Woody Paige Tim Tebow

Listen up all you rubes, I’ve been informed that Timmy “the Gadget” Tebow was just spotted on the Shipwreck Falls ride at Elitch Gardens. Get in your cars and get down there right this minute, maybe you can get your mini helmets and drink coasters signed. Don’t drive too fast now, don’t want to get a ticket for trying to catch Timmy Teebs. Park security claims there is some “gooned out fool” hanging off the back of the ride who is “desperately trying to call John Elway on his cellphone.”

Wouldn’t surprise me at all if the goober hanging off the back turned out to be that Numby, or should I say, “Mr. Objectivity,” at the Denver Post.