Archive for The Truth about Huckdort

Monday Night Huck

Monday, September 27th, 2010

Hucky versus Green Bay on Monday Night Football. I’m predicting two dorts tonight. One of which will be a dreaded, thoroughly devastating yet ultimately entertaining “untimely” dort.

Categories : Broncos News, Huckdort
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Ode to Huckdort

Monday, November 9th, 2009

Magnificent air, crisp on Sunday,

Cardinals leading Bears upon boreal November peat,

Thirty four to twenty one with time to spare,

A comeback he could muster?

Oh that’s what they hope for Jay Huckdort Cutler,

He’s a stellar one don’t you see? How could you let him get away?

Arm strong and head full of bluster,

A comeback in the fourth quarter is what he’ll surely muster,

Oh that’s what they hope for Jay Huckdort Cutler,

Jay hucks the ball with savage grace, but lo it goes the other way,

Ensuring victory for Phoenix, to Huckdort’s dismay,

The obligatory pick,

Woe to them up in Chicago, Huckdort’s erratic as that Blago,

Errant throws and poor defense,

Sold the team’s future for an arm worth sixpence.

Oh how they still hope for Jay Huckdort Cutler.

I am highly irritated by the fact that at this time of writing the Huckdort counter has not been updated in a timely manner. Dereliction of duty. It should read 12.

What’s that I heard? McDaniels made a terrible mistake? Not trading our first round pick next year, but the first round pick we got from Chicago? Insane wasn’t it?

We may damn well be picking in the top ten next year.

You see that Huckdort? Huh? More of the same. I give credit to Mike Francessa of New York’s WFAN which I get on DirecTV. Funny how ESPN smeared and besmirched him in general at around the same time he made the comment last spring. He had the mental fortitude to point out maybe, just maybe…

Maybe instead of McDaniels being a stupid, ridiculous punk who doesn’t know talent and doesn’t know how to run a team…

Maybe instead of Pat Bowlen being senile and losing his mind…

Maybe, just maybe Huckdort Cutler was overrated. Maybe the problem wasn’t the organization, but instead Jay Huckdort Cutler.

Jay “Hucks” the ball and “Dort” gets picked off.

More of the same, pick throwing, pouting, fumbling and above all: losing.

Losing with or without a stellar offensive line. Losing with or without a good receiving corps. All this nonsense that if we still had Cutler “things would be different.”

Damn right they’d be different, we’d probably only have a paltry .500 record or worse. Those picks are killers. 12 of them so far.

His picks are absolute killers, they hand the other team the ball in bad spots, they give the other team hope and confidence. At all times. At any time Jay could Dort. They know it. That’s not even counting the additional fumbles.

Urlacher was correct in his unbridled enthusiasm: “I guess we upgraded at quarterback.”

The difference between Jay Huckdort Cutler and John Elway is clear: Elway won games. Elway could take a team like this Bears team, shoddy offensive line, just ok receivers, basic running game. Elway could take a team like this to the NFC championship or further. He was a winner, and made up for his interceptions with touchdowns and wins. Cutler isn’t Elway, that’s plain to see. He’s not even a Pro Bowl caliber quarterback yet. He got their by default last year.

I had a good laugh when I heard the Bears didn’t look but five minutes at Jay Huckdort Cutler’s tapes before they decided to pull the trigger on the deal. They obviously were wowed by a few bullet passes and completely missed all the interceptions, all the fumbling and jawing at his teammates.

Then again, to the commoner, he is a Pro Bowler you know.

That Bears team looks downright defeated and deflated. Maybe Huckdort’s losing ways rubbed off on the whole team like it seemed to last year, especially in the second half of the season. Their schedule is getting tougher too, I fully expect more Dorts. I am in preliminary discussions to throw a celebration when Huckdort throws his 20th pick. I think it can realistically happen and it will be glorious to behold.

I told you people right after the draft on them Denver Post forums: McDaniels made a statement to his team and Chicago by trading our pick next year: We will be better than the Bears.

I have more respect for Pat Bowlen. I was a bit sore at him keeping Shanahan on so long and giving him so much power. Shanahan will go on to coach and possibly coach well, but his time was over in Denver years ago. Pat Bowlen also wears brown suits, I am highly skeptical of people who wear brown suits. Bowlen hand picked Josh McDaniels. Not only this, but he terminated Jay Huckdort Cutler. All this crap about “how can you do this with a franchise quarterback,” Steve Young, Chris Collinsworth practically crying about it and Woody Paige lamenting the franchise is lost if Huckdort goes. Bowlen, on the other hand knew the truth: Screw him, the kid is overrated.

Some may think I am being egregious in continuing to terrorize Huckdort.  But we have the Bears first pick next draft.

Plus, I was sick and tired of hearing: Huckdort’s a Pro Bowler, we traded the franchise away, how could you do this, what a blow to McDaniels, how can an organization do this, Huckdorts don’t come around very often, the sky is falling. I heard this nonsense ad nauseum. Now it’s time for come-uppins especially to the goobers who had the nerve to down-vote my truths and awe inspiring accuracy.

And lastly to Paige, if it was him that emailed me here’s my pre season prediction: on this site, and look no further than the Denver Post comments section under the very mockery that was Paige’s 4 and 12 prediction. It is only a paltry amount of information compared to the batting back of insufficient tact, the work I took on buffeting uneducated, unscrupulous and uninspiring Broncos information all off season long.

Maybe Woody Paige was correct, but he just had the wrong team. Maybe he made a little error in his 4 and 12 Broncos prediction this year. Just change the team to the Bears and ol Paige is looking like a bona fide genius.

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