broncomaniacs booed Orton a year ago for not being Cutler, think of the grief he will endure for delaying the start of Tebow time.

If Orton is under center when the Broncos break the huddle, it might be the first time in NFL history the crowd loudly chants its demand for the visiting team to make a change at quarterback.

If Numbnuts is Jon Stewart, then this Kiszla is Stephen Colbert. What a joke, what a laugh. We’re going to base our decision on who starts at QB, we’re gonna base that on fan reaction? Are you serious? Better start Timmy Teebs because Orton threw his first pick three games in?

I’m telling you people, there probably won’t be a quarterback controversy this year, but there will be at the Post: They’ll make sure of it. Nothing sells papers like a good ol’ QB controversy.

You’ve got to be a grade A ignoramus, stooge, moron, idiot to base starting a player on media cheerleading and a few misaligned, misshapen goobers booing in the stands.

Same goobers that booed Orton last year I bet, eh? Some geniuses they were. Who’d they want to start, Brandstater? It obviously couldn’t be Simms… Or was it? Or maybe they all just jumped ship after that Chicago preseason game when Jay Huckdort Cutler looked like John Elway 2.0 for a few minutes. Sent a tingle up Numby’s spine I bet that one did.

woody paige

Simms is the starter

Weak, fickle. Never seen so much weakness and fickle minds just blowing around, void of reality. Losers selling their tickets to Raiders and Steeler fans. Goonballs at the city’s newspaper offering up lame ideas left and right, sheep bobbing their heads agreeing with it all. Unbelievable, some of you people are just lapping their distortions right up like a bunch of moronic sea cucumbers. That Krieger claiming the Dolphins made out like bandits in the Marshall deal the day after it, Denver got rooked–what a joke. These people aren’t even serious half the time, more than half the time. Just clowns stirring the pot.

In other news, I see that Ronald Fields got busted for a unlawful weapons charge, whatever. That ain’t so horrible, but you have to get your crap squared away, get a permit. I extol the Second Amendment, can’t fault him too much for wanting to protect himself, but Fields should know better.

Get a permit, and you can be like P.P.–I ain’t no easy win, and that’s for damn sure.

Categories : Broncos News
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Kyle Orton: No Respect

Thursday, May 6th, 2010

Seeing a lot of disrespect being thrown at the main reason the Broncos managed to go 8 and 8 last year. Could’ve been 10 and 6 had we made a play on Jamarcus Russell 4th and 10 plus 3rd and 25 against Donovan McNabb–couldn’t make a play and that wasn’t because of mediocre quarterback play.

Numby at the Post wanted to trade away Orton for Tebow pre-draft, now we got people claiming we should trade Orton to Minnesota.

I suppose that’s genius, let’s see, we’ll trade away the one guy who saved us from being DEAD in the WATER all last year. We really would have been 4 and 12, hell probably 2 and 14 last year if Orton went down for the whole season.

kyle Orton

Who knows what the hell Brady Quinn will do? He’s not assured the starting job just because he’s “gotten better accuracy in practice.”

Quinn’s got a lot to prove this preseason, we’ll see, the jury is out.

Now Tebow, some of you people can’t be serious. We’ve got a guy here who’s expected to be a 2-3 year project QB who MAY or MAY NOT even become a starting NFL quarterback. You’ve got two thirds of the pundits out there saying he’ll never be a starting quarterback. You’ve got Mike Shanahan–who likes Tebow–admitting he’d put him on special teams so he doesn’t rot on the bench.

Yet this guy, this rookie is just going waltz right in–no matter if the system takes three years to get comfortable with–in three months he’ll go from rookie project running man wildcatter to starting quarterback? Good luck.

My position is that of reason. I am reasonable unlike some of you people. You’re expectations are too high. This Tebow can be an excellent player for us in the wildcat, worthy of the first round pick being that weapon for us alone.

I believe McDaniels saw a person of good character, an exceptional athlete and a football player who could do a lot of things–especially in Wild Horses and someone who has the remote chance of “possibly” being a starting quarterback somewhere down the line. The starting quarterback thing is a maybe, it’s only a possibility. The first pick in the draft Sam Bradford isn’t even immune to not even working out in the end.

Ten steps ahead of this Numby’s game. Talking up Mr. Popularity Tebow left and right,  trying desperately to get Elway to meet him. Numby claims Orton doesn’t care about Elway.

Elway (supposedly) wasn’t friendly with Josh McDaniels either.

Let’s see:

John Elway one of the greatest if not the greatest QB ever? Check.

John Elway’s opinion not mattering one bit these days? Check.

Who the hell cares even if it was true? When did Elway retire, 1998?

Go ahead you rubes, follow that Numby snake oil salesman. He thinks Tebow will be a bona fide John Elway 2.0 because he “talked to him and he just has that aura.”

My track record up against Numby’s? His sucks. It absolutely sucks.

All this year we’re going to hear Numby bellyaching about how awful McDaniels is for not starting Tebow day one. Orton, or Quinn for that matter will have one sub-par outing and that lapping green tongued drunkard Numbnuts will be yodeling Tebow into the hills like a bumbling sot fresh off a nigh-hallucinogenic Mad Dog 20/20 bender. If there isn’t a quarterback controversy in Denver this year, Numby will see to it that there is one–and loudly. Tebow’s a better story, a better interview, he sells papers.

Woody Paige

Numby

You wonder why this Numby gushed over the pick?

Categories : Broncos News
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There’s Life Left in Numby

Thursday, April 22nd, 2010

I’ll tell you something: If our team isn’t doing well in the next couple years McDaniels is gone. He lives and dies with this Tebow pick. Tebow better not be a back up for his career and a part time wildcat H back.

Numbnuts Woody Paige

Numby gets his guy.

Categories : Broncos News
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Numby Watch 3/20

Saturday, March 20th, 2010

Numbnuts Woody Paige

Numby’s latest “mailbag” at the Post starts off with this question:

Woody: Once in a while when I read your column, I wonder if you or a reader is giving up too much information on a public forum on the team’s intentions on the draft or whatever the team will be doing for the next game. Have you heard of another team getting unintended inside intel from a mailbag or article that they’ve used to their advantage?
– Bob E., Washington, D.C.

Bob E., whoever you is, allow me to answer this question better than Numby ever could.

While other teams may get valuable intel at times from reading other sources, there’s not a chance in hell that Numby is ever giving up too much Broncos information. Numby’s info is only sopped up as gospel truths by sea cucumbers, morons, degenerates and garden variety ignoramus’s who emanate odoriferous logic and woefully insufficient tact.

For example: We should pay Brandon Marshall 50+ million, the Broncos were never interested in picking Ryan Clady, Ryan Clady isn’t all that great of a player, the Broncos will go 16-0 in 2008 and 4-12 in 2009, Simms should be the starter, Nolan was the first mistake of the Josh McDaniels era and the Broncos are picking Terence Cody.

Numby’s latest in a series of misfires has him stating Josh McDaniels and John Elway are not friends:

I talk to Elway occasionally, and the subject, honestly, hasn’t come up.

I don’t think McDaniels has ever met with Elway or invited him out to practice. So there’s no close relationship between Elway and the coach or the player.

A thoroughly porous dig at the coach who Numby believes “is not his own man.” Numby also stated “the wrong coach left town,” when Mike Nolan headed to Miami.

This week, a shocked and defeated Numby retracts his previous misinformed brain droppings:

He (Asst to HC, Mark Thewes) called to tell me that Elway and McDaniels have indeed established a good relationship, have talked on the phone “many times,” and that they’ve had lunch during the offseason (presumably at John Elway’s restaurant, not Mike Shanahan’s.)

Numby gets busted! Touche Numbnuts! Looks like your best buddy Elway is hanging with your hoody wearing nemesis McD after all. On top of that, they probably sit on the phone at times laughing their balls off at your latest moronic comments. No wonder why they ain’t telling that Numby nothing.

I got something for Numby to bring up with McDaniels in his annual interview (an interview I bet McDaniels loathes as a complete waste of time), how bout you tell McDaniels “The wrong coach left town,” when Nolan went to Miami?

Not a chance in hell that anyone around the league with more than half a brain in their heads are spying on Numby’s posts. Numby’s posts that are surely loaded with soaring football knowledge and spot on accuracy that only a true Broncos insider could muster.

Categories : Broncos News
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